I left out some information in my last question. I DO get on the boys for not cleaning up after themselves, and they are NOT human lumps, and it really wasn't about him getting sarcastic with them. He also insults them. I know that they should get on the stick and do what they're told and I tell them all the time that they should be doing things without being told, like keeping their rooms clean, doing dishes, doing their own laundry, etc. I should have said I AM the one who does most of the reminding. He keeps his mouth shut for the most part. But when he does speak up it's never in a helpful manner. He says things like, "haven't you guys ever heard of picking up after yourselves", and "I guess nobody here knows how to read". Things like that. My question should have been whether these comments, hurtful and insulting as they are, are helping or hurting the situation. I'm in the middle and it's hurting me very much and nobody here seems to notice.
2006-08-06 14:07:20 · 4 answers · asked by kitten lover3 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am TRYING to be on his side. But I can't stand to listen to him belittle them and insult them and possibly make them turn against us. I don't call my own dad enough because that's how his wife treats me and my sisters. I don't want that to happen to us.
2006-08-06 14:45:23 · update #1
Family therapy would be a great way for you both to learn to start communicating more effectively amongst yourselves and with the children. He may not even realize that his words are harmful.
2006-08-06 15:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by deutschegal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are bringing a lot of this on yourself. You say that you are the one doing the reminding. Kids don't need reminding if they are brought up the right way to begin with. You also state that you are stuck in the middle. Parents should show a united front. Since your way is obviously working (sorry for the sarcasm), you should unite with your husband on his level. Then that may actually straighten out your kids. To answer your question though is your husband doing harm or good? Well let's see be harsh and raise a productive and working member of society, or do it your way, the kids don't listen and do what they want. I think he is doing more good then harm.
2006-08-06 21:40:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is hurting them by just making comments like that. Yes, the kids should help out, but he needs to talk to them in a respectful manner. The kids are people too and words do hurt. Good luck, I know how much you are hurting.
2006-08-06 21:21:12 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure but you are taking charge and leaving him out of it- give him the reins and back him
2006-08-06 21:19:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋