Any tips for this shy guy?

Question

I am really scared of approaching of girls and always think NO in my mind before approaching........31 without relationship.........please help!

Answer 1

its all about taking risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained right?..Right!. I know you must get really nervous because you're afraid of rejection. We all are, you just have to learn how to control it. Evaluate your self esteem and make a mental note of all the great qualities you have to offer a girl. Confidence will help you. Once you start building up on that, (which by the way, confidence is really sexy) itll be easier to approach new girls. Ask your friends if they can invite some of their friends over, or try group dates at first. Once you start talking to a girl, find common interests and don't be scared to let your personality shine through. You just have to get out there, and if you do fall under the wrath of rejection, know theres someone else out there for you. I wish you the best luck.!

Answer 2

I don't think you should be scared to approach anyone. Why don't you take the time to become friends, first with yourself, and then others. Many times, we as humans, try way too hard, to find someone, when we have not yet found ourselves. Be your own best friend first. Discover your likes, dislikes. Take care of yourself, and be happy. When you do that, you emanate a light that attracts others to you. You will see that others will notice the changes within you, and will be attracted by that, whether they be male, female, friends or love interests. Don't rush in to anything, just to have a relationship. Allow things to come naturally.
Good luck!

Answer 3

I think that the online thing sounds promising as you don't meet them straight away and just chat via email. You can then decide whether or not to meet up having built a rapport.

Otherwise, just be yourself. If you like someone, talk to them. DO NOT come over all sleazy though as this is a huge turnoff!!

At the end of the day, if its not meant to be, it won't happen and if it is then it'll develope gradually.

Starting a conversation can be difficult but if you can gain some positive eye contact first then there should be no problem.

Answer 4

Could talk to your Doctor about taking a mild antidpressant, or rather a low dose of an anti-anxiety pill. For your overall mental health (because anxiety can effect your entire life, and is often mistook as shyness).

After that, go to the library and get some books on how to talk to women, books on dating, and books on relationships. Being educated about dating and women is a huge help for anyone. Vice versa.

Think of all those sad and lonely women out there just waiting for a man to invite them to a movie, dinner, or for a walk in the park. Start off as friends, let it grow, and always just be honest with her about your feelings. We don't bite (unless you ask).

Answer 5

Find a job you can do at home, order everything you need online, including hookers and never leave the house again.
or...
Go totally overkill, devote a few nights to approaching as many women as you possibly can, without the objective of trying to score - just to get yourself used to it. Force yourself to do this and you'll soon be more comfortable with women.

Answer 6

Easy, just be yourself. That is, watch the news, read Newsweek and Time and just "talk about current events" while giving others A CHANCE TO TALK. Remember this simple fact. If you've spoken for more than 3 minutes, "you've talked too much and stop." Give others a chance to express themselves before they "forget" what they too want to say. Your OPINION isn't the only one that's important. By respecting others you will gain respect and good will, this in turn will build confidence and people will feel friendly towards you because THEIR OPINION COUNTS with you!

Give people a chance! They are MORE like you, than LESS like you! All of us want to be liked!

Answer 7

Build your confidence up.Start by chatting to girls online,then move on to speaking to girls over the phone before finally having the courage to approach a girl face to face.Believe me when youve done it once you will wonder what all the fuss was about

Answer 8

You're 31. I'm 31 too. Are you afraid of rejection. My problem is that I'm over social and freindly sometimes and I aproach too much.

It does help if you can find something to compliment her on and then just maybe try to start canual conversations. A color she is wearing, her make up, her smile, something.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

The worst thing is not asking and what is the wost thing that can happen, she says no, your no worst off than before, and the best thing is she may say yes. Play the numbers keep asking and one will say yes. Trust me on that one. If you dance go to a club and pick the best looking woman in the bar and ask her to dance, if she says no, do not ask her again. If she says yes try to make eye contact with her and smile, if she responds and makes eye contact with you and smiles, your in. Keep her on the dance floor and in between songs make small talk with her, ask her name, tell her your name. Walk her back to her table and ask her if you can join her and buy her a drink. Be cooooool don't get pushy, talk about her. Women love to talk about them self, pretend you are interested, even if your not. Never brag about yourself. Keep em guessing. Good luck

Answer 10

You'll think I am crazy, but here goes. Take some ballroom dancing lessons. First, you will have to make conversation with the women you dance with at the classes. Second, as you learn to dance and talk, you will gain confidence. Third, women really dig guys that can dance.