Is it normal for a 12-year-old boy to beat you up?

Question

I have a 12-year-old brother whose favorite thing to do to his older sister is attack her and use his fists to hit and scratch her, and pull her hair. How do I get him to stop?

Answer 1

At times, all siblings squabble and call each other mean names, and some young siblings will "play doctor". But here is the difference between typical sibling behavior and abuse: If one child is always the victim and the other child is always the aggressor, it is an abusive situation.

Some possible signs of sibling abuse are:

One child always avoids their sibling
A child has changes in behavior, sleep patterns, eating habits, or has nightmares
A child acts out abuse in play
A child acts out sexually in inappropriate ways

--How can I prevent abuse from taking place between my children?

Minimize the rivalries between your children.

Set ground rules and consequences to prevent emotional abuse, and stick to them. For example, make it clear you will not tolerate name-calling, teasing, belittling, intimidating, or provoking.

Don't give your older children too much responsibility for your younger kids. For example, use after-school care programs, rather than leaving older children in charge of younger ones after school.

Set aside time regularly to talk with your children individually, especially after they've been alone together.

Know when to intervene in your kids’ conflicts, to prevent an escalation to abuse.

Learn to mediate conflicts.

Model good conflict resolution skills for your children.

Model non-violence for your children.

Teach your children to "own" their own bodies.

Teach them to say “no” to unwanted physical contact.

Create a family atmosphere where all physical sexual issues and problems can be discussed.

Monitor your kids’ media choices (TV, video games, and Internet surfing), and either participate and then discuss the inappropriate media messages or ban the poor choices.

In short, try to stay VERY actively involved in your kids’ lives.

Answer 2

Where are your parents? It's their responsibility to teach him not to be violent towards anyone, especially a female and especially his sister. Start by talking to them.

Is he "normal" (for a 12 ear-old boy) or does he have some sort of disorder like ADHD, Autism, etc. that might make it more difficult for him to control his impulses? Again, it's really up to your parents, whatever the case may be, to ensure that he is learning other methods for dealing with his aggression.

If your parents are not willing to help you, I'd talk to your school counselor. He's big enough where he can really hurt you, and that is assault -- regardless of whether you're related. If he's hurting you when your parents aren't around, you have to call the police.

It may seem extreme, but if nothing else has made him stop, it will only escalate and he may harm other people as well. The sooner this issue is treated, the better off everyone -- including your brother -- will be. He needs help to deal with anger and/or impulse control, and if your parents aren't willing to so something about it, and leave you in harms way, you have to take matters into your own hands.

Answer 3

I had this problem with my brother when we were little, but as we got older he stop being so mean to me. The only reason that he did it was because he was so jealous of me and for no reason. He just thought that our parents treated me better than him is all it was. That was not the case at all. But both of us was really jealous of each other.

The only way that I got him to stop was one day I had something hard in my hand and when he went to hit me I put it in front to block the punch and it hurt him pretty bad. He never hit me again.

Answer 4

Have you talked to your parents about this? No, it's not normal for your brother to be physically abusive towards you all the time. Tell your parents and have them talk to him, if that doesn't work then think about fighting back if he won't leave you alone. Your parents should really be the ones to let him know if he doesn't stop there will be consequences.

Answer 5

The first answer is correct...
Whoomp his a$$
Seriously, If you do not do this now, he will try to dominate you/her for the rest of your/her life. And you/she may turn out to be a weak person. At all times in life everybody should stand up to bullies.
Telling your/her parents will only delay the innevitable.
Good luck
And Whoomp, whoomp, whoomp his A SS


- From a dad

Answer 6

When the sister gets tired of it, she'll put a stop to it. I know I would.

Answer 7

it is not normal. it is not acceptable. if your parents
cannot or will not put a stop to this then get the authorities
involved. it must be stopped.

Answer 8

Hope he grows up, or if he likes girls.... maby one of your friends use that against him

Answer 9

if u want him 2 stop....kick his @ss!!! show him who's boss!!! i did that wit mii lil sis.

Answer 10

whatever floats his boat