What to do when yyou don't want your original bridesmaids!?

Question

Ok I have my sister as a bridesmaid my best friend is the maid of honor and another friend from school as a bridesmaid. the friend from school is the only one out of the bunch i don't want in the wedding party anymore :( I was proposed to in april, asked her in mahy and my wedding is still 2 years away, so no dresses or anything purchased like that..,.... but she's beengetting on my nerves, mad that I haven't returned her phone calls even though I've been busy and sick and I've expressed that to her but she doesn't seem to get that. I'm just so extremely frustrated and stressed about the whole manner and I don't know if it'[s awful of me to un-pick her as a bridesmaid!?!?? I feel awful for even bringing it up but I can't have her in the wedding party
HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I say give this woman a call and tell her exactly what you are telling us. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, you dont need her "issues" to be piled on top of that. I dont think you really need to go in depth and say hey you are getting on my nerves or anything, maybe you can tell her that you are really stressed and her behavior isnt exactly what you need right now. Let her know that you have been busy and sick and really just have not had a free minute to talk to her.

I dont think it is awful to not want someone to be the bridesmaid, seeing as though you arent getting married for two years. No dresses or anything have been bought so she wont be out of any money. Also, maybe your relationship with her may improve in the next year and she can once again be your bridesmaid.

I just say, skip the stress!

Answer 2

If your wedding is still 2 years away, I'd let it rest for now. You don't even need to plan anything for at least a year, so there's no need to put much focus on the wedding or the preparations. Your relationship with her might get better or it might fizzle out by then. Just don't talk weddings when you do see or talk to her and if she brings it up, move to a new topic quickly.

But I can tell you from experience, wedding stress is awful. I would have had a much smaller wedding (or a weddingmoon on some tropical island) if I'd known then what I know now.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Okay nothing has been chosen or purchased. Let her know that she is making things more stressful for you then it needs to be and would like for her to step down as bridesmaid. By asking her you were honoring her and your friendship. But don't be surprised if she doesn't want to or if your friendship is over because of this, but weddings are very stressful to begin with and can often end friendships. If you just want her to back off let her know that the date is for awhile yet and that she needs to back off and you will contact her when you start making decisions about dresses. Also, give her the opening to back out of being in the wedding, I would have stepped into that had I been allowed to do so for one wedding I was in. I wanted to get out of a wedding 3 months before the fact, because the bride was becoming bridezilla and made me into a bad person because of all things I cut my hair for the summer where I spent it out in the hot sun for a whole summer, while she didn't.

Answer 4

I think 2 years is a good extended time for you and this friend to work it out.

Mine isn't til 2 years as well. Since I have mix feelings about even having bridesmaids in the first place since everyone needs to get their head out of their booties, I decided I will not choose until the time come near, if I do decide to have any that is.

There is no rule about having bridesmaids, how many, who or anything. Can have what you want in your wedding. If you only have one bridesmaid and honor, then that is what you should have.

Since it is so long away and nothing purchased, just discuss not purchasing til the time come near. So, you have time to decide whether you two will get through this or you two won't. When the time comes near and you just not feeling it, then you can let her know you have gave it time and feel it isn't the best situation.

You don't want her to back down, then it falls more apart and then you decided you did want her in.

But, it is up to you if you tell her that you want her to back down from it or not.

Being sick I think is a good excuse cuz I am soo not a people person when sick. but busy I can see too. However, we all have 5 mins out of the day to say hi, how are you, g2g bye. That is the battle I have with others who want me to call them and go do things with them but they never call me or come see me. I feel So, there is a defined line.

If you just not feeling this girl totally and don't want to wait for you two to see if can work it out. Then tell her how you feel. "I honor our friendship and I know we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things though. Due to that, I feel I want you at the wedding but for both of us, might be alittle too difficult to be a bridesmaid. so, I hope you still come and ok with it" Sorta something like that. But um, you and I know she will be upset. Just have to let her have the time to be and go on with your planning.

Answer 5

this is yr wedding and you call the shots to what will make you happy on the day. wait for a bit untill you feel better. then think about what you want to do. this article has some great ideas and more on weddings

Answer 6

Tell her to save on costs for everyone, you are scaling back your original plans on the wedding party. BUT, who are you going to have to cut on the guy's side to make it even?

Answer 7

OK -- this is a great example of why WEDDINGS spoil marriages. This is so damn stupid I cannot even find words to express it.

Answer 8

I'd wait for a while before you make any decisions. You might change your mind in a year or so.

Answer 9

you need to tell her look.I'm stressed enough about this wedding. and i could really use you're help with getting things done. So could you please help me with getting my wedding together.and after all is done I will help you with any questions you have.But first I need you're help with planning the wedding.and if you need help in the mean time please ask someone else.and they well help you.I'd appreciate it thanks.

Answer 10

If you still want to be friends, you cannot unpick her, but if you don't want her friendship any longer, ditch the b*tch.