would i have to grow up to fast when dateing a guy that is 11 years older than me, at the age of 20?

Question

i am 20 years old and the guy that i am in a relationship with is ten almost 11 years older than me. i like being in the relationship and being with him, but i do fear that i will have to grow up and i won't be able to have fun in these fun years to come when being with some one that is almost ready to settle down. i don't feel that i am ready to settle down and he understands that, but i don't want to miss the possible fun in my future by being with him. would i have to grow up to fast be being with him?

Answer 1

oh i thought he was the 20 year old when i read your question, lol. nah you dont hafta mature, dont ruin your college years over a guy. do stupid **** in college, thats wut it is all about

Answer 2

What's wrong with settling down? And who says you can't have fun?

Frankly, the single 20's aren't all they're cracked up to be. You don't have the time or money to have that much fun anway. You don't know what you want to do with the money if you had it; you don't usually know what you're passionate about; In my opinion, the 20's are over-rated.

Settling down and having a family, however...

Those are the years people start raising kids, seeing their children walk for the first time and speak their first words. Those are the years spent camping with the family out in the mountains during the summer, where the kids swim in the lake and the bbq is grilling freshly caught trout, where you can sit back and smile a it all and feel content.

Fun is one thing. Contentment is another.

But let's turn it around and look at it from the other point of view:

Let's say you're 30 and you just now have a child and settle down. You spent your 20's partying, traveling, staying in hostels, backpacking across Europe, getting by and having a blast, sometimes remembering what you did the night before and sometimes not. Now, looking down at your new-born, might you wish you had settled down when you were 20?

You could have known this child of yours for 10 years alread. She'd have learned to speak, learned to walk, to talk by now. But now you'll have to wait 10 years to catch up to what could have been...

Wouldn't you feel you had missed out?

Answer 3

Yes! Even if you two have tons in common, there will always be that 11 years between you. When you are in your 20's you want to have fun and do all kinds of cool stuff that you won't get to don once you get older because family and children take precedence in your life. I honestly think you would regret giving your 20's to a guy who is on a different level than you emotionally, physically ect. I actually married a man 10 years older than me and at first it didn't matter at all, but then we realized that there were some problems in what we both wanted. Plus, I was never able to bond with his friends because they all had kids and were going to PTA meetings and I was still interested in going to clubs. I say no way.

Answer 4

take it from me. my hubby and i are 13 years apart. sure at first its good but in the long run it wasnt. age does matter if i would have known what i do now. I would have never dated any that was 5 years older then me. they want u to settle down n there isnt that much in common. I wouldnt get to serious. have fun thats what being young is all about.

Answer 5

If fun means going out with friends have a good time and not cheat. then no I think he may be mature enough to know you want to go out and do things hell he may want to join you. settling down doesn't mean growing up. If you havebn't grown up by now then you should end the relationship he doesn't need a child to take of. Have fun with friends be faith to him and things will work out in the long run. Don't let him daddy you though.

Answer 6

I don't think u would need to grow up. He should understand that you're 20. But what do i know, i'm 13!

Answer 7

Is your brother gay. cuz your asserting that your brother is a 11 year previous and dating a 14 year previous boy. they're the same intercourse... yet its ok if he's gay.. And umma lil unusual.

Answer 8

I would suggest to you to just make sure you go out with friends and have good times with them. I think that if you have found someone you love then be with them but don't give up yourself for them. Take it slow and just take life one day at time.

Answer 9

if you both are in so much love like you are saying you are..... then these "fun times" you continue to speak over and over about would be with him. re-think your relationship. do you REALLY think you want to be in it? if so then no you dont have to turn 30 over night. he should be loving you for you.