( k this is kind of long, sorry)
so i have only been with my boyfriend for almost 2 months and yesterday he told me he loves me but to ME it didnt sound like he meant it at all ( he said it kind of casually) and i wanted it to be so different and special, so i was kind of disapointed and i didnt say it back.. i;m not even sure if i really LOVE him yet. is this normal? people tell me when you find the "one" you love him from the minute you meet him. i dont know if this is true or whatever but i feel kind of bad because i didnt say it back. what do i doooo?
2006-08-06 21:23:47 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
believe it or not, I think you did the right thing!
A lot of times people in a relationship will utter the words "I love you" even when they aren't sure if they mean it, because they don't want to hurt the feelings of the other person. That's actually a big mistake! If you don't mean it, you shouldn't say it. If you are not sure you mean it, you shouldn't say it. So you did the right thing.
Maybe you can talk to him about it, and tell him you really like him, really glad to be with him, but you're still getting to know him and aren't totally sure if you are in love or not.
It sorta sounds like you are in love, and it sorta doesn't. It sounds like you were in love, hoping you two would say you love each other in a certain way (you fantasized about that, right?) But when he didn't do it the way you hoped, it was a let down, and so it doesn't seem like you are in love with him very much.
Maybe in time you will be, or maybe you'll get bored with him and move on. Good luck no matter what you do!
Oh By the way!! It's TOTALLY NORMAL to be unsure if you love someone!!
2006-08-06 21:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 2⤋
You do NOT know the moment you meet them. That is just infatuation and lust. He could really mean it and was just saying it casually because he was scared. If you are not sure if you love him yet, don't tell him. You will know when the timing is right. There is no rush. I have been in love twice and they were both different. With the first one, I knew after about a month. With the second one, it took me about ten months to be sure. (Kind of long I know, but a lot of drama happened in that time.) The ironic part is that I think I actually loved the second one way more, even though it took me much longer to be sure. It's better to be sure than to rush into these things.
2006-08-07 04:30:51 · answer #2 · answered by Erin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by not saying it back if you didn't mean it. And from the sound of it, I don't think your boyfriend meant it either. Maybe he only said it because he felt he should, the same way you should bring a girl flowers and so on.
Now, you don't neccessarily love the person you will spend your life with right away, sometimes it builds over time. But I will tell you this for certain: when love comes, you will NEVER question yourself if it is love. You'll just feel it... in your heart, your soul, every fibre of your being. If it is true love, you will never be in doubt. I promise.
For now, I don't think I would call it love between you and your boyfriend. But over time, who knows? I just hope he knows how important those three words are - "I love you" - he shouldn't throw them around so carelessly. I wish you both the best :)
2006-08-07 04:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by La 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If ya don't feel like saying it, then don't say it. Explain to him what's going on inside your head so that he gets the rational behind it. That way, he's not just making up his own stories in his head and getting upset with you for no reason. You shouldn't feel bad about what you don't feel. It's better to be honest in the beginning than creating this relationship from something that may not be true.
If or when you love someone, I don't know you'll know the first time you meet. I know it didn't happen that way for me. As I got to know more about him and admired and respected him for the man that he is and is becoming, looking into his eyes... i knew. It's a gut instinct. You'll just know. If you're still questioning, maybe you don't. And that's okay. You don't have to love every guy that comes into your life.
best wishes to you.
2006-08-07 04:44:09 · answer #4 · answered by Parkster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well all i can say is just keep going out with him it is still to early to say that you love someone give it two more month's & if you still do not love him then tell him how you feel as you do not want to keep it going if there is not a mutual feeling between you.
2006-08-07 04:31:47 · answer #5 · answered by scarlet pimpernell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be with him till somedays you find out that you don't like him
2006-08-07 04:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by daniUm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya all its normal.......wait few for days patiently, things will get clear auto.
2006-08-07 04:30:07 · answer #7 · answered by Rohit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey!i've the same problem but this guys comes only for a while so its up to u...
2006-08-07 04:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by nabila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask ur heart wen u r calm
2006-08-07 04:36:34 · answer #9 · answered by annmaria1976 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋