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she makes me go to church which i dont really believe in. how do i tell her gently?

2006-08-06 12:34:44 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

im 16 yrs. old. for expample it being sunday shes insisting we all go to church. i told her i didn't want to go and she bitched at me about it, asking for a valid reason i didn't have the courage to tell her so i just got up and got dressed. she threatened me saying that if i don't go to church she won't let me go to 6 flags on tuesday.

it hurts to not beable to tell her my beliefs and that im forced to go to church on false terms.

2006-08-06 13:00:30 · update #1

5 answers

You can put up with church for two more years. Then you can sit her down, hand her a dictionary and say "mom, I am a deist." Don't expect her to take to the idea like a duck to water but when you live in someone else's house they can pretty much make up the rules. One of your mom's rules is that if you don't go to church you don't get to go to 6 Flags. You didn't mention whether you went to Six Flags or if you were paying your own way or if your parents were paying your way. Have you ever heard of the "golden rule". Adults know that the golden rule has nothing to do with "do unto others and you would have them do unto you." (The original meaning of the term "the golden rule.) In society today---the golden rule states: The one with the gold RULES!

You can continue to go to church for 2 more years. It won't kill you.

2006-08-06 14:19:14 · answer #1 · answered by oph_chad 5 · 0 2

This is really difficult because parents always think they know what's best for their children..... even if the "child" is 50 :-)

Do you have a trusted family member like an aunt or uncle who would be on your side and be able to talk to your mom? How about someone your mom looks up to? Like her priest or minister? Believe it or not, many religious leaders are sympathetic and not at all judgemental. Especially if you explain your feelings about going to church under false pretenses.

However you approach this problem, it won't be easy. And your mom may not accept your beliefs, no matter how many people are on your side.

From one deist to another, good luck.

2006-08-06 14:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Angry C 7 · 0 0

You don't say how old you are. Is your mom ready to let you have a choice? If you can talk to her about most things she may be able to handle this, too. If not, you may have to go but you don't have to suck it all in. Look at it as a study in religion and you will have extra knowledge, but not belief. Does she look at others with your beliefs as evil? That could make a big difference. I have known some parents that went to extremes to get their kids back on "the right path", so I told them to cooperate until they were old enough to say no thank you. You know your mom and how far you can go in telling her your feelings. You can try to tell her that these beliefs just don't touch your heart the way the others do, but that wouldn't make them wrong, just not yours.
I wish you much good luck!

2006-08-06 12:54:02 · answer #3 · answered by Myr 3 · 0 0

There is no way to tell it gently....that kind of info., no matter how softly you tell it, is shocking to a parent who is staunchly religious. It is similar as telling your mom you're gay...She is going to react with anger and sadness (the grieving process). But it is best to be honest with her, even if it hurts her feelings.

2006-08-06 12:46:33 · answer #4 · answered by Denise W 4 · 0 0

JEST TALK TO HER AND BE HONEST AND LET HER KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO CHURCH


GOOD LUCK

2006-08-06 12:40:20 · answer #5 · answered by juanita2_2000 7 · 0 0

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