help me i am so scared!?

Question

had an argument 2day with my 21 yr old son who still lives at home, he told me to f... off and use such words as b.......s,he then told me to suck his stump, im at my wits end with him, he can be a lovely lad 70% of the time but has no respect for me or my home, i have split from his father but that was 19 yrs ago. I think its unrespectful 4 a child 2 use filthy language 2 a parent,am i wrong?
i must however say that my son is always respectable to other people and is very well liked amongst the community, but he knows i hate him using such vile language and i think thats y he does it, i have thrown him out on a few occassions, but a mothers love is so strong, his father allows him 2 speak like that in front of him, but he respects his father a damn site more, i blieve that its is societies doing as i brought my children up to always respect people have

Answer 1

kick his *** out....no child should talk to their parents that way....it's very disrespectful....if he's 21 i'd say it's time he was out on his own anyhow.....

Answer 2

"he can be a lovely lad 70% of the time . . .?" I could NEVER disrespect my Mother, ever! Even when I disagree with her (which is often) I still make it plain in such a way as to be respectful. You have done MORE than is required of a GOOD PARENT and should be proud of your dedication. Twenty-one is of age and over by law and he needs to be self-reliant and self-sufficient. If he's so close to his father, he can move in with him. You have rules and requirements at your home for a reason, expecting them to be followed is NOT UNSELFISH, its just plain common sense.

"i must however say that my son is always respectable to other people" so we see that the problem isn't him, it his attitude towards YOU. A mother's love may be strong, but it should also be PRUDENT and that means it should do whats BEST FOR her Son and that means letting him work and make a living for himself.

Answer 3

Is he using drugs? That type of behavior is unacceptable, and should not be tolerated. Both of you need to cool down then sit down and have a little talk with him. Lay down the rules and the expected behavior. Then let him choose to either follow the house rules or leave the house. If he chooses to leave let him know he won't be welcomed back unless he is ready to follow the rules. If you let him disrespect you like that he'll continue to do it. It's your house and he really is old enough to leave and be on his own so don't feel guilty. It may be hard but it's the best thing you can do for him. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Are you sure you want help and are really scared? You have kicked him out before and you let him come back to treat you bad again. Kick him out and change the locks and don't let him move back in. If he thinks he is old enough to disrespect his mother then he should think he is old enough to live on his own and take care of himself.
It was his fault the first time he did this to you, any time after that it is your fault for letting him back in.

Answer 5

You cause this under the guise of love. It is not love that brings him back into your home. It is your pathetic need to feel him abuse you. Seek professional help. Get him out of your house and never let him return.

And don't tell me that I'm mean and not compassionate after what you allow your own child to say to you. Grow a life. Get a backbone. Get so pissed that he will never forget you have feelings too.

Answer 6

Since he is an adult and refuses to respect you in your own home tell him he needs to find elsewhere to live. It sounds like he needed more discipline growing up. A good few whacks on the but never harmed a child.

Answer 7

KICK HIM OUT PERMANENTLY..

Today it's foul language and disrespect. tommorrow it'll be him putting his hands on you. He's 21, time for him to be own his own anyway. He's a man or needs to be. The only way he will respect you is if you respect yourself. Never let you adult child disrespect you because you're only allowing the process to continue.

Answer 8

you shouldnt let him speak to you like that. you dont have to take it. as long as hes living at home, you should lay down some ground rules and rule number 1 is that hes always respectful. if he doesnt like it, he doesnt have to live there. heck, he can go live with his father, but then daddys going to get mad with him walking all over him too. and if hes 21, why is he still living at home? he needs to learn to support himself. not that im saying your a bad parent or anything, but the boy needs to learn about respect and needs to become self-sufficient.

Answer 9

you need to kick him out for his disrepect and dont worry about if he;s homeless or not because it will teach him a lesson and he shouldn't be still living at home with you. It something your doing wrong that has him disrespecting you and not others because if he that way in your own house he can do what ever he wants.

Answer 10

That is abuse and it's time for him to get a job and move out.
He is disrespecting his own mother and could you imagine what he would do to a wife.
Time for him to move in with his dad or move on.
I know you love him but you sure don't need to put up with that and how can he be so respectful to other people and not you.
Good to go!You only get one Mother and you only get one time around.

Answer 11

Although he may be your son, he is 21 dont you think he needs some responsiblilty? Tell him to move into his own home! He has no right disrepecting you in your home, let alone you are his MOTHER!