Wht would you do ?? need some advice ?

Question

ok so my sister might be going to jail and she wanted me to keep her 2 kids untill she gets out in a few months .. But the husband says if i keep them he will divorce me he says he is tired of picking up her slack we have cared for her child more then once and now she has a newborn ..im in a really bad spot if i say NO to my sister imma feel like a piece of crap if i do it my husbands gnna leave me he says he married me not my family plz whats ur insight on this situation.. its not looking good for me ..I told my sister it was a bad time for me and i prolly couldnt do it cuz me and the hubby been having problams and she got mad and hung up on me sniff i have a child with my husband m really torn on what to do

Answer 1

Your husband needs to realize that when you marry someone, you also marry their family. They are the people who shaped who you became, the person he fell in love with. The two of you need to calmly and logically talk about all the reasons he doesn't want to care for your sister's children. Then you, as a couple, need to talk with your sister and let her know how her screw ups are affecting you as a couple, her children, and your family as a whole. Let her know that if you do watch her children again, what things you expect in return: her getting her life in order, taking responsibility for them, making arrangements in advance for their care if she screws up again, and that family services are available if she doesn't want to do it this way. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Dont do any thing that will rock the boat with your own marriage! Your own responsibilities come first and your sister needs to make alternative arrangements and you will need to be frank with her and tell her that you are simply not in a position to take on her children for several months. There is nothing wrong with being honest as its always the best policy. Your sister has a responsibility toward her own children and she must have either a friend or relative who can live with her children whilst she is away afterall, It would not be considered reasonable for your sister to simply disregard your own domestic situation and if she can't accept that then thats just tough! I have known a few people over the years who wanted to be every bodys friend and they ended up friendless!

Answer 3

In any other situation, I would tell you to take your sisters kids. But because this has happened more than once...I have to side with your husband. If you keep making it easy for her, she's going to keep doing it. She know's those kids have a good home with you. Therefore she doesn't fear breaking the law, because she knows you'll always be there.

Personally I won't do anything illegal. I always fear that my kids are going to have no where to go. But that's just my personal opinion.

Your sister will forgive you eventually, but your husband is your life partner. You don't want to lose him over your sisters stupidity. I know you love the kids and its hard. But maybe this will be an eye opener for her.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Since this isn't the first time you've had to bail your sister out of trouble I would tell her sorry but no. Your sister needs to learn to stay out of trouble and take responsibility for her kids. Your sister is being very selfish. She's taking advantage of you and I don't blame your husband for feeling as he does. You never stop loving your family but your marriage should always come first.

Answer 5

Your husband married into your family when he married you. Sorry but I would tell him the kids are coming to stay with me, when can I expect him to move out? I will not turn my back on those kids, they never asked to be born and endure this crap and they need someone to take care of them. Your husband lacks compassion for mankind.

Answer 6

Your sister may be upset with you, but this is her reality check. It's not your fault for her mistakes and or this dilemma. This is her circumstance that has natural consequence, and now she must deal with the process how ever uncomfortable or unfortunate it is. She has made choices, not only for herself but her family, and now she must live with those choices. Life has a way of teaching self-discipline. Rules are in place for a reason, and this is one of them. You are not guilty of her behaviour, that's her responsibility. Sometimes we have to do the tough love to really help someone we love, and I guess you've been dealt that card and forced to play it. Perhaps she will have opportunity for counselling and will come to realize she has issues to work through. Sorry to hear your in such circumstances, but hope it helps. Wishing you strength as you focus on your family matters.

Answer 7

stick with hubby....work on your marriage! Tell your sister you will keep in touch with the kids where ever they end up, but you can not look after them anymore

Answer 8

i think you should help your sister because your husband wont get a divorce with you trust me. and if he does that means he does not really love you. he would be supportive of you and your sisters relationship together. so i think you should help your sister. good luck. godbless you, your sis, your kids, and her kids.


from someone who cares!!!

Answer 9

thats hard.. if it where me i would deff take my sisters kids in thats ur family and i would always be there for them no matter what.. if ur husband cant understand that then maybe he should leave.. its not fair that he made you pick

Answer 10

how long have you been married? is the marriage worth it? your sister should have considered that before she broke the law: foster care in some states is considerably lacking.