Me and my soon to be husband is supposed to be on the ball for planning our wedding but he just don't seem to wanna get in the mood. He says its up to a woman to plan her dream wedding. How do i get him to help when he won't even sit with me. He says he will help but when i sit him down at the computer to look up information on everything he just says i ain't got time. Help.
2006-08-13 08:35:40 · 19 answers · asked by Sami 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
True. Men don't like to plan much of anything LOL..
2006-08-13 08:42:13 · update #1
I was talking with my man last night and i was trying to explain to him what all i wanted to do and get his input on it. He says i don't care do what ever you want. He said all i want to do is get married to you. Its your big day. I just want it to turn out how u want it to.:) so some of the things ya all said Its working out. :)
2006-08-14 10:17:58 · update #2
Just tell him look i need you're help cause it's you're wedding too. Just not mine and I could use some of you're help.Because I don't want to pick a color that you may not want to have at the wedding.and if that doesn't get him going.Tell him that he will end up wearing a pink tux to the wedding. if he doesn't want to help you plan the wedding. that should get him. best of luck
2006-08-13 08:47:24 · answer #1 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl,let me tell you from experience that your fiance have very different perspectives on this great day. It's your special day. period! He wants to be married to you, and doesn't care what colors the balloons are. For him its an action thing. The act of getting married. For you every detail has to be perfect. Being male, I'm not sure which is the most important part for a woman, the planning, the actual day and how it goes, or remembering and reliving both the planning and the day. I do know that all three are very important. don't take his seemed lack of interest as "he doesn't care about me" or "this isn't important to him". The most important thing to him is that the wedding day is everything you dream it will be (and that as of that day he will be your husband). You plan it how you want it and I promise he'll give input on anything he sees to make it better, but very likely he'll be ecstatic just to be there with you. Don't let this stress you out, it will be the easiest thing you plan for the next fifty years cause he will have an opinion on everything else for the rest of your lives.
Congratulations and good luck
2006-08-13 15:53:19 · answer #2 · answered by CJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the real world. Men are not usually into planning things like weddings or any emotional events. They love to plan stock car races, and where to dig post holes, but weddings? Nuh-uh.
So. This is supposed to be a wedding for the two of you, and you are thinking that at this rate it's just going to be 'your' wedding and he won't have any part in it. Wrong! This is where you use a little finesse. Draw up all the plans for the wedding. Draw up all the plans for an alternate wedding. Then present him with the two sets of plans. Ask him which one he likes best. You'd really be pushing your luck if you gave him three sets of plans, but with two, he'll make a decision and feel proud of himself that he's 'helped' to plan the wedding.
2006-08-13 18:40:50 · answer #3 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His lack of interest and effort is a BIG RED FLAG.....will he be like this as a husband? Will he show the same disregard for other things that he know are important to you? I would take a step back and ask yourself this.....
He seems to really be opposed to this. Most guys jump at the chance to solve a problem or offer a solution.....
Are you sure he's into being married, or does he just feel obligated to to prove his love for you? Does he see this as a loss of freedom,or dread the responsibility?
He sure is acting like it now.......Don't make any excuses for his behavior. Stop the wedding planning until you se his interest in it. Tell him it won't happen unless he shows in his effort that he wants it to happen.....
2006-08-13 15:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've just got to face the fact that although you've been planning your wedding since your childhood, he hasn't. Ask for his opinion, but don't get too upset with him when he doesn't want to help or doesn't give any input. At least ask him; that way, if he says something later, you can always point out that you asked him and he said he didn't care or it didn't matter or whatever.
Be patient. Good luck and congrats!
2006-08-13 16:15:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's already told you he thinks this is for the women. So that should tell you that his input is going to be limited.
Tell him you'd appreciate his opinion on certain things. That you think it's important for him to know & understand what's going on....as it is his wedding day, too. Tell him you don't want him to be disppointed. And there are some things you CAN'T do, like choosing the groomsmen. Be choosy what you want his input on.
If he still balks, succumb to the fact that he just isn't going to do it. You can't force him. It'll only make you both, miserable.
2006-08-13 15:48:53 · answer #6 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Luck I planned it. He just didn't care until it came to the music at the wedding the only thing he cared about.
2006-08-13 16:11:42 · answer #7 · answered by chickannie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. You take the opportunity to plan your dream wedding and run with it, and thank God that you don't have to argue with him about any of it! lol
My husband was the same way...there were a few things he wanted a certain way, but that was it....it's a guy thing, I think....good luck!
2006-08-13 17:51:22 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him that this is "our" wedding not "my" wedding. I did the same thing with my husband and from then on we planned it together. It is a ceremony that reflects both the bride and groom.
2006-08-13 15:43:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all- congratulations! :) secondly- welcome to the trials and tribulations of weddings! you are not alone. i've talked to many many many brides to be and for the most part they say exactly what you're saying: he just isn't interested! i'm going through the same thing myself. i wish i could be of more assistance but i haven't figured it out yet and we're getting married in two months! i've yelled, screamed, cried, berated...and still....not much. for some fiances- that works- for me it worked a little- but not really. I was screaming and yelling every day. Now- i've decided to stop and basically I've given him a few small tasks (pick his tux, pick the music, arrange for the marriage liscence, and arrange for transportation for out of town guests). Everything else i'm doing myself. Good luck! :)
2006-08-14 01:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by fuzzyblue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋