My boyfriend's sister is going to have a baby soon. I know that eventually my boyfriend and I are going to get married. But the problem is that since I'm not married to him yet, I'm not seen as the soon to be aunt. Plus, his sister and I don't really have that great of a "friendship" at all, but I do want to become closer to her and don't know how. What should I do? Should I act like it's going to be my nephew/niece? Or, should I just back off completely and pretend like I don't care?
2006-08-06 14:36:06 · 16 answers · asked by Curious&can'twait 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Just consider yourself a loving friend. After you're married you'll be able to carry the title of "aunt". Although if you don't have a good relationship with the sister, you probably won't be in their lives all that much.
2006-08-06 14:40:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your situation, it sucks! Just be a good person and ask about the pregnancy now and then. You could even buy a nice baby gift and show that you care. If later on they still treat you distant then you'll just have to try harder or deal with it. I wish you all the best. For myself, everything worked out great, and we're a very close and happy family. Just remember, you're not "family" yet, so don't take it too personal. You never know what the future holds, just do what you would like someone to do for you and let it be.
2006-08-06 21:56:13 · answer #2 · answered by G.D.Bradberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about somewhere in the middle? Don't back off and pretend you don't care, but don't make this situation all about YOU, either. It's her baby. Show your interest and support, but don't call yourself the child's aunt. Once you two are married, then you can be the best aunt in the world. Show her that you care about her in a "friend" sort of way, and the rest should just fall into place.
2006-08-06 21:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by Who, me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on how long you and your boyfriend have been dating. How definite is yalls marriage? That and if you and the sister-in-law dont get along... you acting all sentimental might actually make the situation worse... especially if the sister is older. I can tell you personally that new mothers are very protective over there babies so if she doesnt like you then it will make things worse... I'm not gonna tell you that you should talk to her about how you feel BECAUSE IT DOESNT WORK. When the baby's born feel free to buy it things and maybe over time she begin to warm up. If she really loves her brother she will come to the realization that you make him happy.
P.s word of advice... stop calling yourself the baby's aunt. becasue point blank ... your not...cus your not married.
And it makes you bad in front of the mom-to-be!
2006-08-06 21:48:43 · answer #4 · answered by Sparks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would show intrest but not make a big deal about being called aunt. if you want to be closer to her try and be a friend and be there for her during the pregnancy and offer to help with the baby she will need a lot of support. just be supportive and try not to push the aunt issue if ya'll do get married then you can become auntie and the bond will already be there with you and the baby
2006-08-07 00:38:55 · answer #5 · answered by shedevilang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not the aunt, so you don't need to act like it.
You're not close to the mom, so you shouldn't fake it just because you love her brother-everyone will see right through it.
When the baby arrives, be courteous and express congrats, but don't go out of your way to act auntie-like.
Offer to help, if you truly want to.
It's important to learn to be real at all times. Real with yourself, real with others, & real with the situation.
Don't pretend anything.
Don't go overboard to try to fit into the family.
Stay involved, but I'm sure you must have your own life so immerse yourself in that. Your career, education, your family, your friends, your man, your future. In-laws can be nice, but super close friendships with them are not essential to a positive relationship.
Also, if you and the sister are going to be friends, allow it naturally.
It sounds like your boyfriend is not your fiance yet, so just chill a little.
Good luck.
2006-08-06 22:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely don't act like you don't care. That could really mess things up for you in the future if you do plan on staying with your bf for a long time. I would be as polite as possible and show some interest in the baby. You don't have to go crazy over it, but you could buy her something when she has the baby and offer to help out or cook something.
2006-08-06 22:24:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No dont back off completely, ask her if she needs to go baby shopping or ask her if she needs help at all with baby things, since shes pregnant she will probably most likely need help.This may help you guys bond and show her you care for this child and their well being.My sister in law was on bed rest when she was pregnant and almost lost my nephew, i was there with her everyday and did everything in the world for her, If i wasn't t0o have made that step up and helped I would never be able to say that i helped.....And i would never be able to say i have a nephew named Payne Rump!!!!!Good Luck!!!!
2006-08-06 21:51:17 · answer #8 · answered by ashleydahustla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should act like you don't care. Act how you feel. If you feel you want to be closer to them, then do it. Let the sister refer to you as auntie first. Don't press the issue, but regardless act like you truthfully feel, that you are happy to be there and share in the birth of your bf's niece/nephew.
2006-08-06 21:41:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to befriend her if you really want to be. Take her out to lunch, offer a small baby gift as a sign of your anticipation and affection. Call her once you are friends, offer to help in any way she may need.
2006-08-06 23:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by mommaof4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋