I met this guy at church and last month, he asked me out: "Would you like to go out next week?" We went out and went out a few more times and then his behavior started getting weird. (When we started hanging out he had just broken up--within two months--with a long-term girlfriend.)
When I asked him what was up and said I was confused, he said he wasn't interested and that going out the first time was never a date (even though he asked, he picked me up, and he paid).
Now I am more confused, so Christian guys out there, what signs should I be looking for? what signals mean more than friends? and what do you advise about this guy?
2006-08-06 09:41:00 · 3 answers · asked by shadelemonade 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am actually trying to figure this out myself as a Christian young woman in my late 20s. I have a good guy friend that I have known for at least four years and all the sudden he started kissing me. The next day he just wanted to be friends. I wonder about his motives and his reasons for liking me.
My friend seems very fearful when come to talking about relationships and dating. I am guessing he was hurt in the past and has so much baggage. Whatever it could be...
I think that is what the guy you mention is going through. Probably, he has some baggage from his past relationship and he is very fearful of diving into another one.
Give him time and space (very difficult to do but necessary). Just stay friends with him and hang out in groups so he won't feel awkward about the situation. Let him think about his emotions and thoughts of what he wants.
2006-08-06 10:15:45 · answer #1 · answered by englishtea26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me please!
Proverbs 4:23 says "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." It may be that he is missing the other girl right now. As the two of you were going out, you have to realize that in the back of his mind he was thinking about the other girl. Something you may have done that reminded him of her, or something you didn't do that she used to do. Two months I think is way too soon. I'm talking from the other side as a guy about this, because this happened to me. Except my ex and I didn't even wait two months. She fell for me even when she was still with the other guy. Long story short, I should have given her more time...a lot more time to heal. Now what's worse is that I work with the girl and yes we both are Christians, but don't really associate with each other. It's sad. Don't get your heart involved too quickly, guard it. Pray hard about it and seek God's wisdom. If I can offer anything else, you can e-mail me. God Bless.
2006-08-06 11:47:51 · answer #2 · answered by fhfan731 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a guy, but if he had a long term girlfriend, he may be deciding to go back to her, especially since he said that he wasn't really taking you out on dates. If he says he's not interested , he's not interested. Leave it at that. It really does sound to me like he's either having second thoughts about the other young lady OR he is just not ready for a serious relationship yet.
My advice to you, just leave it a lone, I know it's hard, but leave it a lone. If he decides that he's interested, he will come back to you.
As far as being more than just friends, they take you out on dates, they let you know that they would like to see you and get to know you more, they just don't dump you like that.
2006-08-06 09:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋