2006-08-06 20:28:56 · 17 answers · asked by pathumbert2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Nothing, live your life the best you can. If conflicts arise due to your own doing, apologize and move on. AS for their issues with each other, they are grown and they can handle/fix the issues themselves
2006-08-06 20:33:14 · answer #1 · answered by alexandria h 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
They may be grown up but I've found this book an invaluable resource, not only for my children but in my relationships in general. It's really about how to avoid conflict and turf wars and can be applied to any situation.
"Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
See if your library has it. I'm confident you'll see that you don't need to be part of turf wars between you and your grown kids.
2006-08-07 03:35:23 · answer #2 · answered by BeamMeUpMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the funeral home you dealt with following your husband's death and ask them for the names of local grief counselors or grief support groups. If you and the three children want to solve these problems you should all go together to see one counselor. Is there is minister or pastoral counseling service in your area that may be able to help. Sometimes Visiting Nurses Associations and Hospices have grief counselors available to families. If you do nothing then the conflicts will continue. If they are legal conflicts, everyone should go see a lawyer together to figure this out.
2006-08-07 03:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've always found the best way to get to the root of a problem is to talk about it. Sit the 3 kids down with you and say 'right, lets get this in the open' As you may be able to appreciate, life is far too short to hold grudges or have problems with a person, you never know which words are going to be your last with that person.
2006-08-07 03:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by darkness_returns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there im sorry for youre loss its a really hard time for you,but time does heal and youre happy memories will come to you ,as for the lot that are fighting they are all adults if they want to fall out with each other let them get on with it ,i have 2 grown up children and believe me if they fall out they know that im not going to get involved at any point they are big enough to sort it out as for them having conflicts with you well what ever they are falling out with you over they should take a step back and think what you are going through and if they still want to argue then stop lettng them start ......tell them look if youre only phoning or turning up at my door to argue you have wasted you time as im not listening and put the phone down or close the door in there face they will get the shock of there life and it will make them stop and think it might take a few times to get it through there brain cells that you are not putting up with this anymore but trust me it does work ohhh and if they say there not going to come back again ......they are lying they will as they are trying to make you feel guilty dont take there nonsence you have been through a lot and you need time to heal and come to terms with things .....take care xx
2006-08-07 03:41:55 · answer #5 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have brought a new mom for them and they are 3 grown children they just need time to know about each other
2006-08-07 03:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by net_surfer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with the three of them in counseling. That would be a safe place to resolve your issues. Don't try to settle problems with property or anything regarding your late husband until you have resolved the issues with your children. I'm so sorry for your loss!
2006-08-07 03:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by jen12121980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write them a letter. being kind and not making them definsive.
Say to them that Dad's death has shown us that life is short and we never know how long we have to live on this earth. We are faimly and lets please let go of things that keep the family from being unified. Years and years of resentment and arguing and taking sides will just split up the family more.
Suggest a time of making peace and if they can't. Ask them to not involve you in their constant squables.
2006-08-07 03:38:53 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of yourself first. Be good to you and treat yourself with the love, respect and nurturing you deserve. As you heal, you will find you have more to give others. Set fair boundaries to allow the others to resolve their own conflicts.
2006-08-07 03:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I would step away from the drama. You don't need their crap, your husband just died. Get some grief counseling, it helped me when my 2 cousins died. The counselor can probably help you with the other stuff with your kids. Good luck and I'm very sorry for your loss.
2006-08-07 03:33:31 · answer #10 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋