I am in love with my girlfriend. She is 21, I am 27. She is caucasian, I am black.
I met her when she was 5 months pregnant with her son. Her son is now 5 months old, almost 6 months old.
I really love this woman and have never felt so close to a person who is not blood related to me. I also really love her son. I was there for him since the day he was born.
What I am confused about is that she's a single mother, and her son's father has nothing to do with him. I am wondering if it is okay to be in her and his life when he doesn't have a father, and when she just went through so much alone.
Is she ready for a commitment after what happened? Does she love me?
2006-08-06 19:04:27 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Also, I really love her son and feel like he is my own. I am afraid to tell her this because she might think i'm weird and tell me not to think i'm his father because i'm not.
Another big issue is that her son is 100% white like her. Is it weird if he will be raised by an african american man? What will he think? What will other people think? I am just afraid of what my girlfriend might think, and what other people will think in the future. I want everything to be normal, and natural. What should I do? Is it weird that I love her and her son SO much?
2006-08-06 19:06:49 · update #1
I love you Jace. I know you love me, and I love you too. You know this is one of my favorite sites, silly silly you. heh!
I love you... We'll talk about this tomorrow. You know August loves you, and I know you love August. You are his father. :-)
Don't be afraid to talk to me, and don't be afraid of your feelings!
2006-08-09 21:12:16 · answer #1 · answered by Stella 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My boss is black and is getting married to the woman of his dreams, who happens to be a white single mom with a six year old (also white) daughter. No one I know looks down upon it, if they do, it is their problem.
I think your gf understands you care for them and have no issues with race since you've been around this long and probably show them both you care all the time. But why ask us? Talk to her. Don't come on too strong, just say, I love you and your son. If you feel the same way, I would be glad to spend the rest of my life with you two.
Keep in mind, she is young. She might not be as ready as you are to settle down. Maybe part of you just wants a family and here is the perfect opportunity for one. Sure, you are providing a lot and you love them, but if she's not ready to settle down or trust someone else yet, don't push her and don't be hurt either.
Talk to her about this. It sounds like there might be more going on. How does she respond to you two? She will let you know if she's comfortable with you in her life this much.
Good luck.
2006-08-07 02:13:51 · answer #2 · answered by ear help! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow...you a man! there's not many out there...you one of the few.
first of all..she is your girl friend...so..I would suggest you be open and honest with her..women go for honesty! it's the number one key to most women. color has nothing to do with it. You love her then and you love her now...obviously she loves you...she's your girlfriend...right? who cares what other think, they are not the ones in love with you or her...trying to please others outside the relationship can only cause the relationship problems...she is a single mother...there is nothing wrong with a single mother moving on to a new relationship...people do it all the time...what ever happened to the man she had the baby with obviously didn't work out...she is entitled to love just as anybody else is...I think it is MORE than OK to be in both their lives....If this relationship continues I would make sure that the son understood later in life that you are not his biological father...but you are a daddy in ever other way...people adopt kids all the time...
you sound like a great person who has a lot of love...just be honest and open..Let her know you want to step up to the plate...you want to be in THEIR lives....I sure hope things work out!
2006-08-07 02:26:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just what she needs, a good MAN and not a looser but, If your unsure, no one on Yahoo answers can give you a real answer not knowing your g/f ... I say your best bet is to talk to her if your that much in love with her. What's the worse that can happen she' says i'm not sure yet and give her time ,,, I highly doubt she'll say i never want to see you again. since you've seen her through some hard times......... I hope you get her Good Luck
2006-08-07 02:12:16 · answer #4 · answered by manda 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your fine honey, her son needs a male in his life, is doesn't matter if he is only 5 months he needs more then just his mother. Thats why it takes two to make a baby and raise him or her. For sure let her know how you feel, its fine if they are white and your black, not that big of a deal. Its normal very normal.
2006-08-07 03:07:16 · answer #5 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well does she like mind ur race cuz if she doesnt that takes care of the different race u guys have. Then you could tell her how u feel about her and ask whats her feeling about u? probably u should give her some time to think this through... and im sure she'll say yes!!!! GOOD LUCK =)
2006-08-07 02:14:09 · answer #6 · answered by dragonrider 77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its normal. its good. its a very good thing. if youve been with her for almost a year then why would she disagree to you acting like a father to this child if youve been around to help raise him then you practically are his father as far as anyone is concerned. pay no attention to what he or other people might think. i doubt people would care. and good luck
2006-08-07 02:11:07 · answer #7 · answered by Leeloo Dallas Multipass 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2006-08-07 02:10:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋