I work for a company in Tokyo, and been sent to UK for a period of time (not being said how long it will be).
Living for 2 months or so, I met a guy, and last week he said he thinks me as his gf. I like him alot also...I was in a long distance relationship before, and had a tough time, so I am so happy now.
Today, my company wants me back, and maybe go to LA next... in October... I'm now in Japan, going to talk with the CEO about how I want to stay in UK.
Based on career wise, it's best for me to go to USA. I have much more oppertunity and have higher salary. Back to Japan, and I might be able to have a great oppertunity also, but never in love because I don't do well with Japanese guys. I have a new bf now in UK who I love to be with, but we just started our relationship, and not much excitement in work...
If I choose where to go, I must stay for more than 2 yrs...
I do want to marry in these 3 to 4 yrs...
If I were you, what would you do?!
2006-08-06 16:57:47 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hate to give you a boring logical answer, but make a list on paper of the pro's and con's for staying in the UK or going to wherever will further your career. And 2 months is not a long time, so how well do you really know this guy? Ask yourself why you like him as much as you do. How does he treat you? How much of a future do you see with him? Is it worth it to you to risk a career setback to stay in the UK for this guy? No one here can really answer your question as far as should you stay or should you go. Only you can figure this out. But, remember: regret (either way) is something you may have to live with.
2006-08-06 17:06:00 · answer #1 · answered by dfhggd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my opinion:
2 months is a fairly short time in a relationship, don't you think?
tell your bf about the opportunity you have in the usa. say that you're confused and do not know what to do, and see what he has to say.
if he's really into you, he'll try to work it out too. he may suggest you look for a job in the uk, or that he'll make plans to move with you to the us. or he may suggest long distance till you'll work out a more reasonable solution.
if he's really not that into you, you'll know right off the bat. he'll probably not want long distance, and suggest you'll split up.
so either way, i think you are better off discussing with him this issue; we know where your dilemma is, but we don't know where he stands on this issue. so that needs to be clarified, and i think will give a clearer picture of the relationship overall.
on a positive note, if you have worked in two continents and have an offer to work in a third one, my guess is that you are very marketable with respect to job opportunities, so that's a big plus. now only if the guy likes you and is committed, something will work out. if not, you'll still come ot the us and hopefully run into a great person soon.
btw, regarding the higher pay in la, there has to be some price of living index, do look that up before you choose to head out to la. you said the opportunities are better in la, so it may or may not play a role in your overall decision, but maybe look into it just for the heck of it. you don't want any surprises after you get to la, if you choose to that is.
2006-08-06 17:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by donewithschool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, what I would do first is make sure he truly loves you. If he does then it should not matter where you are or how long of a distance the relationship is. Because if he truly loves you he will wait. Like me I've been waiting for a girl I have not seen physically. She lives in my dreams. You can not have a further distance than your dreams. But I know that she is out there. I just have not met her as far as I know I have not met her yet. I will not know. till I get the chase for my heart to lead. I sounds crazy, But if I never meet this girl I will be alone. I will not settle for some that is not here. But if I do realize I've met or meet her. I will love this woman for eternity. So follow your heart. but don't stop your life.
2006-08-06 17:08:38 · answer #3 · answered by lovely soul with insite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's only you who can make this decision, but you can get some help from your boyfriend. How does he feel? Would he be able to move away with you? Would he want to?
If he can't or won't move, then you have to think about what you want long-term. If you think deeply and honestly about your relationship, then is it one that you can see lasting forever? Is it one that is worth making sacrifices in your career for? If the relationship didn't work out then would you be able to catch up in your career - or would you mind if you didn't because you'd taken a risk that didn't work out?
Everyone has different priorities and you need to make your decision based on what yours are, and what is right for you.
2006-08-06 17:13:07 · answer #4 · answered by pomme_blanche_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have to think of yourself and your career don't let emotions make an answer for you. Sounds kind of strange but we make hasty decisions when they are built on emotion. Whose to say this thing will last and if you based your decision on this guy and missed out on an opportunity then you will beat yourself up. I say think of you career and make a decision that is best for your future. If you really do like this guy and feel he is worth it I would say make your career choice first and then take it a day at a time with this relationship. In the end if it is what was planned for you you will have both.
2006-08-06 17:09:18 · answer #5 · answered by sweetcincylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
two years isn't a very long time, so whichever you chose it will be fine, weather or not you stay with the guy in the UK or live in Japan some more. you need to think about what is best for you, which path will lead you to where you want to be in life, which can give the most happiness.
2006-08-06 17:08:25 · answer #6 · answered by karin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...i don't no what to say here..but in u'r problem... i know u clever to sorve this problem... i just want u ask u something... what u choice here acctually? ask u'r heart...clear u'r heart and ask u'r heart deeply..what u want in u'r live?! if u'r want both... u must take an action..try ask the guy come with u..but u said u dont want to get merried in 3 to 4 yrs..if u really love someone sometimes we must do a ceterfice..but u'r a career women..i hope u do not forgot u must enjoy u'r live to... sometime in love we can do anyting to make someone happy be with us...if u lov u'r career alot..u should choice u'r career....it all ur dicited.. what u want to and what u don't want to... i hope u'r will choice the happy thing in u'r live......don't rule u'r live....
2006-08-06 17:28:52 · answer #7 · answered by princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. a damn confusing situation,, see u have a good oppurtunity for ur career.. and there's this guy who u love loads.. but i guess if its trur love the distance wont matter and u guys wud still be together, so its better that u take up the job.
2006-08-06 17:04:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you wake up in the morning what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Job or BF? That's your answer. Follow your heart.
2006-08-06 17:12:36 · answer #9 · answered by JKM1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you're about to go to the USA, cause you want more money. Tell him you like him, and if he really wants to be with you, he'd better move to the USA also. If he moves with you, problem solved, if he doesn't let me know I will move with you...j/k
2006-08-06 17:05:29 · answer #10 · answered by Rick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋