How to deal with weird people?

Question

I have invited some schoolmates for my birthday a week in advance, and three days before the event this girl writes me back saying that she will come but she will not have time to buy a present. Isnt that extremely weird? I was on the verge to tell her to get lost, but controlled myself and acted coolly. I mean it is not because of the present, but because it is just so rude to write something like this to the birthdaygirl.

oh, and she does have a lot of money, she is loaded with money actually, so it cant be because of money, otherwise i would understand.

no-no. i really dont care about present. I would rather have someone to turn up without a present at all, than someone who writes me a note three days in advance to say they cant spare time to buy me a present. i know she has lots of time, because she Does go shopping a lot.

I think if I was in her shoes, let's say i would really be busy and invited to someone's bday, i would really run to Tesco's or smtg and just buy a bouquet of flowers. Just to cheer up the mood of birthdaygirl

Moreover, she knows that I am studying and living in this country on my own and have no relatives to be with me on this day.

Answer 1

It's pretty weird and tacky. I wouldn't even dignify the note with a response. Just ignore the weird behavior and try to enjoy everyone's company at the party.

Answer 2

Maybe she thinks you'll judge her if she turns up empty handed, and is too shy or scared to approach you about it. She may have written this to let you know, so that you had a chance to tell her not to bother coming if that's what you wanted. She may not have the money to get you anything.

You could take offence at the fact that she felt she had to do this, as this indicates she felt she was invited solely for the present-bearing aspect, but perhaps she didn't think this, but believed she should inform you in adavance to cancel the expectation of a gift she is used to at these kind of events.

Then again, she may be, as you said, a little weird, and written it absent mindedly. If you're not bothered about the present, just be pleased she's coming, and forget her response. She may not have expressed what she meant to as articulately as she desired.

Answer 3

Are you sure it's not about the present? Would you rather have her just show up empty-handed? Either way, I'm thinking you'll be upset. Isn't the purpose of a birthday party to gather friends together to help you celebrate your happy day? Or, just to see how many expensive presents you get from them? I'd rather have my best friends come over empty-handed then some casual acquaintances loaded down with more crap I don't need.

Answer 4

Hahaha. What I find weird is you're more worried about the fact that she won't "buy" you a gift then the fact that she's coming. Apparantly she's not a friend or you wouldn't call her "this girl". So wouldn't it be more important for you to enjoy this girl's company at your party and be thankful she even came, seeing as how she apparantly doesn't really know you? At least this way, after she get's to know you, (from the possible friendship that develops from her being at this party) she can at least buy you something she knows you'll like for your next birthday.

Funny how the important things in life have changed so drastically.

Answer 5

I'm sure she didn't mean to offend you. i bet she was worried about turning up without a present and just wanted to know if she could still come without one.

sounds like she has no money but doesn't want to admit it, of course she has time with a week to get one but money could be it!

i don't think she meant to be rude, she was testing the water to see if you'd still let her come.

if she's a good mate and your a genuine person, presents wont matter, surely it's better to have all your mates there and no presents, to expect them with gifts is a bit shallow, I'm sure your not at all like that x

Answer 6

I agree with the reply that said your friend may feel embarrassed because she doesn't have time to get a present. She doesn't want to come empty-handed.

She may be acting within etiquette- if one is invited to a party, it is considered polite to bring a gift to the party.

Were you inviting people just to get presents? If so, you should be the one who is weird.

Your friend may actually get you something very nice. You should be the one who is ashamed.

Answer 7

Maybe she is very short on money and is far too embarrassed to say anything about her lack of present to you at your party in case everyone laughs at her, she is not weird but your mean for been so horrid about someone you invited to a party.

Answer 8

there is extraordinary climate happening everywhere! In China that's snowing greater desirable than it has in a protracted time. And for the 1st time in years long island hasn't had any measurable snow storms! loopy! right here in Colorado we've been having sunny days then snowstorms the very next day. If i did no longer have God in my existence i could be so scared.

Answer 9

thats terrible! it doesnt have to be a big present. just something small. i would never go to a party without a small gift. wot does she mean, not have time to buy a present? it only takes a min to nip in the shop and buy some choccies! wot a tight @ss!

Answer 10

maybe she had no money to buy you a present, and fealt guilty,so she wrote that so she would not be embarrassed when she turns up for the party with no present! but deep down she wanted to buy you a present

Answer 11

If you invited her for a present, you are a selfish *****! Perhaps she had more guts than you will ever have and for whatever reason decided it was innapropriate, accept her judgement, accept her decision, stop feeling peeved cos you were not getting yet another bauble!!