I'm having trouble letting go, even while I know I have no choice but to do so. I still have other children at home and a family to protect. I need some practical suggestions on how to get over the sadness. And yes, I am old enough to know that time lessens the pain, but in the meantime I need help for myself, as well as for the rest of the family.
2006-08-06 19:51:40 · 18 answers · asked by Celeste A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh how I know how you feel. I have a very ungrateful adult child that causes me alot of grief. She is spiteful, vindictive, and down right mean.
And on top of that, I am raising my grand daughter ( her daughter) because she did not want to stop running around and be a mother.
She only comes around when she needs or wants something.
Ive been dealing with it for years and it never stops.
The pain does not go away but yes it lessens as time goes by.
The only thing you can do is to put your time and energy into the rest of your family.
And being able to talk to someone about it, someone to vent to, someone who will listen without judging.
And pray, and pray, and pray
2006-08-13 17:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
How do you deal with the pain inflicted by ungrateful adult children? P.S. Haven't seen her in over a year
I'm having trouble letting go, even while I know I have no choice but to do so. I still have other children at home and a family to protect. I need some practical suggestions on how to get over the sadness. And yes, I am old enough to know that time lessens the pain, but in the meantime I need...
2015-08-10 10:44:22 · answer #2 · answered by Rena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think inflicting pain is really a good way to teach children...but then again, a lot of these "modern" ideas about parenting are pretty stupid too. For example, some lady recently said that her way of punishing her children was to make them run laps. Well, what is that going to teach the child? To hate exercise, that's what. When the child grows older, he or she will not want to exercise because he or she will associate it with being punished. Other people say you should load on the chores. That is just going to teach them to hate doing work around the house, which is a bad thing because they are going to have to do that a lot one day, so it's best if they don't have such bad opinions of it. Time out? That will just teach them to hate being alone. It's important to be able to be alone and not be miserable, because adults are alone relatively often. When you punish a child, I think you need to make sure that what you are doing isn't inadvertently "teaching" the child something, and making them form associations that will be harmful to them later. I also think that the BEST thing is if you raise a child in such a way so that you can use reason to make them understand why what they did was wrong...but, is that really going to work with a 4 year old??? It's a tricky issue, all things considered. Luckily I don't have to deal with this yet since I have no kids.
2016-03-16 06:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ungrateful Adult Children
2016-11-01 11:22:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother had this problem and I am answering your question because she would want me to. So here goes...
One child didn't speak too her for 12 years. Unfortunately, it took the demise of our father and pending divorce of my sister to bring them back together. I don't have the answers here as it was long arm circumstances that changed it back and all was fine...like it never happened. Amazing, huh?
Mom had problems with a couple of her other children too but I do believe it was because her children had Ozzie and Harriett expectations of her she could not meet and vice versa. She died not speaking to two of them but by then she had ceased caring. Her emotions went from heartache, disbelief, confusion then to benign malevolence. By the time she lay dying she had ceased caring...she didn't understand them, nor they her. As for them, I believe they had a chip on their shoulder... copped an attitude about her...were downright ungratful. She left them plenty and I never heard a word of kindness or appreciation from any them...I don't know...families...boy, they really can't stink sometimes.
Hang in there...focus on the remaining children. She/he too may return. Don't wait around for it....it's best they fix things themselves, if they ever do. Don't plan on it any time soon but...
Good luck.
2006-08-13 17:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
One thing for sure, is that you must move on with your life. You have done all you can to make her who she is today. You have your memories and she has her life. Fear not, for she will learn the meaning of appreciation sooner or later. What you must do is consider your family and all that you have left at this time.
Its funny how kids act, once they grow up and leave. They always think they have all the answers for all the problems in the world. You and I know that is not sooooo! In time she will learn about your love and how much she needs it. Don't beg, hold your head up high and remember, if love is still there she will return! Thanks for asking and Aloha from Hawaii
2006-08-14 19:49:11 · answer #6 · answered by rechsteiner1986 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you like you i have not seen my two sons for over 6 years please never give up hope that keeps me going.with out hope i think i would have gave my life up by now . you have to keep your family to gather and your self well for the day you all get back to gather.good luck and may god be with you.
2006-08-14 02:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by donnasinger@btinternet.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a way to write to her? You might not know where she is, but maybe one of the other children does. In the letter, share how you are missing her. Remind her of how sweet she was as a little girl and how you loved caring for her. Tell her your life is not complete without her in it.
Best wishes from a grandma-aged person
2006-08-14 12:27:29 · answer #8 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
probably your commitment level is a little high that the expectation level is also high. as a banyan tree grows and the branches fall and touch the floor it is better to cut off the connectivity to make it an individual tree. the umblical chord support is only to a certain extent. and the hangover is not the part of one's living. responsibility is limited to the extent your commitment is also limited. ultimately, expect not fort thou shalt not be disappointed!!
2006-08-13 23:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by sankaran c 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well counseling helps...it really does, been there done that. but too always leave the door open and even though your child is acting this way does not mean you have too also...even though our children leave the nest...we are still setting examples for them...try to make contact, try to find that child...let that child know you love them and want them to know the door is always open for communication...whatever has happened should be put aside...if that child has done something to make you angry you have to let it go...you are the parent, that's what we do...and if you did something to cause the child to be apart from your life...you have to step in and make up...it's okay for the two of you to not agree on something or fight about something...but just like with your best friend or spouse you always go to bed on a good note, don't leave mad. find the child and make peace
2006-08-06 20:02:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋