My wife constantly complains about me farting all night long, Is there a way to save my marriage?

Question

Or I have to buy an Oxigen Mask?

(I'm really bored... LOL)

Answer 1

Lol! Well, at least your honest and don't blame it on your wife as some guys do thinking they are SO funny. but seriously...

Maybe you are lactose intolerant or have some kind of digestive problem you are unaware of. The advice above about watching what you eat is correct, you don't have to write it down but take note, because some of your favorite foods, ie hot dogs, ice cream, etc maybe be the Problem...and you can enjoy them still but it helps to know so you can maybe prevent the gas with an OTC (over the counter tablet)
If dairy and processed cold cuts and things give you extra gas...try Dairy Ease or Lactaid or something specific for that, as it works they say, very well.
But hey, it won't end your marriage if you say "Excuse Me" and go to the necessary (bathroom) as much as your location & cirucumstance (obviously no one can know if they are sleep)allows you to. But, try something OTC, they have great stuff noways for IBS and Colitis and everything! Don't self-diagnose but it's not hard to find out if you stomach grumbles and feels slighty uneasy immediately after eating certain foods, and you can use that as your guide!

Answer 2

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
My wife constantly complains about me farting all night long, Is there a way to save my marriage?
Or I have to buy an Oxigen Mask?

(I'm really bored... LOL)

Answer 3

If you have a king-sized bed, it gives more room between you and your wife. You may wish to check your diet. What you are eating is creating a lot of gas in your body which will expel in the form of farting while you sleep. You can't help farting, but excessive farting should be looked into. Another idea is use Beano. It works.

Answer 4

Hubby farts all night too. But the bad smelling farts happen when he has a Big Mac or any hamburger for that matter. But when he eats lots of veggies, the farts smell less tart. he he he

Better check your diet. Some foods do cause gas bubbles to form.

You can also start taking a cleansing diet, at least to make your fart odor less smelly. Make a fruit drink made up of an apple, orange, half a cucumber, half a carrot and some celery and lemon, blended with ice. Drink that at least once a day. That ought to make your farts more aggreable...scent wise that is.

*Gas is made primarily of odorless vapors—carbon dioxide, oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, and sometimes methane. The unpleasant odor of flatulence comes from bacteria in the large intestine that release small amounts of gases that contain sulfur.

Most foods that contain carbohydrates can cause gas. By contrast, fats and proteins cause little gas.Too much gas may be the result of carbohydrate malabsorption.

Foods that may cause gas include

* beans
* vegetables, such as broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, onions, artichokes, and asparagus
* fruits, such as pears, apples, and peaches
* whole grains, such as whole wheat and bran
* soft drinks and fruit drinks
* milk and milk products, such as cheese and ice cream, and packaged foods prepared with lactose, such as bread, cereal, and salad dressing
* foods containing sorbitol, such as dietetic foods and sugarfree candies and gums

Answer 5

Dear Pinguino

Your marriage is saved, all men and women go through the same problem which cannot be avoided upon your part or there's.

Try [ Andrew's Liver Salts ] and if this does not work, then ask your wife to join the gang.

I therefore trust that this answer's your medical question.

Answer 6

Drink Kefir. Its a thick milk thats tastes like yogurt. Chug a pint bottle and it'll go away. Drink some every once in a while and you won't hardly ever fart.

Kefir is probiotic, and replaces the good bacteria in your digestive system.

Kefir is ok but can be nasty to some who haven't tried it. You can throw kefir and a banana in a blender with a little honey and it makes a pretty good smoothie.

Answer 7

LOL too, at least you have a good sense of humor about it. You may need to become more aware of the food that you eat and how they affect you system. Many food make a person produce moree gas than others. If this seems to be more bothersome or serious your doctor can possibly run a few tests to see if something else is going on.;-)

Answer 8

Keep a food log. Determine what foods, beans, onions, etc, make you fart the most - then avoid them.

Go buy peppermint oil and put a few drops on a rag, and put that near your wife's pillow. It will be a pleasant scent she can put her nose near, if your food avoidance hasn't started to work yet.

Answer 9

No Dutch Oven's

Answer 10

According to Johnny Cash, the secret to a successful marriage is separate bedrooms.

Or, you could eat some spinach etc.