How to stop premarital sex...?

Question

I have been having premarital sex on and off with the father of my 1 yr old. It is against my beliefs and I KNOW it isnt helping my relationship with God...but I just cant help it. "The heart is willing but the flesh is weak" certainly applies in my case. I feel guilty afterwards and I ask God to forgive me but I know it cant continue like this. I need prayers and guidance. Any advice on how to stay strong?

Thank you all-your answers were very helpful. Peter B-your email is not confirmed :)

Answer 1

Knowledge of His word leads to strength. I recently wrestled with this myself...

First of all, it's important that we don't use "the heart is willing but the flesh is weak" as an excuse to continue sinning.

But the main reason to stop is that you feel guilty afterwards. Each time you do it, the guilt eats at your soul until sex with the person you love becomes a vile thing in your heart. Trust me, this happens. Your brain is attaching guilt to it, which makes it a "bad thing" in your mind. It's causing damage to your relationship and you won't realize it until later.

I'm sorry if this sounds so harsh. The only reason I can talk this openly is that I went through this myself, very recently.

What did I do in your situation? We both talked about it and prayed for strength. If the person you're with is a Christian, he should come to understand.

But if he lives with you, this could be nearly impossible. The only way to truly beat temptation is to deny it battle. Don't let yourself be in a situation that could easily lead to sex. (such as being alone together after-hours).

In this case, is marriage out of the question? Fell free to email me if you would like to talk about this.

Answer 2

1. Realize that sex is addicting, and act on that knowledge.

2. There is a reason you aren't married to this guy. Think about it! Either the timing is "wrong", or you're too young, or he won't commit. Whatever. You have been doing each other for more than a year now, but you aren't married yet? WHY are you settling for being each other's sex toy? Don't you believe you are worth more than this? Do you want your child to grow up with a split up family?

The 2 of you have already made a baby together. Think of why you aren't married yet: the reasons that keep you from committing should be sufficient to keep you out of each other's arms!

3. Avoid time alone together. I highly doubt your clothing comes off in public. You already know you can't trust yourself to be alone with this man. Be real about your own weaknesses. Should a recovering alcoholic hang around in a bar? NO. Take charge of your life again. This is not condemnation, it is smart spirituality.

4. Talk to your BF about all of these things, and see how he feels about it. Who knows, maybe he struggles with the same feelings too? Talk over the phone, though, and not in person.

5. Join a woman's prayer group. There is strength in sisterhood! You might be suprised at how many older women in the church have had to deal with the same thing. Let them help you.

Peace.

Answer 3

Having premarital sex on and off with the father of your 1 yr old against your beliefs and you KNOW it isnt helping your relationship with God and again your belief that you just cant help it due to "The heart is willing but the flesh is weak" .

Having asked for any advice on how to stay strong, its upto you only who can very well change the situation the way you want it.

Answer 4

Well go to your church leaders, or anyone you trust for help. God will always forgive you but when you continue sinnning and appolagizing then sinning he is not going to take you seriously......Talk to the father of you 1 year old, talk about marrage and tell him you have to stop haveing sex unless you are married, a man that loves you will respect your opinion and wishes. Just remember God loves you!

Answer 5

Are you hurting anyone by doing this? I don't think so. Don't be ridiculous, everyone has premarital sex, except for the people who don't, and end up wishing they had later. Can you think of any LOGICAL reason you shouldn't be having premarital sex? If so, then stop. If not, then keep doing it until you don't want to anymore.

Answer 6

If your feeling bad for it, congratulations, that's the right place to start. Those feelings are there to help you. You need to pray continually for wisdom from God on what should be your first course of action, then you need to pray for strength to follow that guidance when it comes. Remember, Wisdom is knowing what to do, Happiness is doing it.

Answer 7

That's BS. You just say no, hon. Don't try to shift the blame to some Bible verse. Take responsibility for you own actions and don't do it.

Why do it if it only hurts you? What are you looking for in these actions? I think you need to seek your satisfaction elsewhere where you may actually find it.

You are the only master of your universe. Better step up to the plate and be a good one.

Answer 8

I wish I had your problems...Why don't you merry father of your kid?Trust me,prayers don't help.Sex is a natural thing,you won't stop your flesh from wanting to have sex.Get married if it bothers you so much that you are sleeping with somebody who is not your husband.Advise?Pick up that one who gave you more happiness,smiles,fun and good times.Choices are yours.God or the guy you love...

Answer 9

Well I don't know if I can help you because I don't think there's anything wrong with having sex before marrage, as long as you're safe about it. I'm not married and my boyfriend and I are sexually active. Are you on the pill? Have you and your boyfriend been tested for various STDs?

Answer 10

pray and ask God to help u and talk 2 ur babys daddy and tell him u and him need to stop having sex until your married and if he says no he wants to keep having sex and not get married drop him and move on cause he can take you straight to hell but if he understands then u know tat he is the one cause he understands its not just ur problem