i find it very hard to trust people due to previous relationships (1 in particular) and i am currently with someone new.Everything is going ok at the moment but he has told me that he didn't treat his last g.friend well at all as he used to cheat quite alot on her? his relationship with her ended about 5 years ago and led the single life up until he met me.He assures me that he will not hurt me and he has now grown up but i am petrified of having my heart broken yet again as i don't think i could cope a 2nd time around.Infact i am so scared i keep having dreams about it and trouble sleeping! I am falling for him more and more everyday.What shall i do?
2006-08-06 23:12:23 · 16 answers · asked by linzay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the fundamental part of a stable relationship is trust. You have been so hurt in the past that you find this aspect of a relationship hard. He will have to earn your trust and prove to you that he has changed his ways. I am sure that in time if it was meant to be he will prove this to you. He has to understand how much damage your x did to you, and that you are insecure. I hope things work out for you.good luck
2006-08-06 23:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by doodlepol 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
firstly I would say - stop living in constant fear.
relax and think positive .... by living in this fear that he will break your heart, you are taking out all the fun and enjoyment that you could possibly get out of the relationship.
you are forgetting to live in the present because you are continously worried about what is going to happen next ? how will you bond with him, learn about him, his likes/dislikes if there is a black cloud on your head all the time ?
i would advise you that you just need to trust him, and let him know that you trust him and he better not betray you.... the communication between you two should be honest and open...
talk to him, tell him that if he ever does anything that he shouldnt have done - he should tell you straight away because thats what you prefer...
dont be scared that every guy will hurt you - or you will never settle in a relationship. on the other hand - dont lean too much on your relationship - its not the singlemost thing in your life - stand up for yourself whenever you need to !
good luck.
:)
2006-08-07 07:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by GorGeous_Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out why he cheated last time. If sex doesn't mean anything to him (as in sex is just sex), then it's likely he'll cheat again I'm afraid.
Only you can decide if you think he's trustworthy or not. If you do want to trust him, you need to put the past behind you and move on.
He isn't your ex boyfriend and you're not his ex girlfriend. It's a completely new relationship and you should give it a chance rather than judge it on the past.
If he hurts you or cheats on you, then it means it wasn't meant to be. It might feel like the end of the world, but it isn't. It just wasn't meant to be.
2006-08-07 06:20:35 · answer #3 · answered by Wafflebox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear,i'm almost in the same situation as you,i also find it hard to trust guys particularly and now i'm with a new guys as well,he also made such promises like he won't hurt me,he'll loves me always ,etc. I,personally don't really trust him 100%, my previous relationships that i had it ages ago,also made lots of promises that at the end they never kept it. Now,me n my bf are thinking of breaking up coz he didn't keep his promise,we've been out for only 2 months and he had already made several things that irritates me. I found that those guys who made such promises are liar!.So,honestly,u can trust him but please don't trust him 100%,just remember don't give fully urself to him and please don't expect him too much...Just get on with ur life and keep focus on urself
2006-08-07 06:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not put yourself again in the same type of boat , you will not be happy at all with this man .Better find a person with clean back ground , spend some time , before taking big step find out his liking / disliking .
2006-08-07 06:19:20 · answer #5 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the decision is yours to make, however if he did it once he can and may do it again. rather save yourself the pain and heartache. there are many other guys out there that will be more worthy of your love. You should know that relationships are always rosy in the beginningbut never stay that way. sooner or later he will go back to his old habbits.
2006-08-07 06:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by buttercup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting hurt is a facft of life. You have to decide on if you love him enough to take him on trust. I knew my husband 28 days when we got married, we have been married 38 years. It is all about trust and love.
2006-08-07 06:27:04 · answer #7 · answered by youngalien47 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is risk. Love is much more than the first flush of lust. If its worth it you have to work at it . And love working at it . If you know what your worth. Then you will only except the things worthy of yourself. And except nothing else.
2006-08-07 07:18:00 · answer #8 · answered by angmidcasmin2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to go for it.Twice I have come back from similar experience,both times i said never again! Now been married for 22 years.Be strong & go with your "womans intuition"
2006-08-07 06:20:28 · answer #9 · answered by Martintheveg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, i think you have enough answers here already, what more can i say! trust him, fall in love but don't fall too hard! don't toooooooooooooo involved emotionally, else, you'd come back here asking what to do next, after you'r disappointed... i don't want that either!
2006-08-07 07:26:50 · answer #10 · answered by Kheme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋