We've been togeather for 71/2 years, engaged for 1 year and just finished building our second home. i feell i'm at that stage in my life to be a mother but he doesn't understand. How can i tell him what i want or get him to understand without him getting worked up overit.
please help
2006-08-06 19:46:59 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If he doesn't want a kid yet, there's not much you can do, unless you want to be deceitful and go off your birth control without telling him or something like that. But I wouldn't recommend it.
Unfortunately when it comes to couples where one wants a kid, and the other doesn't, the one who doesn't usually wins.
Talk to him seriously and ask him why he feels he's not ready for one yet. Once you get to the root of his hesitations, it's easier to fix them so that you both can come to an agreement. He maybe doesn't feel ready to be a father, or maybe he's worried about his relationship with you changing, there's a million reasons guys start to worry about having kids. Just talk to him. But when you talk, don't talk about what you want. That'll just push him away further. Talk to him about what he wants, so you can understand why he feels the way he does.
2006-08-06 20:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
"How can i tell him what i want or get him to understand without him getting worked up overit."
Let's reverse that question for you to understand.
How can he tell you what he wants or get you to understand with out you getting worked up?
Same thing girl.
He isn't ready. Let that be. It is wrong to pressure to have a child with him when he isn't ready for that yet. Not even married yet. Get married and settled first. Just built second home, that is a lot of financial and a lot of work to do.
Discuss a "time frame" where you two might decide to try.
communicate it. But don't try to force it upon him by trying to find ways for him to understand.
He understands already. He knows you want a child. However, takes two to understand eachother for something to work. You need to understand his reasonings too.
2006-08-06 23:37:42 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you both are not getting any younger, you need to start now, you want to be pregnant. My husband and I have been together for 3 yrs, I am only 20 and I am happy we both made the choice to have baby. My son is now 5 wks, and my husband asked me tonight, are you glad we have our son, I said YES, I am 20 and I don't want to be any older having my child because when my son is 20 I'll be 40 and to me thats along time away but, when you have a child it flys right by!!
2006-08-06 20:17:56 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not ready. I wouldn't force it upon him. It is okay to discuss to find out his ultimate goals on having a family, at what age he sees himself being a father and so on. I wouldn't pressure him though. That wouldn't be the right approach.
2006-08-06 22:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by locowherto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not ready for a kid. Isn't anything you can do to make him ready. Most likely it is cause he likes things the way they are and doesn't want a rug rat messing that up.
2006-08-06 19:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋