Why won't my best friend support my cause for help abused and abandoned animals? Is ignorance bliss?

Question

I help abused and abandoned animals and I organized a run for them. When I told my best friend about this she told me she can't do the run because she is afraid she will get very upset. She told me she would rather not hear about abused animals. She always gets upset when I do tell her stories of abused and abandoned animals. I don't understand. She has animals and she says she is a huge amimal lover but she will not support my cause because she feels better if she didn't know what happened to the animals. I told her ignorance is bliss.
I feel hurt and frankly I don't see her poinyt of view. Of course I cry too when I encounter abused animals but to know is to make a difference. Should I not be upset with her?

Answer 1

Some people get depressed over things worse then others. You say you cry when you see bad things happen to animals but she may have more emotions that are hard to overcome then you when she hears or sees bad things happening to those precious animals. She knows what she can tolerate.

Answer 2

Please don't be upset withyour friend. If she is your best friend then this isn't something you should be fighting over. I totally understand where she is coming from because I often feel the same way, but I absolutely comemorate you for the work you are doing. Some people are stronger than others when it comes to their emotions. I would also get very upset if I heard stories about abused animals. For me, I empathise and sympathise very easily for other people and animals. When I hear such horrid stories or see them on TV, I have a hard time getting them out of my head or letting that emotion go and it eats me up inside. This may also be the case for your friend, which isn't always a good thing. In order to do the things you do, someone has to have a certain amount of detachment. Don't be mad at her over something that she can't control. Try asking her if she'll take part in something where she might not be in contact with the things that get her so emotional. Passing out flyers or something that you do like that would also be a great help, but she won't have to hear the stories. Don't feel bad that she doesn't want to hear your stories because it doesn't mean that she doesn't care. She probably cares even more than you think, and that's what makes her so upset.

Answer 3

For some people who are extremely empathetic, it's hard hearing about the abuse....the mind is a very powerful thing and can project some gruesome images. This can take it's toll on someone like this. I know....I'm one of those people. So, rather than tell her all the gory details, tell her about the successes you have had and the dogs that have finally found good homes. Just leave out the messy details. For the run you organize, see if she would like a job, like passing out water for the runners and stuff like that. Try to get her involved, but make it less threatening. I give you a lot of credit for what you do, and I'm sure your friend does too, but for some people it is so hard to imagine the pain another goes through, because in some ways they are feeling the pain. Like I said, I'm like this too and I know how she feels. I don't want to be ignorant, but my mind is pretty powerful when it translates horror stories into images. So, be kind and understanding of her feelings too and she might come around. Good luck. :)

Answer 4

For many people, hearing about, or seeing abused/abandoned animals goes beyond their limit.. emotionally.
What type of run where you planning on doing...
I still can't handle going to puppy-mills, and seeing how badly those angels need to get out of there.. there is only just so much money to save these animals with, so many are left behind. I am one of the people that supports these rescues with money.. and now, I bring the animals into my home.. fostering them.
Before, I kept every animal that crossed my threshold.
Don't be hard on your friend.. but do ask if she can help in some other fashion, that won't hurt her as deeply. Remind her that these animals need peoples help.. and if she can't.. let it go.

Answer 5

Some people have so much empathy for others (people and animals) that they will have a significant depressive episode hearing about bad things. For them, ignorance truly is bliss. They can be very generous with finances, and if there are individual cases where they can make a difference, but to bring up specific things time and again to your friend is a bit insensitive of you, since she has tried to explain to you how she reacts to it. Think of it this way - if there is something that makes you overly upset, would you like her to bring it up over and over when she knows that it will impact you for days to come in a sorrowful way? And also, she may have other charities or things she feels passionate to help. This world cannot run properly if everybody is trying to help the one same thing, because there would be countless other things that would be neglected. I am very similar to your friend in that I love animals, and I would never not help any I came across, but my passion is for underprivileged children, and I focus on helping them. I get quite upset about inhumane treatment of animals, and depressed when I hear of it, but to help the children, I am saddened by their situations, but I can handle it because I know the things I do for them are tangible and meaningful, so it is a positive thing for me, and the sadness keeps me going to find more help for them, rather than depressing me.

Answer 6

My friend works at a pound . Each week she has to euthanize many dogs, some puppies some old dogs and some whom people don't want. She likes to hold them and calm them before they leave the world. I could never do this job myself. I love animals but this work would kill me.

I love animals and I help her in adopting them out as best I can. I am very thankful she can do this job that I could never do. Try to understand your friend and believe her.

ps. plz see my friend's dogs at my 360

Answer 7

being upset with her wont help and it certainly wont change her mind - in time she may or may come to realize these things happen whether you know about them or not - personally I have decided to quit watchnig the TV news for the same reason..

However I am very well aware of cruelties and abuse of animals - I dont seak it out because it is sad but worked for years in an SPCA and hear stories - I dont avoid them either...

best lessons you can teach
1 spay and neuter
2 NEVER buy pups or kittens from pet stores
3 NEVER give away "free kittens" or "free pups"

Answer 8

Hi,
Yeah don't be upset with her. Everyone handles animal abuse differntly. I was a dog groomer and I also help with rescue and I understand alot of my close friends thast have pets and treat them great just don't want the images in thier heads at night when they try to sleep.

Answer 9

I wouldn't get mad at her for not having an interest in abused animals like you and me do, because odds are, there are certain charities my friends support that I dont. I do bless you for caring about the animals though.

Answer 10

I would be upset with her, too - but I would respect her decision to not hear gory details. You might want to ask her to sponsor you instead of being so active in your run. Tell her every bit helps, and that you know that she doesn't like the details, but you could really use her support.