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I have gone the distance with this kid, bought her a car, gave her a place to live when her Dad kicked her out. Seen her through court and paid for it when her dad did nothing.
She lies to me all the time, does not pay her bills and last night was the straw that broke the camels back. She went to her Dad's house for dinner and while she was there started crap about things at my house. She loves to get a dig in on her sister, and took the oppurtunitiy to lie about things I did not say about about her sister.

I called her on it and she turned it into bigger lies.
I told her if she wants to talk crap with her dad she can go live with him. Well she went in a hurry and he, after months of dissing her and not helping with court took her in and is taking her side. Was I wrong or should I put up with her contstant lies and racking up bills she does not pay? Also should I take the car back she never paid a dime toward even though she signed a contract for 50 bucks a month payment?

2006-08-06 18:56:48 · 10 answers · asked by JC 2 in Family & Relationships Family

10 answers

Sounds like quite a dysfunctional little unit you got going on there!

In all seriousness though - 20 is more than old enough to take responsibility for her own actions, pay her own bills and stand on her own two feet.

It sounds like she would be happier out of your home and you would be happoier with her out of your home so it may be a win / win situation.

Maybe the separation will make you both appreciate each other more and it will bring you closer together in the long run

2006-08-06 19:01:28 · answer #1 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 0 0

Been there done that. My son - 21 now - did similar things including getting arrested 12/31/06 for cocaine. He called me to bail him out and I told him to call his friends, he called me a *****. In short, he's doing great now. He has to go to jail in Sept. coming up and is scared to death.

You're doing the right thing. She may go lower in life and it's hard to watch. The tears and swollen eyes are definitely earned. You're a good mom. Let her dad take over and when they need anything, make the answer as long as you can....NO! You'll start feeling better the more you stand your ground. Who cares if she gets pissed. You're right. If she makes a 360, then be there for her with caution.

I feel for you and you have my support. The car?.......I don't know, I didn't take his. If you do, then you could find yourself feeling guilty sometimes if she needs a ride somewhere and you have to tell her no. Don't pay the gas or insurance. If it's in your name, take it out so that if she gets in a wreck then they can't come after you. Write the $50 off, you'll never get it.

When daddy's place blows up, then she'll try and manipulate her way back to you. TELL HER NO!!!!!! Being in a low part of one's life can sometimes help them see how good they really had it. Don't forget to pray if you have a belief.

Good Luck

2006-08-07 02:17:35 · answer #2 · answered by CA Girl 2 · 0 0

You absoulutely did the right thing! At age 20 she should have already been working and carrying her own weight.
As long as you let her control your life, she will continue to do so.
You have done your part, now the rest is up to her. Stand your ground.
YES! Take the car back. A great way to show her you are serious.

2006-08-07 02:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 0 0

Sounds like she needs a little push out of the nest. Let your ex put up with her crap for a while.....you and he will be agreeing by Christmas. I know your mad and I would be too. Unless that car is her only way to work, I would take it. She is going to have to learn to take care of herself, especially if she treats the people willing to help her like crap. Be strong mom. Peace to you from Frogspeaceflower.

2006-08-07 02:07:11 · answer #4 · answered by frogspeaceflower 4 · 0 0

People, not matter who you are, never respect anything that comes easy. You are being easy on your daughter and therefore will not be respected. By kicking her out, you are demanding respect which you have more than every right to. Its obviously something she needs to learn and by doing this, you are offering her the lesson in the easiest way she can get it. If you don't, the people that will teach her are the cops, prison guards, and people prone to belligerance in the community and not one of them will be as understanding as you.

2006-08-07 02:35:24 · answer #5 · answered by Johnny Canuck 4 · 0 0

It was not wrong to kick her out, I'm 23 and my parents "tough love" over the last few years has taught me to be responsible. If she's smart, she'll come around.

2006-08-07 02:17:12 · answer #6 · answered by M N 5 · 0 0

I think you and your ex-husband need to work together on this one. It's important at 20 to be given the tools to make it in the world, and to be healthy person as well.

2006-08-07 02:11:42 · answer #7 · answered by SirEddieCook 3 · 0 0

I kicked my 20 year out for chronic lying about this boy paying for her glass and then telling me she pay for a BOOK that cost $200.00.

2014-08-28 15:06:29 · answer #8 · answered by Sheila 1 · 0 0

Sounds like she's playing you both. If you bought the car, and it's in your name, by all means retrieve it. She's old enough to take care of herself. Stop coddling her. If she's all that you say she is, he will see it sooner or later. If he doesnt, that's his problem, not yours.

2006-08-07 02:17:05 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0 0

She's 20 years old - you did nothing wrong.

2006-08-07 02:01:35 · answer #10 · answered by sugarlovenugget 3 · 0 0

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