Should I feel bad I'll probably never make as much money as my dad?

Question

People tell me I'm rich, but I always answer my dad's rich, not me. My dad is very often criticizes how little I've accomplished at 24. But, it's just not the same having had finished college at 21 in 1965 than finishing college at 21 in 2003. My dad immediately got a well paid job; it took me 18 months to get an 0K job. at 28 my dad bought the huge house we still live in, but I just don't see a way I could possibly afford a house as big. I do the best I can, but I dunno how to make my dad see that things are harder now. I have to compete with thousands of people went to college. I can't just get a well paid just just like that, and houses are now smaller, and
I just don't make as money, I can never get a house like the one I live in. That's what I tell my dad, but he keeps criticizing my "small" accomplishments.

What would you do?

Thanks Debi, but I'm a guy, not a girl.

Answer 1

I'm sorry that your dad is making you feel down. It is tougher for this new generation. But if I was in your shoes, at the age of 24, I certainly would not be living at home where my parents could criticize me or wonder why I'm still living with them. I would definitely be in my own apartment or sharing a place with a friend. Maybe it wouldn't be a place as nice as the home I was raised in, but at least it would be my own place. Start looking... and begin your own life. Take care...

Answer 2

You aren't your dad. Remember that
If your dad cares more about how much money you make than about how nice you are, then he's just not very accepting. Tell him that you don't have to be rich to be happy. Also remind him that if he is smarter than you, he did nothing for it. That was the way he was born, and if you was born smart, then so be it. But that doesn't mean that everyone is going to be as smart as him (I'm not calling you stupid, I'm just saying that he might be a genious, or something) If the accomplishments you are making are all you are capable of making, he should be proud of the fact that you are working hard, and tell him this.
Tell your dad that it's not his business how much you make a year, but remember, say this nicely because since he is your parent, you must respect him (well most people don't respect their parents like they should, but just be smart and listen to that piece of advice)

Also keep in mind, money doesn't buy you happiness. If you are content not being rich, then you are fine the way you are. If you are looking for a higher paying job, then I would recomend looking around a lot. I know you probably have already done this to find your first job, and it's probably really annoying, but that's the way you'll find a better job.

I hope this helps. I'm many years younger than 24, and I have no experience in jobs, but I have plenty of experience dealing with parents ;)

Answer 3

Try moving to a different area.. For example if you live in Los Angeles (like me) you will NEVER get ahead.. If you move to say Houston, Texas or some other large (or small) yet cheap city you can do much better for yourself. Houses in Houston are less than 100,000 in some places for a 4 bedroom house! (Katy area). That's less than $1,000 mortgage payment a month - the same as a freaking one bedroom apt. in Los Angeles.

I grew up in Houston and my dad never lets me forget how much better it is there than Los Angeles.. Sure he has a fancy house there but if he were out here would it be so easy? He stayed at the same company for 30 years until he got a huge salary but nowadays nobody does that anymore.. They skip around and I'm still in college and I just got a good entry level job but is that good enough for him? He said I should do programming instead.. No.. there is so much pressure on me all the time.

My fiance gave me some advice that helped a little bit.. He said that my dad just probably thinks that I am smarter than him so he thinks I should do even better than he did and that's why he pushes me so much.. I do understand that he wants me to succeed but it takes time!

Answer 4

Are you a girl or a guy...fathers tend to favor their sons. Keep that in mind. Things are a LOT harder now. First, you should move out and show some independence. He's probably never going to take you seriously if you still live under his roof. Just remember that your happiness is what counts THE MOST. Don't let others get you down. Just keep at it..and you'll get somewhere eventually. Good luck!!!

Answer 5

Well hon, i believe that your dad thinks that what he is doing is for your best, i think he sees it as a way of "encouraging" you to not settle for less but to strive harder, i don't think that he's not aware that times have changed but you must remember that in his day things weren't a bed of roses either. like one of the others suggested maybe you should move out, but i also think that you should try having a detailed discussion with him do it in a business format, something i think he might understand. Draw up a prospectus, do an analysis of the current job market, draw a graph of your age versus the current job market and your ability to rise in your area of expertise in a given time period, and if all else fails move out. I also suggest that you pray before doing anything. All the best.

Answer 6

everything is relative, it was hard for your dad too, remember wages weren't as high back then, i'm sure your dad saved every penny, just like my parents who sent 3 kids to private schools all the way through college, it sounds you've already given up, well you can't do that, your dad never did that, you just have to keep moving foward one step at a time no matter how small the progress is

Answer 7

I want you to talk to your dad, tell him how you feel about how he is not being supportive of your accomplishment's. if he still doesn't well its his problem. you hold your head high with pride as you have done real good. be kind to your self, remember being a parent doesn't come with a book of rules. as long as you can live with yourself and knowing you done your best . that's all anyone can except from you, Good job with college.

Answer 8

MOVE OUT.
The ONLY important question is ARE YOU HAPPY?
It is NOT your place to make your dad happy.
If he is not happy with your accomplishments, THAT IS HIS PROBLEM.
You sound like a very level headed young lady THAT I WOULD BE PROUD TO HAVE AS A DAUGHTER.........

Answer 9

just start telling your dad how much you look up to him ( which you should ) he seems like a respectable being. but just make sure he knows how much times are different these days. because they are.

Answer 10

as long as u got a job n r tryin to do something with ur life who cares its ur life