is it normal not to like my future mother-in-law?

Question

she's ok, in general but i hate it when she tries to be so "childish" with my partner esp when i'm not around. perhaps im just being jealous (and i feel really guilty about this) but in the future, i prefer to live far from her so she wont be able to bother us. another reason could be is that, she is not like my mother. my future mom-in-law tends to become so emotional. she even cries in public. oh, well..

Answer 1

It is totally normal to feel like that. I think there is always an unspoken jealousy between mother in laws and daughter in laws. It's like they were the woman in his life and now you are and sometimes its hard to draw the line on whose opinion he should value more. As long as once you are married he and she get that you are the woman of the house and she is not then everything will be fine. Don't write off the relationship too quickly. Your mother in law can be one of your best friends if you both respect eachother. My mother in law is the total opposite of my mom too . She is emotional and cries easy and hugs a lot...yuck! But after a few years I got use to it. She loves me and I love her. I know she would do anything for me or my kids. When I was on bedrest while pregnant she took care of me , did my laudry and took care of my older 2 boys. Dont write her off too fast . She is his mom and if you can keep your jealousy in check (it wont always be easy) you may find a real friend and ali in her.I've been married for 11 years and we
have lived next door to her for the last 8 so I know where of I speak.

Answer 2

Yeah.... she's upstaging you. And it's sickening. Whether it's a mother-in-law or a friend or a sister or whatever... those kind of women make me want to vomit. Showing off their emotions-- thinking that makes them so special. Have you ever asked your future husband how he feels about that? Without putting her down, just kind of sidle into the subject. You might find it bugs the crap out of him, too. Otherwise, he probably would have chosen a wife who acted the same way. If you find he hates that, too... then honestly, it won't bother you as much! You two will be able to laugh it off, like a private joke between you. Even if it doesn't bother him, just try to laugh it off as much as you can.

It's not entirely unusual to dislike a person's mother-in-law.... it's an age-old problem. But it is ill advised to make a big thing out of it. Be very, very careful about criticizing his mother to him. Even if you love them, like them, think they're wonderful.... you say ONE negative thing about the guy's Mom and he will possibly go ballistic. I had the best MIL in the world, God rest her soul. We got along wonderfully... but the few times I had the nerve to say anything bad about her, it wasn't a good thing. Been married 34 years.

Answer 3

Yes it is normal, but seen you will be marring her daughter you may just have to get use to the term grin and bear it. You may grow to like her and get use to her on the other hand if you don't you will just have to put up with her for your wife's sake, plus the future grandchildren. Plus your new wife might not like the idea of being so far apart from her mother. And you also may need help one day in the future and she may be the only one to help you out. So give this one some extra thought. Good luck budz.

Answer 4

Yes. It is pretty normal. Most people dont like they partners family either way. But the best way is to be yourself, and always keep the politiness intacked. And moving away is good, except for the visit. The farther away you are, the longer they would usually stay over.

Hehe. Move like...3 hours away by car. That way, she will be like..why dont you guys visit? You be like..its a 3hr drive. Then she will say something, and you be like...okay we will come to visit next week.

And you will, maybe for like...dinner or something. A day or whater. Then you leave. And she leaves you alone for a long time. Months, they bugs you again. Hehe

Answer 5

YES it's normal! Women are and always will be women, which means there's friction. Esp when a man is involved. Whether it be husband, son, brother, or grandson women feel a sense of territorialism when it comes to a man. She still wants to be the most important woman in his life, whether she admits it or not and you being his future wife threatens that. Sounds like to me shes the one who needs to get use to it, and her son is the one who needs to be the one to help her see that. Don't ever move next to her! And you just need to keep being your sweet self. Don't ever let her know that she gets to you. I know that sometimes its hard but bit your tongue. Let him see how she is, and in the end you win all the way around. Without ever being the BAD guy. Good Luck.

Answer 6

YEs inlaws are always annoying. to some degree, some more than others, but in some rare cases inlaws get along with the kids spouses. Just don't invite her to live with you, that is what spawned my divorce. I didn't even have a choice if she was there or not. Maybe that is what ticked me off most. Not to mention she is a spoiled, nasty, dirty old lady who throws fits and bosses the entire family around and came in and took over everyone, who's the boss here?-Dear sweet mother-in-law.

Answer 7

Mom's forget to tell their sons to grow up on this point. chuckle. I was a mom-in-law, am. Rather than upset her, I left her alone and my son would come see me without her. We had a good time but if he said bad things about her... I shook HIM up. I told him to go straight home and apologize for being disloyal to her. My mother was horrible to my granny and my granny just cried and cried. I hardly ever got to see her without my mom raging. I decided I'd rather be like my granny and not cry so I make him take time for her first always. She loves me now and cares deeply for me. Him too. We have a wonderful time. I am so thankful that she chose him. She's been a wonderful asset.

Answer 8

I read somewhere that the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is the most strained relationship throughout the world.
My mother-in-law and I get along much better than we used to, if that helps any. Going through the same kind of things helped too.

Answer 9

apparently like some unusual conduct popping out of your boy friends mom.....i'm able to't think she grabs his butt cheeks principally. My oldest daughter used hence a techniques a boy who's mom kissed him passionately on the lips, it sickened my daughter such lots that she broke up with him, later he admitted she only about had molested him all his life....this does happen to boys too. tell your boy chum you've faith it really is unappropriate for her to snatch his bottom. Is he an maximum useful youngster? She definately demands the final public of his expertise apparently like. My mom in legislations did an outstanding style of the option concerns you recognized. it truly is troublesome to comply with substantial different and little ones differences it truly is for convinced. I want all of it incredibly works out, some relationships only do not look valued on the duty of dealing with their substantial different and little ones...it truly is a few difficulty you'll could make a call, as all and sundry knows when we marry someone, their substantial different and little ones is a element of the relationship also. He changed into raised by ability of her and is used to this conduct and could probably believe it really is sufficient.....properly reliable fortune to you!

Answer 10

Yes its normal. The mother will always have in the back of her mind that no woman can ever love her son the way she can. They cry allot because they love there son. Plus there old so there proberly a bit loose wired. Have fun!