Would you attend your spouse's family reunion if the family has been unwelcoming in the past?

Answer 1

Yes, I would, and I have.

My husband dated a certain girl for a long time before he met me. His parents really loved her and thought she'd be an ideal wife, so they were pretty disappointed when he broke up with her, and married me not too long afterwards. I am very different from her, and they did not think I was good marriage material.

I went to family reunions and functions with him all the time, even though his family was not welcoming. I knew people were talking about me; no, I am not paranoid, I would walk past an open door and hear people saying unkind things about me because they did not realize I was in the hallway. I stuck with it because I love him more than anything, and I did not feel it was fair to make him feel like he had to choose between either them or me. I stuck with it, despite the fact that it was hard. I knew there was a possibility that his family would never like me, and I was prepared to just deal with that as gracefully as possible for his sake.

I felt like an idiot, but I just basically jumped in with both feet, and acted like an established member of the family. When there was a family function, I called to ask what I was supposed to bring, just as I would with my own family. When I was told coldly I didn't need to bring anything, I brought stuff anyway. I went to visit people who were sick in the hospital, just as I would with my own family. I took gifts to people when I hadn't been invited to baby showers or bridal showers (after the showers, naturally) and I didn't mention the fact that I hadn't been invited.

It took a very long time, but they finally realized he is happy with his choice, and there's nothing they can do about it. His parents finally treat me very well (his mother and I are quite close, and I know she loves me, but I am not sure about his father, but that's okay), as do his siblings. I am not the most popular member of the family by far, but I am a member. And I know now that he would walk away from them without a backward glance if they forced him to make a choice between me or them, but they won't, just as I did not force him to choose.

So go to that family reunion. You belong, even if they don't welcome you. If they cannot see that you were chosen by your spouse, that's their problem, not yours. What matters is that the two of you are happy.

Answer 2

Definitely YES. And I say this because not going means they won. It means that they brought you down and made you think you were unworthy of coming to any of their family functions. It means that they actually got you to believe that when it comes to their reunions-you don't belong, which is untrue. It is of most importance that you assist your spouse's reunion and show his family that you have sticking power and that you're willing to be by his side even during moments that may make you uncomfterable. Here's a tip: when you do show-up make sure to be extra nice to everyone there. People may have misconceptions about you, but there are such things as second impressions.

Answer 3

i think of that if she cared for you she could try this for you. that's some thing that comes around as quickly as a year and a time for making mends with family members, if no longer she would be able to a minimum of flow and not enable or no longer that's that large of a deal. If she exchange into any style of female she could flow just to spite the different family members and enable them to appreciate that she would be able to be there, no be counted what each and every person thinks of her, as some distance with the aid of fact the baby sure he must be there if she somewhat doesnt decide for to flow then you somewhat take him,who knows perhaps you go with for the daddy son time.

Answer 4

Hell no, I hate my husband's family, I just recently found a letter from his incarcerated brother where he's been filling up my husband's head with junk and I was wondering why all of a sudden my husband was treating me so bad, it was because of this jerk. I wouldn't attend one of their funerals from now on, let alone a family reunion. I've noticed his whole family treats people who are more successful than them really bad, I guess it's a jealousy thing, but it's no excuse. It's ashame when family members fill up people's heads with crap and pit them against their marriage mates.

Answer 5

if my spouse wanted to go, I would go with them just to show that I supported my spouse and that what the family Thought did not matter to me. I married my spouse, not the rest of the family. Just hold your head up, smile and kill them with kindness. You can sow that you are above the rudeness and childish ways that way.. Good Luck

Answer 6

Yes I would and I have you have to be better than they are you can't let them get you down. I always said I married my husband not his MAMA LOL...Especially since we have a child I don't think my son should not know his cousins just because there are a few stupid people on his dads side of the family you know

Answer 7

Nope. I've been in this situation before. I didn't go. When everyone got back, several other inlaws didn't have a good time either. It was nice to not even have to deal with all thier crap. Don't waste your time. You have better things to do.

Answer 8

yes i would because it would show you have risen above there beaviour and shows that regardless of thier reception you and your spouse are a couple and will have to eccept you as one

Answer 9

No. I love my wife but I'm sorry I will not attend knowing they don't like me.

Answer 10

Er...no for sure.
You shouldn't have to if they've been rude to you for no reason.