How do I approach the idea of a roommate contract with an annoying roommate?

Question

I have a new roommate that just moved in to my spare bedroom of my apartment. The lease is under my name and he's listed as an occupant, in a sense subletting from me. He's only been here 2 days, and he's already annoying me. He's very demanding. He asks me lots of questions when I'm busy doing other things. He expects me to show him around San Antonio (he's from Oklahoma), not to mention, he expected to have internet service routed to his bedroom, ect. I also spent my own money on groceries that's supposed to last for the next 2 weeks, and he's eating like it's going out of style. I devised a roommate agreement, but I know he's going to get defensive if I suggest the idea. He's very emotional and gets defensive easily. He's also very manipulative. What's the best way to go about this? He has already said once that "I have a problem communicating" when the fact of the matter is, he has a problem with effective listening and general courtesy and common sense.

Answer 1

What kind of agreement do you have? Probably you can give him 30 days notice and tell him it's not a good situation.

Answer 2

Well, most of the things you mentioned have nothing to do with a roommate contract. If he's annoying the heck out of you, that's just a personality conflict. In that case, I'd tell him that things aren't working out and you are terminating his lease, find a new place in 30 days. I've never had a roommate contract that included anything about, "Don't ask me questions when I'm busy" Or, "I am not obligated to show you around."
It's a personality conflict and chances are... it's not going to get any better, sistah!
Have him move out, or pack up your own stuff!

Also, a note for the future, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS sign a lease contract BEFORE they move in stating that you have the right to terminate the contract within the first 30 days, for ANY reason, if you feel it won't work out. Just a note for the next time around...

Answer 3

Has he hooked up with his "ex" yet? I remember your previous question, I'm not surprised you're back here. I've never heard of a roommate contract, but if it helps you communicate what you expect, then go for it. I suspect you don't really have a communication problem so much as a problem setting boundaries in no nonsense terms. It's admirable that you keep seeking advice from the etiquette section and not relationships. That food thing is to be stated right to his face. "do not eat my food." if this is in contrast to previous statement out of politeness "sure, help yourself" Tell him you changed your mind, when you calculated that the added time of going to the grocery store was going to cost you. Suggest he ask if he needs something desperately, he certainly asks a lot of questions. Again keep in mind it is stressful for him too, but do not let him manipulate you. Treat him as you would a three year-old. "I'm sure you can do that on your own"

Answer 4

You need to tell him you're neither married nor dating. He's not living there because you're friends and he's expected to respect your space and property. He obviously has stunted social skills and I don't think it's wrong to lay it on the line and have him sign an agreement where he acknowledges what is expected of him. So what if he's defensive. People who know deep down they're wrong usually are.

Just say you thought he knew how to share a space, but the first few days indicated he didn't, so you want to help him out, and then present the agreement. Put in consequences if he doesn't live up to his end of the expectations, up to and including moving out and forfeiting his deposit.

Answer 5

Present the contract as a means to protect both him and you. If he suggests some changes in the contract, look at it calmly and see if you can agree to the changes. If you can't come up with a workable compromise, or if he refuses to sign the contract, give him 30 days' notice to get out. Next time have a prospective roommate sign the contract before moving in.

Answer 6

If you think you can get along with your new roomate, great I would come up with a rental contract. Did you check out his references before you sublent to him? So what if he gets defensive, you sound like you are already on the edge. Make a night to take him to see the town and stick to it. I can see that as far as steemrolling your space and shoveling your food make it clear before things get out of hand. To agree to a contract will be less hurtfull than the blow out sure to come. Good luck

Answer 7

you do not want to look like the bad guy. so you annoy the hell out of him so he leaves. he wants to eat your food fine. make liver and onions every night for a week and put mustard on top. Show him around town,take him to a gravel pit and just sit and stare. Take him to the garbage drop off place. And say you love to watch people bring in their cans to recycle. While your showing him around say you have to stop and use the restroom and hang out in convince store for a half hour or something. Play music he does not like while driving him around. Just do whatever you can to annoy him.

Answer 8

Kick the kid back to his mama and find a grown up roommate.

He obviously has been coddled and gotten his way by whining his whole life. No agreement with you will change that. It's not your job to change the boy into a man. Don't be somebody's fool. Get rid of him.

Answer 9

I think that you should talk to him about it , and if he gets defencive let him know that he will have to move out unless he follows by the rules. There is nothing worse than having to live in the same place as someone that you cannot stand. Also let him know that is your food and if he wants to eat to buy it himself.

Answer 10

get rid of him
some way
any way
then before you get a new one
have a pre-set of rules to go by and have the new person read and sign them

good luck