How do I get my husband to spend more time with our son and I?

Question

He is a total neat freak and ALWAYS has some project to do around the house instead of just hanging out with our 13 month old son and I. He's constantly outside doing something, for the last two weekends he has been doing projects in the yard all day, and if we want to spend any time with him we have to go outside and practically follow him around.
He wonders why our son is a total "Mama's Boy" and gets annoyed at it. I tell him he has to make time for us if he wants the baby to comefortable around him.
How do I make him see that there is no time like the present, and by the way, I'm having another baby boy in January, at which time I will especially need more attention from him!

I am VERY good to my husband. I dont nag, almost never! That's why two weekends in a row have gone by without him involved in our weekend.

Answer 1

You could try to do activities for your son and include your husband. Take him to the park, the zoo, ect. You should sit down with your husband and have an honest chat. Tell him how you feel about the situation. Especially now that you are expecting a second child, your husband is going to have to pay more attention to his son. When our second boy was born, my husband kind of took over with the first one. He started taking him to the park after work, or the beach. He would take him places on the weekend. At first it was hard for him, he had a lot to get used to, but it soon became easy and fun for both of them.
Explain to your husband that things like the yard and work around the house can wait. Maybe plan a Saturday morning with your son and husband, and then tell your husband he can work when after you get home. That way, you get him to spend time with you guys, and he also gets to work. Was his father the same way? That might have something to do with it. You need to have a talk with him before you start to get resentful. He needs to become a more active part in your boys life before it's too late. Especially with the second one on the way....it gets more difficult.
Hey may not know any other way of life. If his father was always working, he may not know how to interract with his son. It's not something that is going to happen right away, it will take time, but the more he does it, the easier it will become. I'm sure he is a bit intimidated by your son and you because thus far, you have been the primary caretaker, therefore, your son always runs to you and always wants you; it may make your husband feel less adequate. If your husband were to step up to the plate a little more, then your son will soon realize he can rely on his father as well. He will begin to feel more comfortable with him. Take baby steps. Maybe ask your husband to play with your son while you make dinner. Have him give your boy a bath while you clean up the kitchen after dinner. Maybe ask your husband to take his son to the park on Saturday morning so you can get some rest. I know your boy is only a year old, but sometimes when your husband is working outside, maybe he can show your son some bugs or dig in the dirt with him. Let your son help his dad.
Most importantly, you need to have a talk with your husband to let him know how you feel. Let him know you need his help and his son needs to get to know his dad because you will need his help when the baby gets here. It should start now so that when the baby comes, your firstborn won't feel like you are pushing him off on daddy. He will already be used to spending time with his dad.
Approach the situation in a calm manner, do not accuse or make cause for your husband to become defensive. You are a couple, and open communication is the key.
maybe after the baby is down for bed, pour some wine (you can hhave one glass of red wine, it's actually good for your heart and bbaby) and sit on the couch and have a chat. Make sure your husband is in a good mood and well rested. The last thing you need is an argument.
I hope this helps some.

Answer 2

If he doesn't want his son to be a "momma's boy", he's going to have to wait a while! The kid's only 13 months old for cryin out loud!
If you want him to spend more time w/ you and your son, just lay it on the line for him. If he can't deal with being a parent now, you'll have more trouble when your next son is born.
I grew up w/out a dad. I turned out reasonably well, but a lot of other kids dont. Tell him to stop being such an @$$ and spend some quality time with his son.

Answer 3

I don't know you (of course) but how do you treat your husband? Do you treat him like a man? Do you let him know that he is the strongest, most wonderful man in the world? Do you ever call him or email him during the day, just to say you love him and you love the way he takes care of you and your son? Turn yourself into someone that he wants to spend time with.

Answer 4

Well, it sounds like you control him too much. Poor guy can only get some peace by doing house projects. Lay off of him.

Answer 5

give him some time alone and start ignoring him then hell wonder if everything is ok and realize hes grown go have you and your sons picture taken .eventually hell come around if not just have a sitter come over and take him out where you can be alone and talk to him about it.

Answer 6

Maybe he is trying to perform his job as hunter gatherer and make sure the house and stuff is up to snuff... perhaps he is not comfortable in the parent role yet.... Do what most women never do, quit picking at it and allow it time to heal itself....

Answer 7

Tell him how you feel, have him spend a day with you guys and show him how you want it to be, maybe he'll wake up and realize that life is short and keep up with spending time with you

Answer 8

easy , do what hes doing to you , ignore him , don't be there for him to ignore then he will really get bent out of shape and change his ways

Answer 9

call that spouse swap show