find I am having to answer for everything I do, and need to give a play by play of my nights events...Am I wrong in assuming that it is nobodys business but mine what i do, as long as I give a general time frame when I will be home.
2006-08-06 08:31:05 · 30 answers · asked by Mommy Dearest 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I moved back home because finically my mom needed help and I am not paying as much rent as I was on my own..
2006-08-06 08:59:43 · update #1
In responce to "Pattyswattys" I DO work..infact I hold down TWO jobs, I am helping out my mother with HER bills.
2006-08-06 10:51:27 · update #2
My Mom is the same way, she always wants to know where I'll be, who I will be with and when I'd be back. She just likes to know that I'd be okay. My Mom and I are really open with one another though, so I have a feeling that your situation is a little different. Talk with them and say that you are just going out with your friends, and they dont have to worry about you (as long as you are under their roof though, they probably will). Live your life the way that you want, and remind them that you are old enough to do your own thing, and feel like the details dont concern them. I know my Mom likes to know where I will be in case something happens, she knows where I am, tell them that you will have your cell on if anything happens and they need to contact you while you are out. You are right, it is your life!
Good luck!
2006-08-06 08:37:38 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I had to move back with my parents when I was 32!!! This was due to a tragic event in my life, but once I started going out again and having a life, I suddenly noticed that I also had to be accountable, not to my bio mum, but to my stepdad.
The issue is the same though. Don't stop your life, just sit down nicely and calmly with the parental units and explain to them, as an adult, what you're feeling. Like you feel watched, and you are an adult and need to have your privacy. Trust me. If said in that manner, they will absolutely understand.
And another thing: What do you think the chances are that the parent that's doing this to you had this done to them while they were an adult at home? Chances are pretty damn good that it happened to them.
Now it's up to you to draw your boundaries as an adult, calmly and truthfully and I bet you my entire life experience, that even if it starts some temper, that if you remain calm and collected, it will work out and nobody will give you the 20 questions routine ever again.
2006-08-06 15:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by Pretty Little Italian Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sure can relate! I'm 40 and moved in with my mom after I was divorced and in that same week she unexpectedly was widowed.
I pay rent, and believe that she does not need to know my exact whereabouts or details of every thing I do. When she has babysat for me, I've been more specific in giving details about when she can expect me home; but if my son is with me, it shouldn't matter. I have a cell phone, so she can call me if she needs to.
I have to remind her that I'm an adult and the parent to my son. It's been very awkward and frustrating, but over time, things have gotten a bit better. I still can't wait to be on my own, though!
2006-08-06 15:37:05 · answer #3 · answered by HearKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, as an adult you are correct in assuming that your business is your own. Are you financially dependant on your family? If you are financially independant then all that is necessary is to be respectful enough to, as you say, give a general time frame when you will be home. If you wish to share some of the details of your events that's your business, but you shouldn't feel obligated to answer questions you don't want to.
2006-08-06 15:36:18 · answer #4 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how old you are. If you're over 18, I would say that it's nobody's business, but then again, when you live under someone else's roof you have to answer to them to a certain extent. If you have a habit of doing reckless things and making bad choices, they may be just watching out for their best interest, and will want to be forewarned of any possible problems that may come up. For instance, if you make someone mad, and they decide to harrass you by calling at all hours of the night, egging the house, or damaging property, that doesn't just affect you, but also the people who own the house. They are just trying to gauge how they may be affected by certain things you're doing. If you aren't doing anything wrong, then don't worry about it. Answer their questions, don't get an attitude, and things will be fine.
2006-08-06 15:40:31 · answer #5 · answered by ?princesshousewife? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's an adjustment for both you and your parents. You may want to sit down with them and talk to them. You should not have to give a play by play but, you need to respect there home and not just come in at 3am. I was in the same situation a few years ago and I use to give my mom a head's up and just told her i probably would not be home or I was going to be out late and she was cool with that. I also, paid rent that way she could not say anything.
2006-08-06 15:36:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation and one I've been in. This is what I did. I told my father that I was an adult and my private life was my business. Out of consideration and love I will let you know where I am and when I'll be home just so you don't worry so much. I know you worry about me because you love me but you have to realize I'm not a little girl and I'm capable of making my own decisions. This worked for me. Maybe it will work for you.
2006-08-06 20:56:01 · answer #7 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A true "adult" as you said... Would understand and accept the fact that you are under someone else's roof and therefore subject unto their rules and limitations. Appreciate what you have and quit being a spoiled brat... Maybe that's exactly how you ended up back home to begin with? You need to become and adult and this is how you will learn perhaps?
2006-08-06 15:36:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay...
first... how old are you?
Secondly... I'd have to know about these UNFORESEEN issues to render an opinion.
Third... you can never go home again...
But Forth: Assuming you're an adult... you need to deal with your parents as an adult. You need to be assertive. However... the trick is to not seem UNGRATEFUL. There is a line.... and of course... make plans to get back on your own ASAP.
2006-08-06 15:38:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That all depends on what happen that you had to move back home. So why did you move back home? Need more information here. Did you break the law or what?
I am an adult my self and I moved back home, but I don't have to account for every move I make.
2006-08-06 15:37:16 · answer #10 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋