My husband and I have been separated for a year. My kids live with their father due to the fact the court granted him temporary custody. He was the finicial back bone in our marriage. I love them so much! My husband and I basically hate each other but I am willing to forgive for the kids sake. He tells them lies about me and no matter what I do to prove myself better I feal as if they are loosing respect for me. Please can somebody give me some advices before I loose the loves of my life.
2006-08-06 14:54:33 · 8 answers · asked by QUEEN ZENOBIA 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You have to live an above board life not only visible to your kids but to your family, friends, business associates, etc. That means have defined ethics, morals (particularly morals), scruples, and be consistent at all times. You have to live a clean life with NO bad habits that would affect the kids. No smoking, no drinking, no sexual affairs, no drugs, no questionable behavior, no language issues (cussing) and ALWAYS act and dress as a lady. I am a Christian and believe that a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is your best solution to all issues. In addition, a church family could help you develop your character and stability as a single mother. I wish you the best.
2006-08-06 15:04:46 · answer #1 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to never ever bad mouth their father, even if they are not around, word will get back to them and will make them feel even more uncomfortable about the entire situation.
When you have them for visits, remain consistent in house rules, even if daddy lets them do other things. Listen when they want to talk and give them space when they want to be left alone. You don't need to try to be their friend, just continue to be the best mom that you can. They will eventually warm to the realization that you do care
2006-08-06 23:30:53 · answer #2 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR actions will speak louder than HIS words. Give it time, don't put the kids in the middle and don't take his bait. I grew up that way and could never trust either of them. It's a nasty game to play. You need to be bigger and explain to the kids why dad might be saying those things, in a nice way. They need to see you be respectful and they will follow that. Pray to God if you don't already. It's easy and He always listens. But things don't always happen as fast as you would like. Be patient and rely on God.
2006-08-06 22:48:24 · answer #3 · answered by mommaof4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue to love them and spend as much time as possible with them. Don't criticize him (the ex) in front of the children...however don't forgive him if you feel you're right. Your actions toward your children will speak louder to them than his words. If you give them your love and time...they will respect you and love you, moreso as they become a little older and can realize what took place. I wish you all the best
2006-08-06 22:01:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get visitation just be the best mom you can be and tell them you love them. If they bring up lies, just tell them they can't believe everything they hear and leave it at that. Kids are not stupid when they grow up they will know who is right and who is wrong.
2006-08-07 15:58:40 · answer #5 · answered by grudgrime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how that goes, when the ex tries to undermine the kids' respect for the other parent.
All I can say is, 'Do your best, and God does the rest'
2006-08-06 21:59:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect them. And NEVER say anything bad about their father to them. Stop trying to defend yourself. Just enjoy your time with them. You have nothing to make up for, so don't try to buy them. Just be their mother.
2006-08-06 22:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by Deb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find financial means go to school get stable home and fight for the kids. Keep regular visits and make the quality visits. good luck.:-)
2006-08-06 22:00:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋