it seems like after a month or so things seem to end for some reason or another. typically it seems that they feel inadequate for some reason (dont have enough money, dont have a good job, etc) and so they feel NOT READY for something serious. why would they even begin a relationship in the first place? what is a good way to deal with this?
2006-08-06 15:50:34 · 22 answers · asked by alice k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i really am not pushy... not like most of my female friends are... and i really don't think money or status is important... i wouldn't be with these guys in the first place would i? it seems to be the guy making something not serious into the possibility of a long term relationship and then they are worried that they are not ready for some financial or other reason of inadequacy
2006-08-06 16:06:35 · update #1
sounds like you're scaring them away....lighten up! Maybe you're the one making them feel inadequate. No one wants to talk 'serious' after one month.
2006-08-06 15:55:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have been there and done that !!! My Ex boyfriend didn't have a job for the last 2yrs of the 3yrs we were together and with that in mind I didn't either but got one later but he felt inadequate too Always saying something going to come thru and he blamed me for having too much he thought I was all that but that's how he saw me ..You know you always try to look after your man sometimes if they can't themselves but it only got worse I would buy him clothes he get mad that ain't what I like we go out and I pay he had an attitude but I had to realize he wasn't mad at me he was mad at himself so I have learned Let that Man be a man and sometimes you have to let them do for themselves. He want to be ready to be there for you he started the relationship because it was an attraction so just go on about life when he's ready he will come back (if you're not taking by then) so good luck and keep your head up you didn't do anything wrong!!!
2006-08-06 23:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by classy chic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you know it's not YOU
you mke the assumption that it's the guy
but if you were cool with there status in life ( be it lower income, education ect.. what ever ) commitment would not be an issue.. trust me
so it 's you..
take a cold hard look in the mirror
what do you see?
are you a whiner and complainer?
do you nag?
are you emotionally needy ( as most women are ) which translates into high maintenance and fights over stupid issues
he may not much but all men have there dignity and there breaking point and will only put up with so much insecurity in a women
2006-08-06 22:57:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is just not clicking between you and the other guys. Odds are you are picking the wrong guys. You just need to be yourself and look for a guy who you enjoy spending time with. Maybe your relationships in the past have been too forced and did not develop. Don't overthink a relationship. Just enjoy. At any rate, you will find someone just relax and be yourself.
2006-08-06 22:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by cdfrx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I think I know the answer.
There could be 3 factors involved in this:
1 - he doesnt really like you that much. I know its pretty rough to hear, but sometimes guys just play with you. The want to conquer you and have sex with you and thats it. Once you allow them to have sex with you, they feel like the "won" and they are done.
2 - they are immature and have no desire to grow up. In this case...you should look better at who are you choosing.
3 - He is also interested in other girls other than you. In that case, use the "get away" trick.
If any of my suggestions work, move to another guy, this one is not worth of it.
2006-08-14 11:09:51 · answer #5 · answered by Umpalumpa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start by saying, that you do not need to keep a guy. Be totally independant, and be totally happy with your life, and who you are. Reconnect with yourself, and take some time to just be by yourself. Find out what it is you like and dislike about yourself. Exercise, read, and just hang out with good friends. Do volunteer work, or get a pet. When others see that you are truly happy in your own life, that light will shine outwardly, and you will attract people like moths to a flame.
2006-08-06 22:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by Michael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that they're not on the same level of maturity as you and don't understand about committment, ect. I think you need to talk to them more at first and filter a lot of them out, as you don't need to be wasting your time. It's really hard to find a decent man today, that's what I'd tell my daughter if I had one. If I had one, I couldn't think of a lot of men I'd feel comfortable with her going out with.
HOWEVER... bear in mind that lot of it has to do with the society has become in general, so you can't hold them entirely to blame. I think that communicating with them strongly is important.
2006-08-06 23:04:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
we are prideful creatues. feed the ego before the feelings of inadequacy start. just dont pump us up too much. pride commeth b4 a fall. being able to provide for the female is still a huge deal to most men although we may not admit it.
2006-08-06 22:56:00 · answer #8 · answered by vthokie4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well lets see, hahhahha, sorry about that, but for some reason, i find it strange that this happens you seem to find blame in the guy, maybe you should re evaluate yourself, your wants, needs and desires, along with your expectations of a mate, as maybe you set the bar way to high and expect them to jump it, might wanna relax abit and let life take its own course
2006-08-14 17:51:27 · answer #9 · answered by free2chat_tou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest what would keep me is this. Support me, love me only me, be open, honest, forgiving of faults and praising of accomplishments tell me you love me everyday and show it with your heart. Be proud of me that i try even when i fail. Be giving with no reciprocation expected. When i mess up and/or get mad dont get mad and leave me stay by my side and help me through it even if its because of you. Overall do what i would do for you not because of obligation but because you love me and care. Thats what would keep me by your side and be your slave litterally. Guys are problem solvers not really listeners so as long as you show them that support and help them with the problems with love you cant go wrong
2006-08-14 18:54:02 · answer #10 · answered by austin4life1977 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋