My dad left when i was 8 yrs old....Should i forgive him?

Question

My father left when i was 8 years old..he would visit every once in awhile and then he started living with the women he met at a store while married to my mother...He just recently fled the state and Now he dont see him at all...He has a bench warrant out for his arrest...He said that his son and daughter werent his but they were..he said that he would never hurt me..but he threatened to beat me..if i called the police when my mom told me to..Now im afraid that he will want to come back..and i've been thinking should i forgive him for cheated and beating on my mom and forgive him for leaving? should i forgive him for him saying my brother and sister werent his..? I havent seen him in 3 years..If and when he goes to prison..(cuz thats were he's going) What should i say to him...or tell him

Answer 1

Your father has made a mess of his life. He is also human. There is nothing wrong with loving him because he is your father but you don't have to respect him for the person he is. Anyone can have children. How they treat them afterwards determines whether they are a good person, a good mother or father. He cheated on your mother, has a history of lieing, threatened you, denied his other children as their father.

Be real about your situation. Your father has done a lot of bad things. Just never be fooled into thinking he's something that he's not. He is what he is and that's type of biological father you've been dealt in life.

No matter how many times he may say he loves you or is getting his act together, learn from the life he's led so far and the consequences he will have to face once he's caught.

You can choose to forgive him, but don't set yourself up to be upset and hurt if he disappoints you again. Make sure you focus on you and become the best you can be in life.

Answer 2

When you forgive someone it helps you more than it helps them. Alllllll of the time that you spend being mad at someone, they couldn't care less. It is YOU who carry that around in your heart everyday. So by forgiving him, you will release a little bit of your heart that has been tied down so long with hate. You will feel a lot better, it may not change a damn thing but, we just have to learn to accept and live with the people and things that we cannot change. Good Luck!

Answer 3

It is important, regardless of whether he wants to be forgiven or not, regardless of whether you are or are not his, regardless - I am not fully privvy to the relationship you had with him, but I suspect this will grow in you and fester - Regardless of whether you tell him or not, you must forgive him, to forgive yourself. For how your father treated you - it wasn't your fault, and why he left, wasn't your fault either.

Also, holding a grudge against someone like that is no way to live. "Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again." - Dag Hammarskjold, the second secretary-general of the United Nations said that. He was correct.

Answer 4

You need to forgive your father...
not for his sake but for yours.
He has already wasted enough of your precious time, because of hurtful things he has said and done to both you and your family.

Take the negative energy that you have been wasting on him, and turn it into something postive and constructive for yourself. Forgive him, forget him, and move forward.
If he wants to communicate with you, then let him make the first move. After all, he's supposed to be the adult and the parent.

Good Luck~*

Answer 5

You can forgive him, but for your own safety, it is probably best at this point to stay away.

Answer 6

Forgive him that way you can heal but don't forget.Tell him what you feel.

Answer 7

tell him that he doesn't deserve you guys, it's wrong for him to deny you like that