Do I move out or stay?

Question

I have this boyfriend, hes around a year and a few months older, and we've been dating for amost 10months. I've had 3 serious relationships before him and I know that this one is very different, I'm definately realizing what Love means. So about 2 months ago, we got drunk, and had been fighting a bit that week, I dont know why. Well we got in an arguement about him moving cuz he was moving away and I wanted him to stay with me, and he said he didnt know how, and then we got onto jelousy issues, which he has a serious problem trusting me and believing that I have never cheated on him, and that I want no one else. So basically I provoked him and he wanted me to leave and I said no, and then he threatened to hit me, and I taunted him I guess because I honestly did not believe he would, but he did. So my parents hate him now and forbid us to see eachother, and hes moved to London ON 5hrs away, and hes giving me a month to decide if I move out with him, or stay and hes disowning me, I'm17

Theres also alot of good things though, hes getting a GED and we;re going to finish high school up there, and I'm going to have 2 jobs cuz theres lots of opprotunities (much more then my small town)
My family loves me very much, but they are too protective and I just cant stand not being with him, I DONT WANT TO LET HIM DOWN, cuz he is reeeally counting on me and hes totally changed his ways, hes on antidepressants because of what happend! He really wants to make a life for us, and I believe him, but no one believes me that this is a good decision for me...I really dont know what to do I'm so torn and stuck on him, we are amazing together but 1 mistake tore us apart...Please dont be afriad to upset me with your answer I need the truth, and an outsiders opinion

Answer 1

Your way to young. Your both way too young for that matter. I'd say stay at home. It's not worth losing your family over a guy. If he is the right one for you, he will wait and always be there for you. If he dumps you because you won't move in with him...he may not be the one for you.

In only a year you will be 18 and all lea gal and able to move out or do whatever you want with your life. So wait, it's not that long.

You feel that he is 'the only one for you', but you have not experienced life yet. No relationship you had as a kid is close to a real adult one. So all the stuff in the past is nice fluff, but little else.

Answer 2

Sorry but 2 me u show u are immature , just the way u talk.How can u believe u are ready 2 move in with a guy that all ready hit u once. It starts with just 1 / a promise never 2 do it again .U are only 17 u say both of u will go 2 school in London oh sure u with 2 jobs when do u get 2 study /what about him u never said is he just going 2 sit on **** / let u support him ?Why big hurry stay with parents for another year.The saying is if u love him let him go free ,if he returns then he is for u. disowning u give ur head a shake that all so says he is not in love with u but wants 2 own u 2 different things.Ur parents are right give yourself time stay home u will see Parents where right.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Are you really serious? I 'm sorry to sound so discouraging,but do you realize what you said.

I am only 22 and I remember my first love. I was 17 also. I convinced myself that he was the guy I would spend the rest of my life with.

He ended up dumping me for another girl, but even after that I would have taken him back if he would have had me. I know what you're feeling, and I'm not really sure what to say - because at 17 we are soo young and vulnerable and stubborn.

My parents hated the fact that I was with him, because they knew he was bad news, but I knew the real Johnny, that could wrap his arms around me and everything else didn't matter. Oh how I wish I could pass on my new found wisdom.

But I also know that no matter what kind of advice you get here - your mind is already made up. One way or the other. I think you're looking for someone to understand and tell you not to go.
I really hope that what you need.
I wish that I could say that I've heard of guys that can be reformed, and he probably won't hit you again. But those are not the facts. The Fact is that the chances of him hitting you again are more than probable and it will only get easier for him to lift his hand, and harder for you to leave as time passes.

I'm sure you've heard this a million times - But if he really loves you, he will wait till your parents calm down and he gets his feet planted firmly on the ground. That's what a real man would do for his partner. But I think his love is questionable just from the threats to disown you if you are not under his thumb, so that he can keep an eye on you. .Some advice before you make your decision - Talk to your friends, hang out with your buddies, ask yourself if you are ready to give up your life at home with your family and friends, to probably being a full time house wife with no one around to vent and talk to. That's just one small disadvantage.


My mom told me that she knew she could talk til she was blue in the face - but only I could decide when I had had enough. And that she wished I could learn from her mistakes - but that's impossible, and we will all go through these lessons ourselves.
She's a very smart lady, who I might add has been married for 25 happy years.

I wish that you could learn from my mistakes to - but if this is something that you are going to do then be prepared.

1. Make sure you always have a way home.
2. Protect yourself - you have enough on your plate - you don't need to get pregnant until you have a secure home for that child and a safe environment to raise it in. He will need mature parents and you are ready at 17, I know from personal experience.
3. If he hits you again, it should be proof that it won't stop. And you should make a promise to yourself to never take that abbuse again. (I'm not saying, tell him you're leaving if he hits you again. - just leave!)

I want you to know that within your question you used words like drunk, fighting, arguement, jealousy issues, trusting problems, cheated, threathened, hate, forbid, and disown to discribe either your b/f, or your relationship with your b/f.
But not once did you say that he is caring, supportive, ambitous, loving, kindhearted, respectful, or anything that would make me think he is the guy that you really want be involved with.

Please be careful - you have soo many more broken hearts to have, and soo many more hearts to break.

I promise you'll see.

Your Friend,
~Kendra~

Answer 5

When I was 17, I met the man of my dreams. I couldn't live without him. My family told me he was no good, they forbid me to see him. I went behind their backs and saw him anyway because we were in love, they didn't know him like I did. After a year of sneeking around he started hitting me. Each time he was so sorry for what he had done and promised it would never happen again, he was getting help from doctors because he loved me, but nothing changed. When I finally left him, he beat me so bad I was in the hospital for 5 days. I don't know what hurt worse, my broken body or my broken heart, but I can tell you this, love will do crazy things to your head, trust your family, they only want you to be happy. I'm 31 now and I can't believe how stupid I was for believing all the lies he told me. A real man will never raise his hand to you. You are young there are alot of men out there who will treat you with the respect that you deserve. Please take care of yourself

Answer 6

Okay--I'm gonna repeat myself AGAIN!! Girl, if a man hits you once, odds most certainly are that he will do it again. And again. And yet again!!!! What's it gonna take for you to realize that enough is enough? Don't use alcohol as an excuse for him, and please don't go to London with him--you could be making the biggest mistake of your life.And can u honestly blame your parents for hating him? He hurt you, not only physically, but emotionally, too. If it had been me, my mom would've not only hated this guy, she'd have gone and kicked the living s*** out of him. So let him disown you, cuz I think you can do alot better---if you move out to London with him, I can almost garauntee that you'll ruin your life. Take care and good luck.

Answer 7

errrm your 17? then I actually think its not legal to move with someone who isn't family or someone who can legally take car of you. Dear you are too young, open your eyes if he hits you he's not worth it. I guess you'll find a far better guy. And you said you had 3 serious relationships. How old were you when you had these relationships 15? If you think about it you must be mistanking lust + caring with love. Good luck

Answer 8

Sweetie, you are too young to make a move like that. You may not understand why, but your family is looking out for you best interest. Any good friend would tell you the same thing. If he hit you, there is no thining twice. One hit and your done.

Answer 9

no way girlfriend. you moving with him is only going to cause more serious problems, like financial and emotional ones. You are too young to have some guy hitting on you. it's not worth it, your life is worth more than that and he shouldn't be giving you these ultimatums. and don't fall for that if you love me you would come with me bull ****. believe me it's better if you just stayed put besides i know you don't want to work two jobs that's crazy only people who have families do that. live your life free of headaches and struggles and only you can decide what it's going to be.

Answer 10

family comes first your only seventeen you are not going to be with him for ever if he threaten to hit you and don't trust you why would you make a decision to go away with him buy yourself think about how much that would hurt your mom if you moved away from them if he really did love or care about you he wouldn't have left and move so far away to start with. so think before you do something that will Hunt you for the rest of your life.