Dear friends...
I'm loving a girl for more than 3 years...
She is also... We are very deep... Like "made for each other"...
One mistake we did is, we couldn't tell about our love to our parents or others before because of family situation.
Now the girl's parents arranged marriage for her..
They convinced her to marry the person arranged by them..
She loves me verymuch and can't against her parents also...
She is crying... She can't leave me, I can't live without her...
I tried to get permission from the girl's parents, but they are telling that all the preparation is going on, now what to do..?
Now the girl is saying that if we did something to stop this marriage means, it will affect everyone especially the parents verymuch...
so, let us leave this as it is... i will marry that unknown person, this is my fact... and she is crying...
These words affected my heart very much, i can't even sleep in night now, i'm feeling about the past things...
2006-08-06 23:55:22 · 15 answers · asked by My_Answers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is there any possibilities to stop this marriage without affecting anybody's soul deeply...??
Because, this marriage will affect our heart life-long... It does not seem to be a right thing...
Our heart is becoming weak everyday...
But onething, we are not ready to elope.. we want to live with our parents' blessings...
Please take this as your own, and give us your valuable suggestion.... please...
PS:
We are in different locations, the girl's parents don't allow us to contact... :((
The church announced the first announcement about the marriage... :((
2006-08-06 23:55:42 · update #1
You are in a dificult situation. And believe me that is what marriage is like, a lifetime facing challenges together, fears, happiness and worries TOGETHER. If you can not present a UNITED front now, you will not likely have a succesful marriage anyway. You need to tell her that you will be there for her unconditionally always but you need to know that you have her support too, specially now, and that if she does give you this support you will find the way out of this problem. If she can not trust you enough to do this, then the battle is lost. A relationship is a two way street. Both have to give. Not only you.
If she says yes, the recruit the help of anyone in a possition to help. What about talkint to the clergyman that will celebrate the marriage? Would he go through it even knowing the bride does not want to? Maybe there is an uncle or aunt that you trust that can talk to the parents? Maybe your parents are afraid of what other people would think if the wedding is cancelled. Is there a way to stop the wedding, a "reason" that would still save face for them? I know you don't want to be defyiant against your parents but how about going on a hunger strike to show how serious you are about this? I have found the best way to grow strong in the face of adversity is to pray together. If she prays with you together, (even over the phone if you are away from each other), you will grow closer and stronger. Pray for courage, for strenght, for your parents to change their minds.
Good Luck. And remember, if everything fails, maybe God has a better plan for you, or a better girlfriend that is willing to fight for you all the way!!!
2006-08-07 00:30:59 · answer #1 · answered by TrueSoul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm...it's a difficult situation. You should have told your parents from the beginning, but you didn't. No one blames you for that, but now you 2 are suffering because of that. I don't know if there's any way you could stop the wedding, but you could try going on the wedding day and when she'll be asked if she wants to marry that person and if anyone objects to it....say what's in your heart. I really can't find another way for your problem, because her parents chose the person she'll marry and if you have a religion which doesn't permit to be agains the parents' will...then it's useless trying to explain them what you 2 feel now. You had the chance to do it, but you didn't take it, now you'll suffer for it and it's not right, but...if nothing will be solved, the best solution for you is to forget each other and move on with your lives no matter how hard it will be.
2006-08-07 00:07:54 · answer #2 · answered by mickurahul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both are serious, sincere and committed to have the rest of your life together, make it crystal clear to the parents of both, additionally with a damage control exercise from the church also. Having not specifically furnished any socio-economical backgrounds, a view on that count could not be ascertained. When you 'both are made for each other', how come your other getting ready to be some other's? Guidance and support from the church on the mutual request of the both side parents could only alter the impasse!
2006-08-07 00:09:07 · answer #3 · answered by mkm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Young man
Your story is very sad. The decision she has to make will have consequences for the rest of her life. Either she chooses to satisfy her parents or she satisfies herself. Either way there will be pain and sadness.
What I want to say may not sound pleasant for right now but mister, you have to stand up and keep going. You have tried to arrange the situation by talking to her parents but she did not do that. She doesn't seem to want to confront them. Have you done 100% of what you could do, have she done 100% of what she could do?
If you did then you did everything you humanly could do. In a few years you will come to that conclusion and it might be easier to let go, live your life fully and love another woman.
Right you are powerless over what is going on. It will shake for awhile, hang in there and stay alive.
2006-08-07 00:14:35 · answer #4 · answered by Jolia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if she is in love with you and marry someone else it isn't gonna work anyway because her love for you will overtake her feelings for him.If she really wants to be with you I would have to take the place of the other one It is nobody choice but hers if her parents doesn't see that I'm sorry because they are looking at their happiness not hers.As far as the preparation you could fit right in!!!I hope you feel better but I know you ain't cause LOVE hurts
2006-08-07 00:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by I wish I could......... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot depends on where you two are living. In any "Western" Country, [by that I mean U.K., Canada, U.S.A., European Countries], it is against the law to force anyone--man or woman--to marry against their wishes. This applies whether or not her parents are citizens, or landed immigrants, REGARDLESS of religion or "custom". No one of age, or under-age, including girls, can be forced to marry in these Countries.
If the Parents take the girl back to the "homeland" in an effort to make it "legal", it is ONLY so in that "homeland", & NOT in any of the Countries I've mentioned. They can be charged with kidnapping when they return, if she was forced to marry against her will, and if she is under-age, the Authorities can remove her from both her Parents' home & her so-called "husband's" or "in-laws". If this happens in Canada with an under-age girl, the marriage is automatically null & void. But watch out. If she is even a day still under majority here in Canada, or U.S., and she marries you, if her parents wish, the same arm of the law can be applied to you. So be careful.
However. With your case, as she seems to be caving in rather easily to pressure, if I were you, I'd think pretty hard before starting something you may regret. At least make SURE this really IS love on the part of BOTH of you. And that she isn't using this "arranged" marriage, as a convenient way to back out your relationship.
As I said, this all depends on where you're living. I can only give advice based on those Countries I mentioned. Good luck.
2006-08-07 00:35:26 · answer #6 · answered by Laura 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way out of this with out hurting some one.
Which is more important to you your parent's blessing or you happiness. If you elope your parents may eventually understand or they may not. Would you rather be happy and together or you parents get their way and you are all miserable for the rest of your lives, including the guy she is marrying because she doesn't love him and never will.
2006-08-07 00:08:53 · answer #7 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fu*k the parents, is your choice and hers, don't make those parents controlling your guys life! come on, if you love this girl, you will do anything to stop it, either run away and marry her or go straight up and speak with the parents! but remember she has to put in her part too, if you had tried a lot of things already, but she doesn't make the effort then she's the one that don't want to go with you or don't want to deal with the parents... even you want to be with her so bad, she also has to give out the effort to be with you and tell her parents what she feels about that marriage and with you
2006-08-07 00:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attend her mariage and run away with her. Actually if she has more family power, the decision is on her, if she cant do anything then she is weak. if she really loves you, she can do it, she can go walk against them. i have a rl friend too, she marries with someone she doesnt love just because HER parents dont let her to marry different race guy. SHE ENDS UP MISSERABLY and UNHAPPY! SO you have to convince this to her, if you dont want to see her breakdown in her future marriage, SO YOU GO STOP IT , sacrifice your pride, stop the weeding when it's proceed!! you have to do it hard, try hard, dont give up easily! but seriously if the gurl can maybe tell her fiance that SHE DOESNT WANT HIM, wedding off.
2006-08-07 00:08:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell
u love each other man.Just don't care,go ahead,
take her away with u.Just run.
When people are in luv, no one can stop them.
If her parents luv her, and your's luv u,they sure will call u back and get u married, else u should prefer a romantic adventure.
2006-08-07 00:06:20 · answer #10 · answered by Jitz B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋