How do I attract a lover and not a women who wants to have just sex and not a women who wants a realationship?

Question

To be honest I've always been out of place with girlfriends and all the girls that want one night stands... because I am a nice guy but I also have more than enough of the bad boy matality to go around... and I want the latter more than the former... I started all my sexual life when I was 12 but I still have not had intercourse so technically that makes me a virgin... (I'd like to think that I'm complex). Just being honest... to the person that reads this I warn you not to make any assumtions. Where would a person like me begin?

Answer 1

use protection. there are alot of std's out there!!
also, the problem with "casual sex & relationships", is that usually one or the other really wants more than friendship...so those relationships are short-lived

Answer 2

I may be a little out of touch, but I thought that a woman who just wanted to have sex without a relationship was just a lover ( unless you preferred a more perjorative term). I'm sure you are complex, most of us are. And no, I'm not making any assumptions whatsoever, but it almost sounds like you want someone in between a booty-call and a girlfriend. The problem with telling you where to find them is this:People (women, in this case) are different things to different people and at different times in their lives. The girl that would want to be a one-night stand for this guy may be ready and willing to be the next guy's girlfriend 10 months further down the line. Her circumstances and perspectives may have changed, she may be genuinely enamored with the other guy, or she may be at a different stage in her life. Maybe it's you that needs to let go of some assumptions. Just meet women whenever you see them now, only as your rapport with them deepens communicate honestly what you're looking for ( be tactful, though). Some will accept that, some won't. But they'll all likely appreciate your honesty. That'll give you a leg up over a lot of other guys.

Answer 3

As a woman, your question makes no sense to me. You don't want a woman you can just have sex with, but you don't want a relationship either. Exactly what do you think the middle is? I can't think of any women who will see there being an option other than the two I just mentioned. Personally, I think it's selfish that you would want to see a woman where evidently you think it will be more than just sex, but not enough to call it a relationship. It's still using her for her body and not offering any form of emotional support or commitment. Good luck.. you'll need it.

Answer 4

I admit I'm a little confused by your question. You don't want a woman who just wants sex...okay. But then you don't want a meaningful relationship either. Do you just want a female friend? I'm not sure where the lover part comes in. The very essence of having a lover, in my opinion, is having a sexual relationship. How can one have a lover without sex, if that's what you mean? I guess I need to understand better exactly what you want before I can really answer your question.

Answer 5

As a man, I think I completely understand the question... Us guys tend to go through this phase with different levels of intensity somtimes.. One day we dream of having the utimate woman we can share our lives with, and another day we can only think of bang bang bang. But then there are those moments when you feel like youve had enough of both , that you want a friendly "lover", or someone you barely know but can make love to you in a special way with no emotional or psychological attachments... Yeah, been there...

But if you step back and look at the bigger picture man... its still the same- In the end, us guys just want to have sex.

Cheers

Answer 6

There are only the following "categories" of women: Someone who's the one-night-stand type (never a good thing for anyone involved), the relationship-wanting type, and the type who are willing to just date and keep it to the just dating for a nice time thing without getting into sex. This type is very close to the final type, the type who only wants to be your buddy-kind-of-friend.

You're probably not all that much of a "bad boy" if you haven't technically had any sex yet, and just wanting sex doesn't make you that. Still, the reality is you have to accept that women are divided into the one-night-stand group, relationship group, dating only and buddy only group.

You have to decide whether you're ok with one-night-stand-type women if sex is all you want or if you can be ok with just dating people who may or may not be willing to have sex eventually but who will probably not be ok with your also hanging out with one-night-stand types.

The reality is that nice women/girls never, ever, ever are just looking for one-night-stands, no matter what today's culture would try to have you believe. You have to decide if you're looking for nice or trashy, and if its nice than you have to just do the old thing about looking for a girl you have interest in, ask her out, respect her wishes with regard to whether or not there's any sex, and 0 voila - yes, you'll be in a relationship.

If none of the options is anything you're happy with it probably means you aren't yet mature enough yet, and you either have to be happy with dating without sex or else the one-night-stand types.

Answer 7

You need to find someone who has the same take on life that you have.....that is the big challenge. If you read these ongoing relationship problems on Yahoo, you see these oversexed teenagers, you can see that no one is patient. No one has morals. Everyone seems to play games. Everyone is immature. Every one trie to manipulate the other.....blah, blah, blah..... I think you have to have morals and standards and find healthy places to meet people.....certainly not hanging in the bars. So, you need to asses what you want, do some research into where you would like to meet these people and make a committment to yourself. Nothing good is easy.......something of value takes time.

Answer 8

What the hell do you want? You do not want a relationship but you do not a woman who just wants to have sex either? So what type of woman do you want? Maybe you should get a hooker but then that would just be a woman who only wants to have sex. Sorry I can't help you. I am not sure even you know what you want. How old are you anyway? I'd bet you are not even 18 yet!

Answer 9

By meeting someone first without putting restrictions on it. You're getting in your own way by defining something you don't even have. Go out and meet women, get to know them, and then see where it goes. Don't make a list, and then go shopping - this is not the grocery store.

Answer 10

It sounds like you just don't know what you want. I mean you are asking for a girl that doesn't prefer JUST SEX. But then you don't want a woman who wants a relationship.

First decide what it is exactly that you want and then ask the question again.....