my 1 yr,old has MAJOR seperation axiety?

Question

this is my 2nd child,my first wasn't like this AT ALL...
she cries if I try to leave her even to go to the other side of the room,and always wants me to carry her. the only way she is happy,is if I have her on my hip all day...I have put her down and let her cry,she justs follows me from room 2 room crying...she still wakes up 2-3 times a nite for a bottle...has anyone had any success stopping either of these issues? thanks...

Answer 1

There´s this british show called "The baby whisperer"
Once there was a woman with a 14 month old baby with a really bad case of separation anxiety, pretty much like your baby. The baby's mother was desperate, because she couldn't put the baby down at all or else she would cry nonstop until she vomited from all the crying and then continued crying until she picked her up. Anyway, one of the mistakes that the baby whisperer woman pointed out was that the mother's baby had gotten the baby girl used to falling asleep over her chest and then when the baby was asleep, she would put her in the crib. Then when the baby would wake up, she was disoriented and didn't know where she was because when she had fallen asleep she did it over her mothers chest instead of the crib and she felt confused and abandoned. Annother mistake was that everytime the baby woke up in the middle of the night, her mother would breastfeed her and then she would lay on the bed with the baby over her chest to make her sleep and the baby would wake up over and over during the night. They told her that what she should do was that at bed time, she should put the baby in her crib and talk to her softly and pat her back to help her learn to calm down by herself until she fell asleep and if she would wake up during the night to do the same thing... or something similar (i don't remember very well because I saw it last year).
The baby whisperer also recommended that the baby spent more time with other family members such as her father so that she could learn that she could count on him for comfort and nurturing too.
During the day she recommended the babys mother to put the baby in a playpen inside the same room she was and distract her with an interesting toy when she started crying and then do her chores or whatever she needs to do in that room and if the baby started crying to comfort her telling her "it's ok (name of the baby) mommy is here and I won´t leave you". The first week it seemed like it wasn´t working at all but then they interviewed the family the second week and they said that the baby had become a very happy girl and the separation anxiety was much more under control and that finally they could rest a little because she would sleep all through the night, etc.

Answer 2

First, you need to tackle the bottle thing. You need to start introducing the sippy cup to her and then gradually start working on weaning her from the bottle. She should be able to sleep through the night without a feeding. She is just wanting you at that time. When you hear her cry at night, go in, comfort her, make sure she is okay, say goodnight and leave the room. If she is still crying, wait a little longer span of time and repeat the above. Do not pick her up. She will eventually get the picture. During the day, try to tell her that you are leaving the room and you will be right back. Tell her what you are doing. If you keep repeating this, she will realize that you are going to come back all the time. If you leave her with a sitter, do not sneak out. This will scare her even more. Gently explain to her that you will be gone for a while and you will come back. Kiss her and leave, even if she is crying. Chances are, 5 minutes after you leave she is involved in something else. It will just take time but she will outgrow it.

Answer 3

You were lucky with your first one (my two kids are opposites all the way!)--it's a pretty normal phase. At her age, she's still not sure that things still exist when they're out of her sight, so she's understandably scared when she can't see you. Try playing some hide-and-seek games with her. Start with peek-a-boo, only hiding your face. If she's OK with that, try walking where she can't see you while she's in her crib or play yard, but keep talking to her so she knows you're still there. Come back after a short time, before she gets upset, then keep walking away, talking a little less and being gone a little longer each time. She'll soon get the idea that you're not abandoning her. Also, make sure that when you do have to leave her with someone else, you always say goodbye instead of sneaking out when she's not looking. If you sneak out, she'll think that every time she loses sight of you, it means you've left her.
As for the waking up at night, the only thing that worked for me was the "Ferber" method of letting them cry for longer times each night. It was heartbreaking for about a week, but it worked like a charm! Good luck, and remember every parent's mantra, "This too shall pass!"

Answer 4

This is going to sound mean but you are going to have to let her cry. I don't think she has seperation anxiety she just knows that if she crys you are going to go pick her up. The nighttime things, are you feeding her baby food? She could be crying during the night because she knows someone will pick her up. Or is she just making noises and you just go pick her up? Unless she is wailing don't pick her up at night.

Answer 5

You are just going to have to cut her off cold turkey; sound slike you've tried easing in to it gently with no luck. Will have some rough days & nights ahead of you but better to end it now that when she is older. We had some similar issues with our first son who is now 3. Good luck!

Answer 6

Be persistant. You may let her cry for a few minutes, but it's obvious that you pick her up eventually. Don't give into her. You're the parent here, not her.

Answer 7

my daughters the same but just not that bad... if i'm in the living room and have to go to the bathroom then she starts to scream for me!!! usually i just keep telling her that i'm still here...and for the bottle i dont know.. my daughter is 17 months and still wont go to bed without one!

Answer 8

it is still afraid to b without you. you have to try bringing a driend over and having him or her be friends with it and it might slowly wean away from you