5 year old son wondering why?

Question

My Sister is 28 and still living at home. She also hates children And I have a 5 year old son. So we can not visit his grandparents unless she's not there. When my son was younger he asked my mom if he could sleep over. She told him when he is potty trained then he could within a week he was potty trained. He then asked his grandma again. she told him maby when you are older. He was very hurt Because he worked hard so that he could.
My son is now older and he's wondering why his friends get to hangout with there grandparents for the day and get to sleep over at there house when he can't.
Any suggestions?

Dad speaking now:
Thought i should add a little to this.
First off, you thoughts and suggestions on the matter are greatly appreciated. My folks love to spend time with him. We will focus a little more on them. As for my in-laws home? Its a strange place. very weird. The sister in question is a mystery. She never grew up. But not only does she have a rank disposition, she is withdrawn. Speaking with her is useless for both of us. She is defensive and mean. And i am certain that she would not be willing to work with us. The frightening thing is, yes, she does in fact have control over that house. She makes such a huge stink all the time that everyone there tries to avoid annoying her. It is pathetic, but its the way it is. She hates me because i don't buy her bs, she wouldn't listen to me. The grandparents are the key. If we can somehow convince them that they are missing out as a result of the sister, they may gain the courage to remind her of who's house it is. And again, Thanks.

Answer 1

I believe that you would require to have a heart-to-heart talk with your sister and your mother. Tell them exactly what your son said and how he felt. After telling them everything, ask them to tell why they're acting as such. If you think that their excuses or reasons were not reasonable enough, let them know what could be done and how to deal with your son.

I believe that there is more to what you've said 'cause if you do have a good relationship with your sister and with your mom, they should be loving and caring as well to your own child.

Children are moulded by the experiences they get, and they do get hurt easily deep inside. Try to talk things over in a calm and objective manner with your sister and mom. Try to draw solutions on how to 'better' your son's relationship with them. Let them how important it is to your child, for them to accept him and love him- even with such a simple request as sleeping over to their place.

Answer 2

Let him know that his aunt is not a kid friendly person right now and it would not be good for him to be around her. Maybe when she moves out of your parents house he can spend more time with his grandparents, for the meantime, why can't he spend time with his father's parents (I am sure they would love the time), if they aren't close by or are deceased, you could take him to a local nursing home or even talk to some older couple in your neighborhood or even at your church and see if they would be willing to be "adopted" grandparents for your son. Little children need to be around older people once in a while and there are some older people who don't get to see their grandchildren as much as they would like and as a result they are likely to accept your offer.

Answer 3

Sounds to me that little person is lucky to have great parents like you.That is what matters I know that spending time with grandparents is great and all but you cant force there hands.Your sister no matter how messed up or hateful she is has nothing to do with this.From what you tell me its all about grandparents they need to wake up and give her some tough love and push her out of the nest. From one parent to another they are missing out not that little one, he or she has you 2 and the other side of the family.I know that he or she does not understand this YET but he or she will in time and with this thought to both of you you tried and that's all you can do.Be thankful that you have at least one side that will see that little one and both of you not all little ones have that mine don't.God give me the strength to change the things i can and to accept the things I can not. Words on a page I hope that these words give you 2 something.

Answer 4

I would see a doctor. It can be so many things and maybe will turn out to be nothing but mother knows best (or father). My cousin has been concerned about her kid since he was a baby and the doctor kept telling her he was just slow but he would get there. She had another baby really close and it started to pass up the first child developmentally. Well finally she insisted he go to a doctor that can analyze him and he has ADHD and was found to have something else wrong with him. Family doctors are not always right so insist that you can at least look into the possibility of something being different. Good luck.

Answer 5

I wouldn't want my child around people who raised someone that is still living at home at 28 anyway.

But...having said that...my grandparents weren't really the "grandparent" type, and I never spent time with them, except on holidays and they really just ignored us. I used to ask my Mom the same thing. I wondered why I didn't have grandparents who wanted to do things with me, who came to my birthday parties - sent a card, a present, something.....like my friends did.

My mom was just honest with me. She told me that not all grandparents are like that, and that she was really sorry that I didn't have that. She made sure I knew it was because of who they were - and had nothing to do with me. She also told me that I didn't need grandparents to do those things for me, because I had her. She definitely made up for it.

At the same time, I don't think I would've enjoyed being around them, because although I wanted grandparents like my friends had - I knew that the people who were my grandparents didn't have it in them.

That's just life, and your son doesn't have to have sleepovers at grandmas to thrive. One good thing - you'll probably be the best grandma ever for his children because of this. So...something good comes from everything.

Answer 6

I think it is very wrong on his grandparents part to allow their daughter who is 28 to be able to run their household.. How dare her say she hates kids.. this is her nephew, whether she likes kids are not..
Poor baby I feel sorry for him.. It is something that I believe he will not understand right now no matter how you try to explain it to him, all he thinks is that his grandmother doesn't want him around and that he can't trust her to keep her word!
This may be something you should talk over with your Mom..
The day will come that he will not be a kid any longer and his grandparents will need and want him around and he will not want to be there for them.... Then the only ones they can blame are themselves!!
Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Just tell him the truth. In kids terms. Find another grandparent figure for him to latch on to. Or go visit with him. Have your parents tell him the truth, continually raising the bar will hurt him. If he can't go visit until Aunt Sally leaves the house, tell him. That is something concrete, and it won't make him feel it is his fault. It also won't cause him to have high hopes, only to be crushed with another, maybe later response. If it can't be corrected, then the best bet is to find other grandparent figures for your son to bond with.

Answer 8

Who's house is it anyway? Your parents, or your sister's? Your son has a right to visit his grandparents and his grandparents have a right to visit him. Your sister seems to have a hold over your parents that I'd seriously consider finding out what it entails.
She seems to be running things over there and it is up to your parents to set the rules in their house. If she doesn't like it, she can always move out.

Answer 9

Would your child be miserable there? Would your sister be that much of an a** to ruin his time with his grandparents? Would your parents be that stupid to LET her ruin his time? Good God...she's a grown woman?! What in the heck would she do that would make it impossible for him to visit unless she's gone? So she doesn't like kids...is she nasty to him? Is she abusive to him? Can SHE go somewhere else overnight for a while?

Answer 10

Why is your sister calling the shots in your parents' home? Why is she still living at home at 28? I think your parents' should put their foot down with her and tell her to suck it up when your son is there, and quit acting like such a spoiled brat!