I am a 48 yr old woman who has been seperated for approx. 7yrs and have a 22yr old son who stays with me...he has no job and trys to control ...he has no steady job and eats all the food. WHAT DO I DO.....restraining order or what...
2006-08-06 14:21:39 · 11 answers · asked by bmoolb 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Community Service
sorry but... KICK HIS A$$ OUT!
wait til he's gone and have the locks changed! If he tries to get in after that, call the cops!
2006-08-06 14:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by cynthetiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is such a difficult situation. You must be pulling out your hair.
First, you must make a rental contract and set a monthly rent figure for him - he must sign this. Collect a deposit, or try to. Anyway, if he refuses to sign it, give him a deadline (60 or 90 days is reasonable) to move out or he will have to start paying rent and bills. Approach him with this in an unemotional way and treat it as if it is all business - which it is. You are his mother and it is time to be in the business of teaching your child what it means to be an adult. Let me guess, you have to get up really early but since he has no job he comes home every night after 2 a.m. and makes a lot of noise and refuses to obey your rules and doesn't care about your needs.
My son did the same thing when he was 22. I gave him a deadline and he didn't find a job or try to get an apartment. So, 2 weeks before the deadline, I rented the lousiest apartment in the scariest neighborhood for the cheapest rent I could get. I moved most of his stuff for him and patted his arrogant little behind and sent him out into the world to make his way. Make his way he did and he gained a lot of respect for me and how hard I always worked as a single mom to provide for him while he was growing up. He treats me so well and is married and just had his first child. Don't get me wrong - he was very angry with me for a while but that was o.k. He is now a fine man and I am very proud of him - nothing like his father at all.
Good luck, be strong. Don't argue with him, try to keep your emotions at bay. It is so hard to do what you need to do. But once you do it, you will gain a fine, adult friend instead of a worthless son.
2006-08-06 21:36:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one make him get a job or GET OUT! Your are the parent and he need to know that. He needs to start taking control over his own life and worry about himself instead of others. He is milking you for all you have and that is not right. If you don't put your foot down he will stay forever and never leave. Maybe he needs one good push out in the real world and get a taste of what it is like.
2006-08-06 21:31:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him an ultimatum by what time he has to leave your house.
If he's not going, pack his clothes, call the police, get a restraining order and have the locks changed. And your phone number, get it unlisted and better yet move.
2006-08-06 21:28:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that lady, but you're a little late trying to do something about your son's behavior.
you should have started 22 years ago and it would have made your life a million times easier along the way.
tell him to pay rent or make him move out. very simple. he's only doing what he thinks he can get away with.
2006-08-06 21:28:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok here it is, you pack up your stuff at night put it in the car, sell the house and roll out. When the cops show up to kick him out, he'll get the picture. What a loser. He may need a whipping.
2006-08-06 22:30:39 · answer #6 · answered by sami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he acts like that! He gets away with it! Give him a month to find his own place, then have all his sh*t out on the curb waiting for him if he doesn't get out. All the locks should be changed, too.
You just need to tell him to get the hell out, hon.
2006-08-06 23:21:14 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him evicted. That way he has to leave, but he can still come to visit. If he still gets controlling and using, get a restraining order.
2006-08-06 21:31:18 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your house? If it is your house and you are not afraid of physical repercussions, tell him to get out. Give him a date to move out and stick to it. If he does not go, get an attorney to advise you. If it is just an apartment, pack up your things and move out yourself, leaving him to deal with the rent, a lack of food.
2006-08-06 21:27:30 · answer #9 · answered by chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write a letter to Dr. Phil.
2006-08-08 07:45:21 · answer #10 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋