How do I get over my sister-in-law banning my son from visiting their home until he's potty trained?

Question

My brother's wife "banned" my son from visiting their home because he wasn't potty trained. The sad part is, he was completely potty trained within 2 weeks of her saying this. My niece (her daughter) spends lots of time at my house, and she's no angel, but we love her as is!!! This woman has caused some terrible feelings in our family outside of just me and now I'm fuming mad and ULTRA protective of my son's feelings. I seldom see her, thank goodness, but just seeing her makes my adrenaline rush and it's soooo unpleasant. I've tried to see her as insecure and just pity her, but her b.s. is just tearing this family apart!!!

By the way....I can't tell my brother because she will deny it and bold face lie to him...alas, this is not the first time she's played games like this.

Answer 1

EASY. Go to Radio Shack and get a voice-activated recorder when you "drop by" your brother's house. This will clear up any confusion over who said what. You don't have to show the recorder, just place it where its not noticed.

Also, it IS her house and until he is fully potty trained I would (sadly) do what she asks. However, even SHE must realize that every child will have "accidents" and there IS NO getting around that. However, I'm sure her child is "perfect" and doesn't do "accidents" and is without blemish, he-he. Some people simply go through life with blinders on.

YOU ARE RIGHT to pity this woman as she MUST be unhappy, however, in NO WAY are you to allow yourselves to be made a victim to her either. That WOULD BE UNACCEPTABLE. She is your brother's wife and not your brother, big difference. He has to live with her, YOU DON'T.

Just call once or twice a month to see if the children can play at your house, at YOUR LEISURE. This will stop her complaints.

Answer 2

Why is your son being potty trained within 2 weeks the sad part? What's so sad I about that? I would think you would be proud of you son. You acknowledge the fact that you are "ultra protective" of your son's feelings. This is not healthy for him or you. It sounds to me like you are probably the one whose behavior needs to change. If this is your biggest problem, I think you are going to be just fine. I don't see how she is playing a game. She has the right to make the rules in her own home.

Answer 3

B*****Sorry but she is.You need to talk to your brother about it.So what let her deny it.Your letting him know how this is making you feel.My father wouldn't let my son come over untill he was potty trained.I thought that was mean because he was sad that my other 2 kids could go over there and he couldn't.He's 3 and your"in law"I put because sister is out of the question she has a kid.She should know about how it could hurt a childs feelings.He's potty trained and now it that he's too young to go hang out with him.So he keeps making excuses.Confront that b***and tell her how you feel.You will feel so much better getting it off your chest,trust me.Don't make it so your brother has to choose between you and his wife.It's unfair to him but I think that siblings should always stick together.You can replace a wife you can't replace a sibling.I think that he should step up and let your son go over there.The way she is acting though i wouldn't even want him to.Screw her and still let her daughter come over.Show her that you are better then her.

Answer 4

She sounds like a biotch... and a control freak. I would write her a nice letter and tell her exactly what you think of her BS policy... and then I would avoid her altogether. Your brother will eventually pick up on your absence, and maybe approach you and ask you what's up. I would tell the truth- she can deny it all she wants, but your brother needs to know how that made you feel, and HE needs to step up to her and defend his relationship with you and your son. These things are usually not solved easily or right away. It will eventually come out in the open though, and she will have to answer for her actions and face the music. If your brother values his family members, he will eventually get tired of these weird little tics of hers and the relationship may not last anyway. Just give it time- people like this always get theirs in the end.

Answer 5

Well since he had to be potty trained to return, let her know that he is now potty trained. But don't expect an invitation. She is the one who is losing out on loving this wonderful young man. Keep inviting your brother and his daughter over for visits and continue to love her. But don't say anything. I know that is hard (my sister irritates me to no end and as a result I will cut off contact from her because of her hateful ways). It also causes problems. Love your son and let him know that some people are blind to what is truly important in life and that he just needs to go on living without his aunt's approval. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Tell your brother what happened no matter how you think he will feel or if you think she will lie about it. Say so and tell him this has happened before.

Tell him that you are telling him this because you want him to understand why you will be avoiding his wife from now on, and then do it. Ban this thoughtless and many etc woman from your life will be a blessing to your son, he does not need to be exposed to such a person.

As for keeping her child, stop it. As you say she is no angel and her behaviour will certainly rub off on your child. If your son is not good enough to be in her home why should her child be allowed in yours. It will also help you cut contact with this terrible woman. God bless you and your family.

Answer 7

You need to take a stand and confront her. Tell her how you feel and the rest of the family. Have a pow-wow at your place and place everything on the table for her to see. Also tell her of how her daughter acts at your house. She needs to know right away so she can try to correct this before it is to late. She will probale hate you for awhile but she will come around and appreciate it later in life. You have every right to protect your son and keep the guard up always. This is your battle to fight for all and sounds like you are the one to take it on Good Luck Keep Smiling and you are the stronger person Just always remeber that

Answer 8

How old is this woman? Fourteen?

And, you need to tell your brother, ESPECIALLY if you have another member of your family to back you.

What would she say if you told her that you didn't want her daughter over at YOUR house until she was "trained" to behave better? She would have a fit. Your brother is in an unfortunate position between his family and his wife, and I would be able to understand it if he didn't want to get in the middle of it. However, he does need to take a stand to your sister-in-law, and say, "Well, our daughter isn't always a good girl, but my sister keeps her over there. I think that we should do the same for her so that she can get some time off, too."

Tell him that she is lying to him, and if he says that your sister-in-law is okay with your son coming over to their house, TAKE HIM UP ON IT IMMEDIATELY.

Answer 9

they both sound like assholes and do you really want your children in that enviroment anyway? if she's that anal about potty training id keep him away from there if you aren't around. i'm serious. it takes on comment or experience to make a lasting bad impression or feeling about a whole experience all together for the rest of your sons life. make sense?? sorry, she could make him self concious about something for the rest of his life. not just the potty thing. she sounds horrible and ur brother may be family but not good family if he can't put his ***** of a wife in check. only when ur there or ur just as bad as her.

Answer 10

Well....one thing that someone told me when I feel angry with someone is to not feel that way and to fight those feelings because when y ou are angry with someone that has done something bad to you, you are basically stooping to their level and giving them what they want. The only way a family can be torn apart is if it's what you allow. If you allow her to tear your family apart, she will do it. If you don't allow it, then she won't

It is important that you tell your brother what is going on, I know you said that she will deny it, but he has the right to know. If you do not start taking, that little wench will keep pulling crap like that and causing more misery and hard feelings.