My 7 yr old dghter is major handful. Yells hits etc always in room as punishment. Help?

Question

She is really hard to deal with. It is an ongoing battle to get her to do her chores, or even to behave civily. I am consistent with her, but I am at my wits end. She tells me she hates me on a daily basis. What can I do.

Answer 1

Does she have a list or chart of what her chores are to follow? Then you just say, "Go do your list" and have her follow it instead of you nagging at her to do it.

Set incentives for her to get her chores done. If she doesn't need constant reminders and gets her chores finished, she gets some kind of reward. Small amount of money in her bank, special treat, time alone with mom/dad, extra hour of TV, etc.

It sounds like you are quite possibly locked in a power struggle with her. Check out some of the following books:

Kid Cooperation by Pantley
Kids, Parents & Power Struggles by Kurcinka
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber & Mazlish
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey

Lead by example. Treat her and others the way you want to see her act. If she can't behave civily, she may lose privledges. Sending her to her room is obviously not working.....she probably has plenty of fun stuff to do back there. Instead, take away privledges such as Gameboy, TV, computer time, etc.

Answer 2

My daughter just turned 8. Wow I wish there was a magic button you could push to help her but there is not. You obviously are not a bad parent you care enough to ask for help. You should be proud of yourself for that.
I have ran a daycare for over 8 years. I have had alot of hard children. I always tried to show them a positive outlook. Sometimes life even though it shouldn't be is hard for a 7 year old. To much responsibilites are hard on them.

Try to take her somewhere and have a good time. Reward her when she does good things. Tell her the better she is the more you can take her to her favorite park or a movie. Tell her you love her all the time.Good Luck i hope you can help yourself before she is a teenager.

Answer 3

no remember how previous our little ones are they'll continually be our infants ~ this is area of being a mom.. she will continually want you, it in basic terms variations as she gets older. As a discern all of us understand that our interest is meant to grow to be redundant - subject is that sometimes that transition comes way till now we are waiting for it LOL Your daughter's voicing her 'dream' never reflects a loss of sensitivity in the direction of you, i think of it is an common case of her being slightly self-absorbed in that 2d and not in any respect reflects an usual character trait. Having her very own room comes with usual jobs - cleansing it, adorning it and likewise having no person to proportion your thoughts with previous due at night or get convenience from once you have a frightening dream and those are realities she could not have theory approximately in her 2d of 'dreaming'! Being independant and robust willed is a powerful factor - the incontrovertible fact that she is able to proportion her desires with you and talk the failings she could like in existence with you - as a discern, this is a few thing to be very pleased with ~ motivate and nurture it!

Answer 4

Welcome to my world!

I have a newly turned 7 year old and he has been more trouble now than the so-called terrible 2's!

I found that going into his room for "punishment" is not punishment at all, all of his toys are there and he gets to do his own thing for awhile. The little buggers are really smart! They want to do what THEY want to do and that's it!

My husband and I TRICK my son into thinking he is doing something that HE wants to do. It takes some skill to do this. You know what your daughter likes to do, so incoporate the chore into what she enjoys doing. And CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES, don't yell at her for every little thing. If you do, eventually she'll tune you out (if she already hasn't). Yelling overload. Remember the "blah, blah," thing from the adults in the Peanuts cartoons?

They want to control their lives and will rebell against anything that makes them feel like they are being commanded to do something.

Some examples in my home:

The old way: We tell our son to pick his clothes off the floor and put them in the hamper. He'll take 2 hours to put 3 items in the hamper. All the while crying because he can't understand why HE has to do it!

So now we say you can get naked (It must be a guy thing, he loves running around the house naked) if you pick up your clothes while doing it. He jumps at the chance and the items are up in 5 minutes! He then puts his clothes back on and his moment of "freedom" has been enjoyed. He is then grateful for us giving into this "whim" and wants to know what other chore he can do.

We do the same thing with timing him (pretending he's in a rascar race, etc).

He really has no idea that he's getting his chores done, I'm no longer screaming at him and he's generally happy because he feels like he's in control of his life.

SIDENOTE: I feel that too many children are given drugs for behaving like kids. All of a sudden any child who doesn't listen or can't keep still has ADD or the like. WIth more mothers having to work these days and fathers working longer hours, children are getting less attention from their parents. When all they want to do is behave like children, they are asked to pitch in and do housework. (I know everyone has to help out, I'm not suggesting they don't). But just put yourself in the mindset of the child for awhile.

My son eats natural foods, no soda, and only organic meats. In the end he is still a 7 year old kid who wants to just play!

Now we get compliments from neighbors because we have the most well behaved child on the block. His camp counselor, told me that he wants his son to grow up like mine. We feel very proud. He is a great kid, both at home and out in public. (He knows to leave the "naked thing" at home :)

GOOD LUCK and RELAX..you are not alone!

Answer 5

what ever you do don't hit her or bribe her that makes it worse. Don't yell sit her don't and talk to her in words she under stands. Or have a fun trip set up every year and tell her when shes naughty that you don't get to go or make an agreement like if she has a temper tantrum take 1.00 off her spending money for the trip. That's what I did and i still do.

Answer 6

What kind of diet is your daughter getting. Is she eating a lot of junk foods? I classify anything that I have not cooked or eaten fresh to be junk. Is she consuming hugh amounts of anything that is lite, diet, fat free etc., is the foods she consumes contain lots of colours, and numbers like 471, 476, etc.. All these things could be contributing to her bad behaviour. Does she wear a lot of synthetic clothing, plastic jewellery etc...Have a look at what Elaine Hollingsworth says on her website. Good luck.

Answer 7

OHH! I used to do this. It's kinda like testing you. You need to relaxxxxxx! Take things away from her, let her cry and cry. Just keep taking them away until she learns. I guess you could spank her too but that never taught me anything and plus w/ the childrens right crap I wouldn't. She's gonna cry and scream and say your the meanest person in the world but it'll stop edventually. I'm 16 now.. but that's how i learned. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 8

well it sounds to me that your child has ADHD.. if i were you i would take to a doctor.............................................!!
Symptoms of ADHD in a child
Children with ADHD show signs of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity in specific ways. These children:

are in constant motion;
squirm and fidget;
do not seem to listen;
have difficulty playing quietly;
often talk excessively;
interrupt or intrude on others;
are easily distracted; and,
do not finish tasks.
Some behaviors can appear to be ADHD-related, but are not. Some causes of ADHD-like behavior are:

a sudden life change (such as divorce, a death in the family, or moving)
undetected seizures
medical disorders affecting brain function
anxiety
depression
A physician can conduct a medical history to help put a child's behavior in context. The physician will ask what symptoms a child is showing, how long the symptoms have occurred, and how the behavior affects a child and his/her family.

Types of ADHD in children
Physicians may classify symptoms as the following types of ADHD:

Combined Type (Inattentive/Hyperactive/Impulsive) — Children with this type of ADHD show all three symptoms. This is the most common form of ADHD.
Hyperactive/Impulsive Type — Children show both hyperactive and impulsive behavior, but are able to pay attention.
Inattentive Type (formerly known as attention deficit disorder [ADD]) — These children are not overly active. They do not disrupt the classroom or other activities, so their symptoms might not be noticed.
Medications overview for childhood ADHD
A class of drugs called psychostimulants appears to be the most effective treatment for Childhood ADHD. These medicines, including methylphenidate (Ritalin and Concerta) and dextroamphetamine (Adderal XR), help children to focus their thoughts and ignore distractions. Stimulant medications are effective in 70 to 80 percent of patients. Nonstimulant medications include atomoxetine (Strattera).

ADHD medicines are available in short-acting (immediate-release), intermediate-acting and long-acting forms. It may take some time for a physician to find the best medication, dosage and schedule for an individual with ADHD. ADHD drugs sometimes have side effects, but these tend to happen early in treatment. Usually, side effects are mild and short-lived.

Behavioral treatments for children with ADHD
Behavioral treatment for Childhood ADHD involves adjusting the environment to promote more successful social interactions. Such adjustments include creating more structure, encouraging routines, and clearly stating expectations of the child with ADHD.

Children with ADHD may need help in organizing. Therefore, it is a good idea to do the following:

Schedule. Have the same routine every day, from wake-up time to bedtime. The schedule should include homework time and playtime.
Organize needed everyday items. Have a place for everything and keep everything in its place. This includes clothing, backpacks, and school supplies.
Use homework and notebook organizers. Stress the importance of writing down assignments and bringing home needed books. It may be helpful for both parents and teachers to sign any assignment book.
Children with ADHD need consistent rules that they can understand and follow. If children follow rules, they should be rewarded. Children with ADHD often receive, and expect, criticism. Children’s good behavior should be sought out and praised.

What treatment is best for my child?
For children with ADHD, no single treatment is the answer for every child. A child may have undesirable side effects to a medication, making a particular treatment unacceptable. If a child with ADHD also has anxiety or depression, a treatment combining medication and behavioral therapy might be best. Each child's needs and personal history must be carefully considered. It is important to work with a physician to find the best solution in each case of ADHD.

Answer 9

If you catch her on a good day, ASK HER. Then really listen to her answer. My son was that way... that's how I found out he was having a problem with kids at school picking on HIM because of his cousin (who has ADHD/ODD), and he was "acting out" at home, because he didn't feel he could DO anything at school about it. Once I got the school thing dealt with, he calmed down a LOT. Kids will "let loose" at home because they feel SAFE there...

Answer 10

honestly i am going through the same thing but my son has adhd i was told by a wise woman yesterday to punish him and ignore his arguing and crying because he is trying to get reaction out of me maybe u should to and if u have to take all the toys out of the bedroom when u send her there it might help