no patience with my kids am i a bad mother?

Question

I love my kids but i dont have the patience to deal with them its like i am in a hurry to get them to the babysitters house every chance i get. they want to be closer to me but i dont know how toshare that closeness with them i feel like i am not attentative to them their feelings their likes their dislikes i barely want to show affection toward what is my problem i know that i suffer from depression but i dont want that to interfere with me and my children i want to be a better mother in every way possible but i dont know how i need to figure out a way before its too late too add these children are 3,5,7 years old please someone help me!!!

Answer 1

As you stated you are suffering from depression and this could be playing a role in your life and children's life. You could sign up for parenting classes. They can help. You also need to seek counseling. This will also help you and if you aren't on medication - see your doctor and get medication.

Answer 2

No if you were a bad mother you wouldn't be looking for a solution. Your children need you but all parents get stressed at times. You say you suffer from depression are you on meds if not then get to the doctor and tell him what you said here there is stuff you can take that will make your life a lot better. Also get into some counceling for the depression. If all three kids at once overwhelm you then have a day out with each one alone. Then slowly do outings with the three of them together. At their ages they are going to wonder what is wrong with mommy so get help soon you are in no way a bad mother unless you dont do something to get help

Answer 3

I'm a mom of 3 (1 deceased) and grandmother of 3. I'm also an impatient person, short tempered, and had problems showing affection to my kids.

You are NOT a bad mother, but you do need help. Recognizing it is the first step to making things better.

If you are depressed, please see your doctor. There are medications now that are mild and not addictive, and you need to get that under control.

Then you must find a way to prioritize your responsibilities and take some of the pressure off. Feeling overwhelmed and 'out of control' is where impatience comes from, so find ways to lighten the load. Your kids will be better for it, and so will you.

So what if the house isn't spotless every day? What's wrong with a sandwich or pre-cooked frozen chicken nuggets/tator tots a couple of days a week? What's the worst that could happen?

Do one load of laundry each day after the kids are in bed - the clothes you/they need for the next day. When the kids are gone for a day, do the rest of the laundry. My cousin does this. There are many ways to be creative with responsibilities so they aren't "too much".

Once you lighten the load you won't feel so overwhelmed, which will allow you to relax. Then you can give more of yourself to your kids and be more responsive to their needs for affection. Very few people feel affectionate when they're under pressure.

If you have an "outside" job, see if there's a way to make adjustments there too. If you have a 'normal' 40-hr/week job, but a stressful one, see if there's a less stressful position that you can move into. I did this. If that isn't an option, see if there is a way to delegate some duties - if there's another person who's load isn't as full as yours, see if you can turn over one or two of your duties to them. Find a way to level out the responsibilities so your load is lighter, but theirs isn't too much to bear either.

Only you know your specific circumstances, so my comments are only generic suggestions that I hope will help in some way.

But remember: Your kids are only kids once, and you can't get this time in their lives back. "Schedule" time each day that is just for them, to play a game, go to the park, read a book, etc. A little goes a long way, and anything you do to make your relationship with them better will benefit all of you.

Best of luck.

Answer 4

My kids are the exact same ages!! And I sometimes have a little trouble keeping my patience too. It's a tough job with 3 little ones! But you have to take care of yourself first so you can be able to care for your kids. It sounds like you have some other issues besides depression that require a Dr.'s attention and need some meds for depression and anxiety. This may help you feel better and cope better with the kids. Kids are very forgiving and loving by nature, it's never too late to try to build a better relationship. Good luck and get to the Dr.s!

Answer 5

You need to seek professional help to help you with your depression. This is probably a big reason why you have no patience with your children and can not show them affection. If you are not a happy person yourself how can you be the kind of mother you want to be.

You are not a bad mother. You recognize you have a problem and now you are willing to take the steps to fix the problem. Best of luck to you

Answer 6

No you are not a bad mother, I have ZERO patience with my kids as well, although I suffer from daily migraines.
Just dont get to physical with them. If you suffer from depression, maybe you could take a vacation BY YOURSELF away from the kids...even if its just to the mountains and not hawaii.
Those are very young kids and that is alot for one women to handle, let anyone.
No your not a bad mom, unless you beat your kids.
Other than that you just dont have the patience, I dont either and I think I am a good mom.

Answer 7

I really think that a lot of parents are like this. I think the big thing is understanding that our kids are just kids. I find myself getting short with my kids every now and then and I just keep telling myself that they are only young once and I want to make the best of it. Life is short, kids grow up fast, and we only get this chance once. I know, sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but I really feel like we need to enjoy what we have and be grateful. Just try slowing down a bit. Even if it means turning off the computer or the tv or putting the telephone down. Kids usually just get rowdy and stuff b/c they want our attention. Love them as much as you can and tell them that you love them.

I hope you can work things out.
Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

No your not a bad mom, kids were your patience I know I have 3 of them, but I would go see a doctor and if you want a better relationship with your kids when they grow up start trying a little harder now, because there not stupid they know whats going on. Do you want to grow older and never see your kids once they move out? Never see your grandkids? When your not working just try to spend a little time with them, play a game, hide and seek. I know you love your kids but you need to show them just start off slow and go from there.

Answer 9

Girl you need to talk to someone quick, you didn't say if their was a husband are not? if there is you need to let him know hey you need some time out just you and him and not have to be a resemble parent. I have 3 girls and manage a store and when i get like that my husband takes me out and total treats me. For example one time he reserved a room and put candles all around the tub and had my bag pack and took care of the girls for the night and called me at work and told me not to go home and to meet him in the parking lot where i work and he pick me up and took me to a very nice room with a pick-nick dinner and some wine it was the best ever and now he tries to do that once a month for me and us. But bottom line is you need time to let your hair down and not worrier about anything and recharge your self.

Answer 10

If you suffer from depression first get a handle on that ... then slow down.. depression and stress don't mix.. You are not a bad parent you just need to step back and slow down.. Get to know your kids and so what if housework doesn't get done..
The things kids remember as adults are the little things..
Kids nor parents come with instructions so we do the best that we can with what we have learned form our parents and the mistakes that we have made..
Good Luck!!