I am 31 yrs. old, married and have five kids. (10, 8, 6, 5, and 5 months). If things don't go my kids way they whine to grandma, or if she doesn't think I'm doing things the right way she's always telling me how to do it differently.
She wants me to divorce my husband cause she doesn't like him. She doesn't like how I have my kids situated in their rooms.
She doesn't like how I spend my money. I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't do that? How do I get her to stop with her annoying interferance all the time?
Why do my kids think whining to her is going to make things better?
2006-08-06 15:14:23 · 8 answers · asked by ~SSIRREN~ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is for super mom. I have thought about moving away. Problem is, when I move she moves near me everytime. I'm thinking about moving out of state, but I don't want to take the kids' grandma away from them. They love her dearly. Wish I could say the same.
2006-08-06 15:28:48 · update #1
I lived with that until I was 34. Then I had an epiphany! I was 34 yrs old! D'oh.
SO the next time she started up I said, "How old am I?"
She stopped and sputtered and had to figure it out.
Then I said, "you do realize I am middle aged?"
She hung up on me.
That was the point.
It didn't stop her from her behavior unless I dropped that line respectfully and in an even tone. She felt stupid and acted out yelling and so forth.
Every time she did, I hung up or walked out.
I stopped telling her ANYTHING about my life. Just non-committal answers. And the phrase, "I'm sorry you feel that way."
It turned down the volume but she is who she is. You have to protect yourself from the abuse, so keep her at arm's length.
As to the kids, once they understand Grandma doesn't rule YOUR house, their short attention spans will shift.
Talk to YOUR husband. He might be more supportive than you realize. He just didn't want to get in the middle of a mother/daughter thing.
2006-08-06 15:36:14 · answer #1 · answered by Stargatebabe 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Just agree with her but you take control in your home and remind your children of this. Tell your mom that she did a great job when she was the mother but now help her understand that you have to raise your children and when you feel overwhelmed by your children that she will be the first you will ask for help (even if you only share a few details to make her feel that she is still in control and she will enjoy the idea that you still need her) Your children go to her because they know grandma is going to agree with them and they are manipulating your grandma and you too. Take away their privileges unless they follow your rules---keep your disciplinary actions to where you can do them---don't say something that you cannot really do or once they see that you do not follow through your kids will see that you do not have control "I am going to take your (whatever) until you do this chore" and do it---other children will not enjoy your punishment because they are also being punished for the actions of the other.
2006-08-06 22:40:39 · answer #2 · answered by Lifeline 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had the answer to this I would love to share it. But, I am somewhat in the same bind you are. I have 4 kids and my mom doesn't know when to stop. She knows when I am ticked and will keep going.
Here is a trick that I have done. Move away, a long way away.
I am so sorry. Wish I could help. If you can't be open with your mom like me, this is my only answer. If you think you can be a little brave, unlike me, talk to her about how you need her support.
2006-08-06 22:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by super_mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to sit down and have a talk with grandma. Tell her if she does not treat you with respect she is not welcome in your house anymore (you can take the kids to her house). If she is that bored with her life to keep butting into yours, try and find her a hobby. There is no reason for you to turn your life upside-down for her. It is your life not hers. If she has so much experience to share tell her to adopt and raise some more.
2006-08-06 22:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gutta put your foot down and tell her. My mom used to do the same thing but to a more drastic extent.
Tell your kids that you are their mother and what happends in your house stays in your house. What you tell them goes.
Tell that to your mom too...tell her you are their mother you are living your life. and even use this one " Just because you screwed up your own life doesnt mean you can take over mine". I used that one....my mom got mad at me for like a week, but she got the picture that I was a grown woman and living myown life the way I want it to be lived.! And if she doesnt like it.... she does not have to be part of 'my; life.
2006-08-06 22:23:46 · answer #5 · answered by JOEYSMOM2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her this is your time to live your life. and to bud out.
2006-08-06 22:18:41 · answer #6 · answered by moonspawnhotmailcom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's YOUR Life
2006-08-07 01:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by Giggles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her off
2006-08-06 22:21:18 · answer #8 · answered by polarbear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋