Is living with a man a form of committment?

Question

I just accepeted the fact that my lover has a girlfriend that he lives with. He has not been honest, I must admit I was in denial. When I went to the hospital to see him, she was there by his side. No introduction and he treated me like a stranger. I was hurt. Since that time I have seen him, and of course he has not discussed anything, and we are acting as if nothing has occured. He has had major surgery and I dare not discuss something so trivial. Right now its really not about me, and while he is fighting for his life, I'm sure its the last thing he wants to discuss. Now I am on a schedule to see him. IF a man has a woman in his life that he lives with, and he knows how I feel about him, he knows that and now I know that there is not a furture. Why wouldn't he just tell me like it i, in order that I have no hope or expectations of him being my man. The sex is good. Now that I know he is in a committed relarionship, I see no need to continue to continue to be there

Answer 1

You need to walk away, first of all, ur dealing with a man that NOT yours. SOOOOO please keep it movinh nothin can come of this but more hurt fot the woman he ACTUALLY loves. Honey UR NOT it, relaex , revamp and move on to someone who loves you and you only. Let it go, you have no other choice. get ur own man honey quit fu&()*() with someone elses man, and grow up. that is SSSOOOOO lame!!

Answer 2

You have already answered your own question. Don't settle for being any man's 2nd best. Think if you were the girl he was living with. Would you want him to have someone on the side? No of course not. He's already shown what kind of man he is and that he isn't the faithful type. Move on and find a man who's worth it. His live in girlfriend can help him through his health issues.

Answer 3

I think you are smart in your thinking about not being in this relationship. However: if this girlfriend knows about your relationship and approves then there shouldn't be a problem. When secrecy and deception are part of a relationship...that is not healthy. Some people practice Polyamory where they have more than one loving relationship and are very happy. So if this man were honest with the both of you and his girlfriend...and you both approved...you could have a relationship with him...as long as honesty is involved.

Answer 4

This has a lot to do with you. He may have had major surgery, and may be very ill but, he still betrayed you and this girl. I can understand if you don't want to stop comminication, but I would stop the senussual part. Regardless of his being sick or not he is still wrong, and you are entitled to feel bad about it. You are a person too.

Answer 5

It doesn't sound like he wants to be committed to much. If he hasn't even tried to discuss his actual girlfriend with you, it also doesn't sound like he's too interested in keeping you around.

Sorry, but regardless of what's going on with his health, it's time to walk away. Be a friend if you want, check up on him if you are concerned, but sex does not a relationship make.

Answer 6

YES IT IS KINDA SERIOUS WHEN 2 PEOPLE AGREE TO LIVE TOGETHER, HE SOUNDS LIKE HE THOUGHT THE SEX WAS GOOD TOO, I'D PROBALY BOW OUT SINCE HE'S NOT BEING HONEST WITH EITHER OF YOU LADIES.

Answer 7

For the guy, no. For the girl, yes.

He is getting his cake and eating it too. Lucky him. Too bad for you.

Sorry.

Answer 8

umm, lets see: he's on the down low, you're out in the open. it's obvious he wants to have his cake and eat it! move on!

Answer 9

yes

Answer 10

i know this is hard to hear, but, if your meant to be together, you will... move forward, not on. i wish you luck.