How do I get my family to respect and consider me?

Question

I am the only one who goes to a job and when I come home my husband and my kids have done nothing and first thing they ask me is whats for dinner. I go to the kitchen and there are dirty dishes piled up and so Ihave to clean to cook and I feel like a work horse . Where is the respect in this?

Answer 1

To get respect, you have to demand it in the way you behave. Don't continue to make dinner for them unless they start helping out around the house. You are the mother, not a live in slave. Set out some ground rules for them. Make up a chore chart, and rotate who does what responsability. Create a weekly and daily to-do list for your family. Make it very clear to them that this will help the family function better, and will allow you to be a better mother and wife, and will enable them to fulfill their proper roles as members of the family. Your husband really needs to be more helpful. Tell them that unless they have the kitchen clean and ready for you when you come home, there will be no dinner. They will undoubtedly make a fuss about all this because they have been spoiled for so long, but hold your ground. They are not helpless. Just think about this, your children are going to grow up expecting others to always do things for them. You are, in effect, neglecting them by not teaching them self sufficiency skills. This is not to make you feel bad. Just tell them that you will not tolerate the way things have been, that there are going to be some changes, period. Tell your husband that you need him to be your partner in this, and if he refuses, you may have to do this solo. I know that this is going to be challenging, but I think what's more challenging is continuing to live the way you are. Make the change for yourself! You deserve to live a happy, functional life!

Answer 2

Hope you don't get mad about this, but from what you are saying, dad is the "Mr.Mom" here and not doing his part. You didn't say how old the kids are either. It sounds as though you have got a very lazy bunch of people there that is your family.

I think that I would eat somewhere other than at home until they can learn to do their part and that means hubby as well.

I would go in and clean everything up one time and then let them ALL know that is how you wanted it to stay. If not dad can go back to work and YOU be the stay at home mom. Or they would ALL be in there helping me get it cleaned up.

What is dad doing all day while you are at work? Is he just letting the kids run wild and doing what ever it is that they want to do.

Answer 3

I recommend that you eat out and leave the mess and the meals to the slobs. Stop enabling them to walk all over you. If you want respect, just accept that they are capable of doing these things for themselves. If they want to eat with you the chores have to be done first or go by yourself. You should feel no guilt, right now you are raising lazy kids. If your man isn't working and messing up the house, tell him to get off his rear or get out. Stop supporting him. Give him a bill for his share of the household stuff. For half of the children to if they are his. You can take him to small claims court if he won't get a job and pay. Send it in a certified letter to him though so he has to sign for it. Keep detailed records instead of cleaning up after a bum

Answer 4

I would have a good family heart to heart talk.
Let them know your bring the bacon home.
If they don't listen, try eating out before you go home. Let daddy fix the kids something to eat, if he can find any clean dishes.
Good Luck!

Answer 5

nicely bibically your marriage ought to come first. As in marriage is meant to unite 2 human beings as one. i for my section war with that by way of fact i think of I relatively have a tendency to place my teenagers first. for example i think of i for my section easily placed greater attempt into my dating with my infants (a while sixteen /13) as in I make a component to work out I spend sufficient one on one time with them and tell them how plenty they are enjoyed. i'm confident if I placed as plenty attempt in my marriage it would make my marriage greater effectual. As my teenagers are ageing I greater see the reason for marriage first bc my teenagers are meant to circulate away living house, grow to be self sufficient, and finally come across a miles better half. so as which means quickly i visit be in a house with only my husband and in case you haven't any longer placed attempt mandatory in that dating and concentrated specially on the infants then you definately would be wanting probelms. i will now see why marriages give way as quickly as the infants circulate away. And to characteristic it is likewise being a competent discern to concentration on your marriage by way of fact it relatively is superb for the mothers and fathers of youngster to be at the same time in maximum circumstances. on a similar time as an grownup now i will say I want now and lower back greater now that my mothers and fathers have been nevertheless married, it would make holiday journeys and grandkid activities plenty much less complicated.

Answer 6

ALL OF THE ABOVE ANSWERS ARE GREAT. LEAVE, GET AWAY FROM THESE BUMS.............THEY'LL EITHER GET TO WORK OR NOT. EITHER WAY YOU WIN.

Answer 7

TELL THEM TO,THEY WILL!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO SHOW THEM THAT YOUR IN CONTROL. OR THEY WILL LOOK AT YOU AND TREAT YOU,THE WAY YOU HAVE ALREADY ALLOWED THEM TO. TAKE CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!