I have been going out with my bf for 1.5 yrs now, it is my 1st relationship, and he has had many more, since he is 9 years older than me. He says he loves me, and I know he does, but latley I keep asking if we will always be together, and if he will love me forever, because that is how I feel about him, I cannot imagine not being with him. We have lived together for the past 6 months, so it is serious, but every time I ask about the future he says he dosent know yet, and to stop pressuring him. Yesterday I asked if he thought he wanted to be single before getting married and he said he dosent know, stop asking these questions. I talk about having kids and getting married and he sometimes aggress and we have similiar life goals, but I am afraid I am more emotionally involved than him. He is 29 and I am 20, so I would think he would be thinking about this even more than me. Is this "normal"?
2006-08-06 14:27:51 · 10 answers · asked by ophierose 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are insecure and putting pressure on him. If you continue you will drive him away.
You have done what a lot of women do (including me) you're losing yourself in him.
If you love him and he loves you you have to learn to trust in him that he won't leave you. And if he does leave, you WILL find love again.
2006-08-06 14:42:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop those negative thoughts...it will only ruin your realationship. Enjoy your relationship and trust him fully. You are are still young to think about serious matters like marriage. Just go with the flow of life. Accept that relationship do fail sometimes and it will hurt you but in the process you will learn from it. Gain valuable lessons from mistakes coz it will mold you into a better person. Your bf is still enjoying his life, let him be...if you are really meant to be...you will meant to be no matter how the odds are.
2006-08-06 14:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is often the people whom you are the closest to that can hurt you the most.... loving someone completely means completely opening your heart up to them... that makes you very vulnerable... i don't know your bf or anything, so i can't really say too much without making a lot of assumptions, but here is my piece of advice: girls are the ones who usually tend to get more emotionally involved in a relationship... they often start thinking about the future, marriage, kids, growing old together, while the guy is still thinking about today.... if you really really do love him, try not to pressure him too much... he maybe thinking nabout the future now, but isn't quite ready to make such a commitment... just give him some time... wait for him to bring up the topic next time... = ) i hope everything works out for you!
2006-08-06 14:36:26 · answer #3 · answered by .j.u.l.i. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's enjoying getting his milk for free. After reading your situation, it seems that you're counting way too much on him or becoming too "needy".
Back off and stay aloof. Make plans with friends, family, and/or coworkers. Enjoy life and don't ask so many questions (get a journal to write them in if you can't stop thinking about them). I am writing this from my own experience, so I'm not trying to come down on you, personally.
You can't control someone else or time. VERY important lesson that I learned, just passing it on. If he knows that he's in control with your future, you may be miserable because you're not getting what you want to make yourself happy. Maybe getting married will make you happy...just make sure you're happy with WHOM you marry.
Good luck to you and yes, loving someone that much does hurt. Just don't wrap your every waking moment around everything he does. It seems cute at first, but after awhile it can be destructive.
2006-08-06 14:42:46 · answer #4 · answered by ditcgrrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't tell you what direction he sees your relationship going then why waste your time. You should know by now if you all have similar goals in life otherwise you two are wasting time. If he's not sure that he ever wants to get married and you know you want to why waste your time with someone who is unsure. What if your two are together for another 5 years and he decides that he doesn't want to get married, what are you going to do? Think about it.
2006-08-06 14:35:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
six months is kinda short to be talking about family, especially if the q's are currently leaving him cold. take your time. he may just want a girl friend. sounds like nerves are getting you to think too much. its your first relationship enjoy it for what it is. give him a few more months, and if you still feel the same, ask again.
2006-08-06 14:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by firechap20 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys get uncomfortable when you talk about commitment. Back off him for a while with all your marriage and kids talk and you'll see that he's more comfortable around you. If you don't you're gonna scare him off. Guys get as worried about commitment as girls, but it only shows when the girl brings up that kind of stuff and keeps going on about it as if she expects it, almost demands it.
2006-08-06 14:41:02 · answer #7 · answered by Elaina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always hard to let your guard down and fully trust someone with your heart and soul but with love you have to. Im not saying that he will never hurt you but you just have to love and trust him and hope that he never does. And remember if he does...life goes on and you can make it...even if you think you cant. We only grow stronger with lifes disappointments and failures. It makes us grow and mature and molds us to the people we are to become. Life gives us UPS and DOWNS! Its up to us what we make of them. Good luck with your relationship!
2006-08-06 14:40:08 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's quite normal and I think at this point you may be worrying unnecessarily. I would just accept the good relationship you have now and relax and let things fall into place.
2006-08-06 14:33:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't!
true love fears nothing!
2006-08-06 14:31:15 · answer #10 · answered by Jan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋