I started dating this guy when i was 16 years old, my first love my first everything. 6 months pass and he broke up with me cus he said he was going to go back to his girl cus they had a baby, way back, it really hurt me and i really didnt beg him but i was extremely hurt because i lost my virginity to him. so he kept calling me everyday and telling me that he misses me and **** like that..hhmm so i didnt take him back but we did see eachother one day and we had sex. 1 month pass and i met this guy in my school, and we started going out, he was a virgin and we had sex right away. 2 months later i go to the doctor to get my self check and find out that i had herpes. the worst news ever, i told my boyfriend and he wasnt mad at me, but everytime we used to fight he would blame me for giving him that and i feel so guilty. now im 19 and we are still together but we are always fighting, i dont know what to do, i wanna hate the guy who gave me that but in the end it was all my fault
2006-08-10 11:56:03 · 9 answers · asked by mendezlugarcia 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
It was the guy who gave you the herpes fault. If you did not know you had herpes, it wasn't your fault. If you DID know, then it's your fault. Your bf should be thankful you told him when you found out rather than keeping it to yourself like your first bf did. If he keeps hanging this guilt trip over your head, you need to find a new bf, because this one is just going to keep making you miserable.
2006-08-10 12:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by PuttPutt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first off, don't let anyone degrade you for having herpes, or having sex; even if it was a little early. Many people do this (me included, I had my first son when I was 16) and many lie about when their first time was. As for your boyfriend, he needs to get over his aditude and quit bringing up the past or he is not worthy of you. It is not only your fault that you got this STD, the guy who gave it to you is at fault to because he should have been tested and if he knew he should have told you. When it comes to condoms and protection the only thing that is full-proof is abstinence but that is in the past and there is no way to turn back time (if there is let me know, that maybe helpful when it comes to health and bills, lol). At this point there is nothing that you can do about what happened and you can not change it. I hope you are able to make him understand this or move on soon. Do not let him make you into the bad guy in this, if he was worried about getting something he should have mentioned that you both needed tests before you were sexually active. Also, it is really hard for males to prove virginity (no offence guys) so there is not really a way to be sure that you are the one that had herpes first. Feel better soon, and don't let anyone put you down or degrade you for choices made when you were younger. We have all made mistakes in the past and do not have the right to judge one person as being worse than the other. (((((((hugs))))))))
2006-08-10 19:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by kd_jb2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it was not all your fault. But not much point in wasting any time in hating the guy that gave you herpes. Herpes is an inconvenience, nothing else. But you have learned that lesson. Anyone who will keep throwing it in your face has not grown up and not worth bothering with. You will find someone else, you are young. Don't waste your time on the guy you have now. You will fight about this forever. Good luck.
2006-08-10 19:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by chubs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what i have experienced... he will always bring this up! It will always be what you gave him. He doesnt understand that its not your fault that you got it, all he see's is that you gave it to him and he was a virgin. You need to sit down with him and tell him how it makes you feel when he says that. Try putting the shoe on the other foot. Let him know what it would fell like if it was hte other way around. Good Luck and if you keep fighting... its not worth it! There is someone eles out there that will love you for you!
2006-08-11 09:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by NaVy WiFeY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he had herpes. That is who you got it from. He probably had it all alond, and never told you, but wants to make you feel guilty. Wake up...Love yourself...You Deserve better!
2006-08-10 19:28:41 · answer #5 · answered by SUGA_STORMY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will heal, but knowledge and understanding seems to be lacking here. It wouldn't hurt to chill from sex and get your priorities straight first.
2006-08-13 21:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the guy you went out with was a virgin .. then he couldent give you herpes .. it has had to come from your old bf..
2006-08-10 22:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by purple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your too young to be having so much sex try closing your legs and opening a book
2006-08-10 19:06:11 · answer #8 · answered by happygirl1384 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you never heard of condoms or protection?
2006-08-10 19:09:46 · answer #9 · answered by Briann H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋