my nephew wont stop whining!! help?

Question

im living wit my sis and her 4 year old son will not stop whining and complaining. wat can i do to make this torture stop? every time we try to get him to do something he doesnt want to do, he goes into fits of yelling and screaming. like, we turned off the tv to eat dinner, and he went into his room and screamed for a good 5 minutes before he fell asleep. its driving all of us insane! if u have any suggestions plz tell me.

i personally dont think hes doing it to be manipulative. he seems to do it more around his mom. it seems to be more of a habit. i babysit them during the day and i dont put up wit that ****. i dont want to beat him, but ill try the jedi mind meld stuff. thanx!

Answer 1

1. Make sure that the child knows what is appropriate and inappropriate speech. Explain and demonstrate it to him. It is wrong to assume that he automatically know, so give him the benefit of the doubt.
2. Then tell him that you will no longer hear or respond to whining - - which you know he now understands!
3. Next time that he whines, say something like "Is someone talking? I don't hear whining....." or "Can you speak to me with an appropriate voice?" (My little ones instantly changed their tone of voice as young as 2!)
4. Make sure that you don't reward this undesired behavior by giving in to his demands when he whines or begs. Only honor his requests made with a pleasant tone of voice and mannerly language and attitude.
5. Reward his new skill with praise, hugs, and by fulfilling his requests when appropriate.
Please reserve spanking for serious offenses and defiance. Overuse makes it less effective and oppressive - maybe even abusive!

Answer 2

Give them nothing they whine for of couse. If you give into them- even once, or "sometimes" , you are actually teaching them TO whine. Try sign language if they can't talk yet. If they can talk, tell them they have to say "please may I have that?" Or they don't get it- at all!! They might go away screaming, but they might come back 1/2 hour later, and when you expect the same thing, and they want it bad enough, they will learn to use their words.

It might sound mean, but children really like boundaries in their life. Teach them some good character. No one likes to be around kids that whine. I think it's great you asked this question though.

Answer 3

How about giving him a weekly goal to not whine? For example at the end of each day if he has behaved and gone without whining/complaining during that time he gets a token to put into a container/jar with his name on it, then at the end of the week he is rewarded with a small toy(you don't have to always do this though) or special trip at the zoo/park/beach etc.
this may motivate him so he gets something out of behaving better all at the same time (leaving mom and aunt happier also). It worked for my kids, so it could work for your nephew. Good luck!

Answer 4

You cannot give into him, if you do you will just encourage the behavior you want to stop. There comes an age when children will whine. What you and your sister do from this point forward will determine how much he whines. My aunt has a son that is about 8 or 9 years old and when he starts to whine she starts to count and when she gets to 5 he loses some privilege that he really doesn't want to lose. Good Luck.

Answer 5

tell him to go outside, find a nice switch, and bring it back. using that switch, let him know thats a sign of authority, and inflict some pain by whipping him a few good ones on the rear. once he experiences what the switch has to offer, he will KNOW who has authority. Everytime thereafter, if he begins to whine and moan, show him the switch. If that doesnt change his mind about his behavior, give him a good few whippings. The behavior will fix itself one day through this disciplanary method.

A switch is a long and thin branch. A good strong one will be best. But thin is good too, it flys through the air faster, stings a little bit more, and makes a nice whip sound.

Answer 6

Don't we all love those tantrums! My son started that at 2. We just simply ignored it. After a while, he learned that all that drama is pointless and for the most part it stopped. My 13 month old is already showing signs of it. I'm nipping it in the bud by not giving in to his demands.

Answer 7

If he's getting any positive feedback for the whining it will continue. If he feels powerful by driving you nuts he probably loves it. If you can, ignore him and if he's not hurting himself he's fine in his room having his fit.

Since he falls asleep after this he may just be overtired. One of our daughters wouldn't take naps when she was 3 and she pulled this kind of stuff. She was allowed to be in her room to throw her tantrum but wasn't allowed to be the center of attention. Eventually she got curious about what the rest of us were doing and learned to behave herself.

She had a fit at a restaurant once and my husband picked her up and took her to the car. (It was parked right outside the window that was by our table.) It took about 5 minutes of being alone and wondering what we were doing (since she could see us eating and laughing) for her to shut up. She never acted up at a restaurant again.

Answer 8

In psychological parlance, this is called 'wanting to dominate all the time'. This happens in some kids when they realise that they have to share they mother / parents with other family members, and they feel the need to establish their dominance.
Besides tackling them with stern discipline, which takes time and perhaps you don't want to do, there are some herbs which can be given to overcome this emotionally deviant behaviour.

Answer 9

Beat his 4 year old azz..
It's obvious this child has no discipline and runs the house..He's used to getting his way. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do because this isn't your child.
Best thing to do..is hurry and get your own place..
Know this, if your sister does not get a control on her son, she will not be able to control once he's older and it will only get worst.

Answer 10

ignore him. If he knows that his screaming is bothering you guys it is to his advantage. He is being manipulative. Or you could always get a squirt bottle and squirt him every time he goes to screaming. Kids don't like to get wet. Then tell him you will quit when he quits. Eventually he will.