I've had a casual sex type of relationship with a guy for over a year now.When we met, we let each other know that we didn't want anything serious at the moment because we both had just gotten out of a long term relationship. Well since then we've gone through alot together. We've had our ups and downs just like a couple, mainly jealously issues, but we get along really well. I can tell he's a little insecure at some things. I can also tell that it's hard for him to show his feelings, but when he does he's really sweet. I also have to say that he sorta has a big ego, probably from when he played pro ball, so again, it's hard for him to show his emotional side. He's in his early 30's. I want to be patient with him, because he seems to like to take things slow, which is ok. But how long should I hold out for him? What would you think he thinks of me after seeing him continuously about every week for over a year? Does any guy out there have a big ego or @least know what I'm talking about?
2006-08-06 18:03:06 · 26 answers · asked by feisty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have you read the book "He is just not into you?" You may want to! It is written by the same author of Sex in The City!
2006-08-14 08:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by Femme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man this Is a big issue,..
he's not exactly gonna commit because you guys were having sex casually from the beginning,and if he wanted to be with you he would, despite his ego or anything else,and it seems that there may be deeper issues because youre covering up everything with the fact that he wants to take things slow, youre past the slow stage ok and you did that from the beginning cuz u started having sex first.
he's in his early thirties im sure he knows what he wants,and u know what u want,you don't want indecisiveness and you don't want a guy who does not know if he wants YOU!
and guys live off of there EGOS!!
and when it comes to love there shouldn't be any egos getting in yhr way you've got to be selfless.!!
HOPE THAT HELPED!!
2006-08-06 18:17:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has already committed to you. Have you been exclusive for the year? It sounds like it. Have you ever talked about re-negotiating your casual relationship since you first agreed to the no commitment deal? He may not know your plan has changed. I know, I know... you're screaming "how could he not know?" But you are dealing with a man. Men are happy to leave things as they are unless compelled to change. It's possible he may not have even thought about it and is just enjoying the relationship.
He's an ex-pro, right? So just tell him it's time to re-negotiate. Tell him you are ready to commit and you need something from him. He'll say something like, "Yeah, okay". And you'll be set for another season. Too many analogies? Sorry. But really, just tell him you need more at this point. He'll agree and it will all be great!
2006-08-06 18:20:05 · answer #3 · answered by AK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really after it has been that long without an actual commitment it is kind of hard to have him commit. I was with a girl for 2 and a half years without a real commitment and when we tried to have the commitment it felt more like a chore than a want. ( the commitment). I would just have a talk with him and if you really want a commitment then let him know that. And if he's not ready for one than its really up to you what to do. But from my standpoint a year is long enough to know what your in a relationship for.
2006-08-06 18:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by supercop70669 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want a commitment, the concept of 'casual' and 'sex' don't fit together AT ALL. If you want to be special, you can't be 'available' continuously every week for over a year!
You can't turn a 'casual sex' relationship into a committed one. Ever.
Quit him now, so that you can start over with someone else. Maybe even start over with him! But don't go to bed with him next relationship; conduct it like a proper relationship so he can get a grip on his behavior and approach you correctly.
2006-08-14 18:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, this relationship that you're at right now means he's getting all the benefits of a relationship, none of the responsibilities. That is completely unfair to you but he's not going to commit because this is perfect for him! He gets everything he wants and no sane person would give that up willingly. If you want something to change, you gotta do something about it, not wait around for him to do it.
2006-08-14 11:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by bluntbabe74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take things slow, i don't know how many times i heard that phrase, but i will tell you, when i do, it usually is followed by me walking out the door, now as for his big ego and pro ball, i have met some people that played in the NHL and they are quite nice with their familes and not insecure.
does he show his feeling to his immediate family, maybe there might be a problem
2006-08-14 10:57:56 · answer #7 · answered by free2chat_tou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a guy like that will commit. But they have to loose their ego. If they never loose their ego.It will never be a serious commitment. I used to have a big ego. But an ego will never let you find true love. Because you love yourself more.
2006-08-06 18:08:00 · answer #8 · answered by lovely soul with insite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK you just gotta be yourself. You know, say what you're thinking and see what he says. So you like this guy, you're great together - and you want commitment. Does he even know this?
Cos you could tell him. OK not in a bunny boiler way, nothing heavy or weird - I mean, tell him gently. Say you know, I want to be with you, seriously, what do you say?
Then see what he says.
2006-08-14 11:18:11 · answer #9 · answered by sam r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to tell you this but you're going to be waiting forever. You already stated you and he started out as a casual sexual relationship...that's all you are to him. By the way, don't blame him, YOU made the decision to enter into a casual sexual relationship.
2006-08-13 22:32:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋