My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now and we have been doing a long distance relationship that entire time. I have visited him twice for a month each time. He's 19 going on 20 this September and I'm 17 going on 18 in Novemeber. Things have come up where he can move in where I am and he's not sure what he wants to do. He lives with his mom and his mom is controlling, and he can't choose whether he wants to be with me or stay with his mom. What should I do? I made it where it was his decision on whatever he chooses, but I'm scared that he is going to choose his mom. I don't know what I should do. Any suggestions?
2006-08-06 18:17:00 · 28 answers · asked by Missy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
u have to accept what he decides
2006-08-06 18:19:47 · answer #1 · answered by manyhartz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were smart to make it his decision. You should not worry about it too much either way. If he decides to live with you, then you'll be happy to see him all the time. Since you are both still young, it's not a bad thing if he stays with his mom either. When you're living with someone and you get in a bad fight or break up, it can cause big problems. It's really easier for a relationship to grow when you have your own space.
2006-08-07 01:20:59 · answer #2 · answered by pamgissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Missy, he's not old enough to really know what he wants, he feels unable to break away from the dependabilty of the home life that he's always known. and trying to force the issue may backfire on you. enjoy for the time being that you are young and in love, but if you try to force a choice between his mom and you at his young age, he will most likely either side with his mom, for security, and to keep from hurting her feelings or he will come to you and then flip flop back to her esspecially if they have a good relatinship right now. because you are his girlfriend for now but she will always be his mom.
2006-08-07 01:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by Timothy C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's pretty much nothing you can do. All you can do is hope that he chooses to stay with you, but its a decision he has to come to terms with on his own. You can't force him to make a choose you because if he does and ends up regretting it , it can harm your relationship. So just let him follow his heart. I hope everything works out :)
2006-08-07 01:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by GC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should focus on going to college. You should not marry a man that has not graduated from college either. He will be a distant memory. You need to move on and so does he as both of your lives have not really started yet and you are to young for such a serious relationship.
2006-08-07 01:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by leaving it up to him. Whatever his decision, don't read too much into it. There are many variables at work in a decision like that. If there are no major problems in your relationship outside of this conundrum, don't sweat it.
2006-08-07 01:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by dfhggd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all, are u sure u r ready 2 move in with a guy? only after dating 4 a year???? no offense, but i think its akward 4 him to live with his mom.... its ok if he chooses his mom, just keep staying steady and he mite grow into the fact that its good to move out with u. if he luvs his mom so much he mite stay with her. but if u have a stronger bond with him, he mite choose u.
2006-08-07 01:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by free.the.roaches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't choose between you and his mom....giving up one love for the other is never right....If he stays could u move to be with him in November? Be strong. things have a way of working out...
2006-08-07 01:23:25 · answer #8 · answered by Shonda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your only 17, you have more living to do... do you really want to be tied down by having a live in byfriend... i would suggest you accept whatever he choses...and if you love him thats just what you will do... how do you know he isnt cheating on you i mean hes older, lives away from you.... what do you really want, i think having a nicwe long talk would be good... find out what he wants to do with his life, if he sees a future for you both... and so on..that will help... let him make the choice,and stand behind him no matter what.
2006-08-07 01:23:01 · answer #9 · answered by ♥PrEcIoUs♥DaYdReAmEr♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should chose his mother. Living with you, even in the same house as your parents, is dumb. Both of you are only starting your lives. Both of you need to concentrate on your chosen careers. There is plenty of time for other entanglements. You still have seven years before you're an adult, he has ten years to go.
2006-08-07 01:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave this mess alone. Long distance relationships seldom if ever work, and when you have 2 'young people' struggling, the odds of it working are zero. If he cannot deal with his own mother, how on Earth will he deal with you in times of difficulty?
2006-08-07 01:21:37 · answer #11 · answered by NC_Pianist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋