I've always found it disturbing when people give men extra credit if they help raise or take sole responsiblity for their children. WHY? If you help to create a child and bring them into this world. Aren't you obligated to help and raise them. I am a single mother who doesn't get help from her childs father, but I don't get any awards or pats on the back. Being a parent isn't about getting props. The best reward for being a good parent is raising a beautiful (inside and out), caring, and respectable member of society.
2006-08-06 13:04:39 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
LINDZY:
This not only a thing that happens in the ghetto. Men from middle classed, to poor, to rich have been accuse of not caring for their children. All nationalities also. Yet seeing one that is shouldn't be given a damn parade. They should be treated like everyone else.
2006-08-06 13:14:52 · update #1
Joni B:
I hate that too.
2006-08-06 13:16:29 · update #2
s_bodhi:
Spoken like a true man, LOL. Money has nothing to do with it all types of men can be dead beats, but they shouldn't be treated like superman if they do take care of their kids. Millions of women do it everyday and it's just excepted. Women everyday work, take car of the kids and the house. Provide and love their children ALONE. Assuming that women should stay off their backs is so sexist. If a woman is on her back then someone needs to be on top ejaculating for her to get pregnant.
2006-08-06 13:48:40 · update #3
Well, that's the way it should work, but in the history of parenting, it's always been the female who has been responsible for childcare. The men were to contribute sperm and an income. I was born in the 1960's, and I know my father never changed a diaper, fed or bathed me or my brother. He went to work early in the morning, and when he came home, we were already fed and bathed and he played with us for a bit and off to bed we went.
I'm a single mom, too, and I never understood why my husband didn't fall in love with our sons as much as I did.
It's just that it's still not the norm - it's much more prevalent and accepted now for fathers to be raising their own kids, but it's still not the norm, so when you hear about it, it's something "different' and "special" in some ppeople's eyes.
2006-08-06 13:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by pynkbyrd 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Being a parent isn't easy. Various factors make it very hard to be a father in this society, particularly if you are poor.Some guys give up because of the women - some of you women are crazy. Others are unable or unwilling to help provide for their children. Between the Friend of the Court and the mothers' themselves, many men feel overwhelmed and just give up because the system SEEMS to be against them. It is almost to the point where if you are poor and unmarried (never married or divorce), you have very few rights and much is expected of you. Men that can stick it out for the long term, should be commended and get props.
Many women bring it on themselves. Women need to be more selective about who they sleep with and make babies with. Maybe if they spent less time on their backs and more time using their heads, they would make better choices in husbands and fathers.
2006-08-06 20:37:57 · answer #2 · answered by s_bodhi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We, as a society, have never gotten past the notion that it is a woman's responsibility to care for the children. Don't get me wrong I personally don't believe that, but a lot of people still think that way. It used to be men would work and women would care for the kids, but some are reversing the roles and I think that's awesome. Men do need to take more responsibility in taking care of their kids. I don't see it happening anytime soon though.
2006-08-06 20:25:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't get any awards or pats on the back? every day when your kids say"I love you momma" that isn't a reward. Or when they make that special picture at school just for you isn't a reward? When they snuggle up to you just because they want to be next to you, isn't a reward? Or that silly little smile at you, isn't that a reward? I do see what you are saying but our rewards as being a mother to our children are so enormous and so many of take them for granted, and so many of look for something so big to express what a great mother we are when all along it is right in our face every single day! There are so many, actually too many men that do not take part in their children's lives, so the ones that do seem to get all of the credit, and I too will give it to them in hopes that more men see that and step up because they want some too! I am rewarded every single day and I am grateful , I know I am a good mom as my kids tell me so, I will give props to any man who steps to the plate!
2006-08-06 21:20:35 · answer #4 · answered by Rocky C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat hun, single mom of a 3 year old daughter and I know what you are feeling. Fortunately my ex- husband is a great dad and we are still friends. But some men are just simply losers and they surprise a lot of people (friends & family) when they actually step up to the plate and take responsibility for what they have created, because as many know they usually dont.
2006-08-06 20:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by Mercedes Leanne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a women I understand...its like men DO get more props than a women.
And the women is the one who really desreves IT.
Maybe they give them more credit because alot of men are chickens and run out on the kids. And the ones who stay, well...
I dont think they deserve more credit than a women...its there job just like it is a womens!
2006-08-06 20:09:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with you, 2000% My to be EX never did anything to help, other than a pay check, and I was working also full time. I stoped a one child, and I've done a really good job on her, some day I'll have grand kids, and get to do it again.
2006-08-06 20:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything that goes against the "norms" of society(single dads)is either going to get praised or be rediculed.That's just the way our society is.
FYI,I was a single dad,and didn't expect any "extra cedit";you do what you have to as a parent,man or woman.
2006-08-06 20:11:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have no idea why! I absolutely agree with you. But i have one question for you. Is the father in a sense, "ghetto" or from the ghetto. Because i know a for a fact around there people are like that.
2006-08-06 20:08:09 · answer #9 · answered by Lindzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because talk shows glorify single mothers in america's eyes. So then it's a big ******** suprise when there is actually a GOOD dad. Like OMG is it really that rare? NO! stfu Opera
2006-08-06 20:09:39 · answer #10 · answered by zetser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋